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DTMark

Bizarre Exchanges And Happenings

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Wondered if anyone has any tales of eccentric, weird experiences. I'm not normally lost for words as anyone who knows me would tell you. However on this occasion..

I work from home. We live in a rural area.

One day a few months ago there's a knock at the door during the day. Unusual. I wander downstairs and open the door.

Man standing there. Looks at me for a few moments. The first words out of his mouth:

"Are your parents there?"

Slightly dumbfounded and wondering whether to be flattered or not. Wondering what to respond with.

"Er, no. I live here."

"Ah. It's just that I'm selling fish and I wondered if you wanted any."

I can see a small van parked in the lane. Thinking "This is new. Haven't had this before."

"I'm a vegetarian".

"What about your wife?"

I could perhaps have just said no, but couldn't resist at this point.

"My boyfriend is vegetarian too."

The bloke looked genuinely puzzled, like I was the one not making any sense.

"Oh, right. Do you know anyone else who might like to buy some fish?"

The desire to reach out and slap the man grew inside me.

"No. Our neighbour is out during the day. Perhaps you could come back later on."

"Oh, I'm only here this afternoon" (like we, and he, had "lost out" somehow)

"Right then. Sorry, no."

Wanders back down the path, opens and closes the gate behind him, and gets back in the van. I'm not sure if I imagined a slight shake of the head or not.

Still figures as one of the most bizarre random exchanges I've had. Any other tales..

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I get similar occasionally - appaears to be some kind of man in a white van frozen fish franchise.

I have no idea where they come from as the vans are never marked with any names. Basically, a bloke knocks on the door, asks me if I wish to buy an enormous pile of frozen fish, asks me if I know anyone else might be interested, is only in the area for a short time and then goes away.

I get the impression that these fish men in a white van come from some distance away.

I have often wondered if it is some kind of scam but there have never been reports of Police hunting fish conmen in the area.

I find it odd mainly because I live about a 5 minute walk from the beach and the local market has numerous thriving fish stalls.

Expect a return encounter in several months time.

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I knew somebody who lived in rural isolation, down a long unmade lane with two gates on it.

One day at a time that she would usually be at work two guys in a white van turned up and knocked at the door.

They seemed surprised that she'd answered it, mumbled something and left.

She thought they were burglars looking for isolated places where nobody was in so they could turn the place over.

Maybe they now have a fish cover story.

This was the Forest of Dean ten years ago, so potentially the same guys as for TMT.

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We get them around occasionally. Sometimes they're just hawking fish, and trying to find new regular customers. On another occasion, it was a delivery to restaurants/pubs who was trying to get rid of the last of his load - the fish were frozen into containers, about 2kG a box to put in your freezer.

Mate of mine got doorstepped by a good one - who took orders the previous day and brought what you wanted to your door. Haven't had his luck myself, only choice I've ever been given is what's on the van.

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Is the van shaped like a giant whelk?

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Genuine fish sellers have vans that play fish-themed tunes, and have 'stop me and fry one' written on the side.

Also, the men that drive them smell strongly of fish.

Accept no imitations.

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Thats the well known fish seller scam, originates out of the North East.

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I knew somebody who lived in rural isolation, down a long unmade lane with two gates on it.

One day at a time that she would usually be at work two guys in a white van turned up and knocked at the door.

They seemed surprised that she'd answered it, mumbled something and left.

She thought they were burglars looking for isolated places where nobody was in so they could turn the place over.

Maybe they now have a fish cover story.

This was the Forest of Dean ten years ago, so potentially the same guys as for TMT.

I too don't doubt it cod have been a pair of ****-soles looking to turn the plaice over.

IRL - my folks used to have a fish delivery every thursday, was more semi-rural though, a big enough village to warrant a fair bit of trade. I also think he was linked to the local butcher in some way.

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Maybe I'm just not the social type, but I certainly wouldn't have been so forthcoming about my circumstances. I'd have just said "No, I don't want any fish. Goodbye." I generally refuse to deal with cold callers of any kind; experience has taught me that they're very unlikely to be calling for my benefit.

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I too don't doubt it cod have been a pair of ****-soles looking to turn the plaice over.

IRL - my folks used to have a fish delivery every thursday, was more semi-rural though, a big enough village to warrant a fair bit of trade. I also think he was linked to the local butcher in some way.

Mr Cod, the fish butcher? :blink:

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We use a Family Butcher.

Ah you want the "special" stuff! Are you "local"?

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I too don't doubt it cod have been a pair of ****-soles looking to turn the plaice over.

IRL - my folks used to have a fish delivery every thursday, was more semi-rural though, a big enough village to warrant a fair bit of trade. I also think he was linked to the local butcher in some way.

I didn't know this was a type of scam. But then I'm reminded of the exchange between Dreyfus and Clouseau:

"How did you know he was blind?"

"Because he told me so."

"And you believed him?"

"I had no reason to doubt him."

"That man was the lookout for the robbers."

We have had the lost dog scam a couple of times.

I wouldn't claim to be a body language expert but most people don't need to look to the heavens briefly to answer the question "What sort of dog is it?" nor become vague when asked "Where were you were he ran off?"

People get away with very little around here. There are too many people home during the day and it's a very quiet area with single-track lanes and rare, highly predictable traffic.

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We get them around occasionally. Sometimes they're just hawking fish, and trying to find new regular customers. On another occasion, it was a delivery to restaurants/pubs who was trying to get rid of the last of his load - the fish were frozen into containers, about 2kG a box to put in your freezer.

Mate of mine got doorstepped by a good one - who took orders the previous day and brought what you wanted to your door. Haven't had his luck myself, only choice I've ever been given is what's on the van.

Wasn't sure about the OP, but that one is clearly a scam. If there's fish in there it'll be stuff that's legally fit neither for human consumption nor animal feed.

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Wasn't sure about the OP, but that one is clearly a scam. If there's fish in there it'll be stuff that's legally fit neither for human consumption nor animal feed.

Why? Bought at the dockside market after inspection and delivered chilled to your door? The fish I've seen him get were superb.

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What else was there to do other than to murder wild animals, drink pink gin and bugger anything else that moved.

There was lots of that going on in the repressed Victorian times - people moving to places like Kenya, the Northwest Frontier or Wales for a big dollop of sexual promiscuity.

There are loads of big houses around Wales where, about 100 to 150 years, all sorts of sexual things were going on between groups of people who moved from London.

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