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Divorce rate


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HOLA441
Well, most marriages begin out of happiness, and also the expectation of a particular lifestyle.

When a cause of real unhappiness appears - like a house repossesion, unemployment, or crippling debts - it's a completely new variable, so many mariages will crumble.

I'm a little worried by all the marriages and LTRs where it's all, 'He has his money, I have mine, I just pay my share of the mortgage and that's it'. If you're not used to creating one, single household budget what hope is there when the bad times come?

The idea of being a couple is that you work together as you believe yo ucan achieve more together than you could apart from one another. Couples provide support for one another in a variety of formats, whether it be emotional , financial, building one anothers cofidence, adding to self esteem (e.g its nice when someone says oh you look nice etc), encouragement to go for a promotion or to get that qualification that you have always wanted to do, the list is endless.

As COAB says its worrying when couples don't discuss finances together and don't perhaps share things equally but the road is not a one way street, it works the same for men as it does for women. Sometimes it can be the man that keeps the "budget" short and sometimes it can be the woman, but these are issues for individual couples to work through and address.

The bad times do come and its not only in the realm of financial hardship, loss of a family member (a child or a parent) can place strain on relationships but its how we react to these strains that defines you as a couple. If you have the attitude "we won't be beaten, together we can get through this" then you are perhaps in a stronger position than those that think "every person for themselves".

Docorce and the causes for divorce are complex and generally its a culmination of several events that causes the breakdown; and in most cases its likely to be 6 of one and half a dozen of the other.

Its important for couples to realise one anothers strengths and weaknesses and to compensate for them, e.g he might be better at monthly budgeting she might be better at long term finance, or vice versa, but above all I think the most important thing to remember is this

"To keep a marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup.

whenever you are wrong admit it, whenever you are right shut up"

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HOLA445

You have to marry the right person.

We've been through 2 redundancies, job relocations and moving houses, deaths of parents, having children close in age, a shortage of work, I've been out to work, he stayed at home and looked after the children and vice versa.

I think it's called give and take.

It makes the bond stonger. :)

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BBB, if your only source of your sense of self-worth is to denigrate others then you really are a very sad little man.

yeah righty oh. you might have deleted your post, but they were none the less your thoughts. your quote remains in my post. i'll just refresh every ones memory why this spat begin in the first place. ;)

ZZ SAID....

TMT, as soon as the going gets tough a woman will leave you. It's that simple. Why stick with a mug on the poverty line when you can simply put yourself back on the market  and hook up with someone who isn't?

what was it you just said?

if your only source of your sense of self-worth is to denigrate others then you really are a very sad little man.

you are the biggest hypocrite i've ever seen in my life.

Going from BBB's example, I am very disappointed to have to say the latter pioneer.

read the whole thread pioneer. if you think i am wrong to pick a bigot up on his words, then please point out how and why.

BTW BBB, your onanism comment was utterly illogical. How do you jump from

""To keep a marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup.

whenever you are wrong admit it, whenever you are right shut up"

to self-abuse????

work it out. you are incapable of a steady relationship, due to being unable to admit you are wrong (i don't count deleting a post as admission btw.....an admission takes words of reason) and as for being right :lol: well ......

1) you rarely are

2) if you were would you shut up? :lol: (going by the evidence i've seen i think not!!)

therefore you are left with hanna and her four sisters to help you out. :D

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HOLA4412
to opinionate is not a verb you illiterate northern monkey. CALLING YOU NAMES???????????????????? WHO'S THE ONE WHO CALLED WHO A ******??????????????????????? WHO'S THE HYPOCRITE NOW SUNSHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF CALLING NAMES SHOWS WEAKNESS OF MIND AND CHARACTER, HOW COME YOU'RE JUST DONE IT? COS YOU'RE WEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

temper temper ginger :D

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i only gave you some good advice.being as though you class all woman as runners in bad times, i could only assume that that was the experience you had had of them all. i gave you advice how to avoid that situation again. nothing personal.

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hanging's too good for you.

don't you think wishing death upon someone is a little harsh, just because you unable to win them over (or ANY one for that matter) with your bigoted ideas and opinions? perhaps you really need to examine yourself here ZZ for your own misgivings. wishing me dead won't change the fundamental changes that need to take place with yourself to enable you to function as a valuable member of a community (HPC included)

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HOLA4421

"you really need to examine yourself here ZZ for your own misgivings"

As I said to statscat earlier, who do you think you are telling me what I do or do not need to do???? I am not trying to convert anyone to my opinion, UNLIKE YOU, and I explicitly stated earlier that I did not expect others to agree with me, nor are you obliged to.

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HOLA4422
remind me again how this isn't personal BBB?

"To keep a marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup.

whenever you are wrong admit it, whenever you are right shut up"

ahhhhh right!!! so that's why ZZ is such a fan of w*****g "

perhaps that might have something to do with the PM you sent me saying ''go **** yourself'' .......''you heard'' ? (without the c and u reversal)

as i've said to AH's like you before if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.

just in case you cant work that out, it means if you dont want to be called names, then dont call them in the first place.....CA PISH?

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my only misgiving is about having to share a planet with you.

LIKE YOU'VE SAID TO ME BEFORE BBB, GUESS WHAT THE "P" IN PM STANDS FOR????????????????

And as bottom-feeder so eminently demonstrates, you are no slow-starter in the "abuse by PM" arena. WHO'S THE HYPOCRITE NOW??????????????????????

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HOLA4424
"you really need to examine yourself here ZZ for your own misgivings"

As I said to statscat earlier, who the **** do you think you are telling me what I do or do not need to do???? I am not trying to convert anyone to my opinion, UNLIKE YOU, and I explicitly stated earlier that I did not expect others to agree with me, nor are you obliged to. SO F*CK OFF!

1) put your opinions on a public forum, expect some comments.

2) why delete them if you so fervently believe in them?

3) can't you do debating without swearing, telling people to F O etc all the time? surely that initself shows you as a bigot?

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