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crashmonitor

The Mulit Billlion Pound Family Loan Theft

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This problem is just massive. Family members targeting other family members for ''loans'' with no intention of paying it back.

Many of the victims are the elderly who are too trusting and are being cleaned out to the tune of six figures by their nephews or nieces for example.

I don't know the numbers but I'm guessing it runs into billions of pounds worth of theft every year, since I know so many victims. I suppose there is a lot of parent to children loans which by definition get forgiven. But extended family loans are also very common.

At the end of the day if you loan to a family member 90% of the time you are going to get shafted. In October I lent to a female cousin a couple of grand with the promise of repayments from the end of the month on direct debit.....six months on not a single payment has transpired and I have written the loan off. I honestly didn't expect to receive a penny, but she used suicidal emotional blackmail to get it.

Be aware a family loan always becomes a gift these days.......

http://www.moneycrashers.com/why-you-should-not-lend-money-to-friends-and-family/

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I have heard of several cases where people with early stage dementia have been fleeced by a son or daughter. In every case this has been the one son or daughter who had hardly ever visited and obviously couldn't give a sh*t. But once they realise they are vulnerable, they move in, all sweetness and light - often turning them against the rest of the family - and systematically raid accounts, before disappearing again.

Other than that we have several friends who have lent money to friends, usually because they need say £10k to start a business or because the business is going down the tubes otherwise. In each case they have never seen a penny of the money again, and sometimes they have never had so much as a postcard from the friend, either.

The wife if one such friend told me that she had said to her husband (after 2 such experiences) that if he was ever daft enough to do it again it would be divorce. Don't think she actually meant it. He is a highly intelligent bloke, too - just too nice and trusting. Or was.

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Any sensible person would look upon it as a gift not a loan....never a lender or borrower be.....causes far too many conflicts and family splits. ;)

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I have heard of several cases where people with early stage dementia have been fleeced by a son or daughter. In every case this has been the one son or daughter who had hardly ever visited and obviously couldn't give a sh*t. But once they realise they are vulnerable, they move in, all sweetness and light - often turning them against the rest of the family - and systematically raid accounts, before disappearing again.

Other than that we have several friends who have lent money to friends, usually because they need say £10k to start a business or because the business is going down the tubes otherwise. In each case they have never seen a penny of the money again, and sometimes they have never had so much as a postcard from the friend, either.

The wife if one such friend told me that she had said to her husband (after 2 such experiences) that if he was ever daft enough to do it again it would be divorce. Don't think she actually meant it. He is a highly intelligent bloke, too - just too nice and trusting. Or was.

Thanks for that, this problem is massive but I can't understand why it is swept under the carpet. A lady I know on who is now on pension credit was cleaned out by her nephew and again he used the business loan trick. My father bailed a cousin out, she immediately ceased the repayments.

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Any sensible person would look upon it as a gift not a loan....never a lender or borrower be.....causes far too many conflicts and family splits. ;)

I agree. However, if you are asked for money it is very awkward to refuse. In my case I have written the loan off in my mind and should I be asked for more it will be a straight no next time.

There are two types of people those who can't stand the idea of owing money to an individual (me) and others that just don't give a damn. I struggle to understand the latter.

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The answer is to never let them know you have money.

Always plead poverty.

If you buy anything expensive, boast about your 'win' on the horses.

Works for me.

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Thanks for that, this problem is massive but I can't understand why it is swept under the carpet. A lady I know on who is now on pension credit was cleaned out by her nephew and again he used the business loan trick. My father bailed a cousin out, she immediately ceased the repayments.

I suppose people don't like to publicise how they've been fleeced. We only heard about the 'business' loans from close friends. One of these had lent the money to someone he had considered a very old and close friend. Quite apart from the money, he was bitterly hurt when the friend vanished and never contacted him again. Maybe the friend just couldn't face him - who knows?

With another fleeced friend I think it was more a case of, 'Sod him, he can afford it.' Equally hurtful, though.

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I have heard of several cases where people with early stage dementia have been fleeced by a son or daughter. In every case this has been the one son or daughter who had hardly ever visited and obviously couldn't give a sh*t. But once they realise they are vulnerable, they move in, all sweetness and light - often turning them against the rest of the family - and systematically raid accounts, before disappearing again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn9V3gtwMrc

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Thanks for that, this problem is massive but I can't understand why it is swept under the carpet. A lady I know on who is now on pension credit was cleaned out by her nephew and again he used the business loan trick. My father bailed a cousin out, she immediately ceased the repayments.

I am certain that my feckless brother is slowly bleeding my parents white. They are always bailing him out. In return he treats them like sh1t. No surprise - he treats his own 5 year old son like sh1t too :angry:

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The answer is to never let them know you have money.

Always plead poverty.

If you buy anything expensive, boast about your 'win' on the horses.

Works for me.

....a very good policy that. ;)

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I suppose people don't like to publicise how they've been fleeced. We only heard about the 'business' loans from close friends. One of these had lent the money to someone he had considered a very old and close friend. Quite apart from the money, he was bitterly hurt when the friend vanished and never contacted him again. Maybe the friend just couldn't face him - who knows?

With another fleeced friend I think it was more a case of, 'Sod him, he can afford it.' Equally hurtful, though.

You have to ask yourself why they didn't go to the usual places for finance?......if a bank will not lend very often there is a underlying good reason, past performance or existing debt....I think at the time most have all the good intentions of repaying it, but in the end not having to sacrifice money to pay back comes before relationships.....thousands of loans are never repaid and never will be repaid. ;)

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I am certain that my feckless brother is slowly bleeding my parents white. They are always bailing him out. In return he treats them like sh1t. No surprise - he treats his own 5 year old son like sh1t too :angry:

Could be. My brother bled my mother for what he could, then resorted to forgery and fraud, she died penniless. When I went to the police, they couldn't care less, in spite of the evidence of forgery, and that he defrauded his employer by that means as well (police couldn't care in that case either, told the boss it was the banks problem to complain, and they don't like to admit their vunerabilities). They finally caught up with him when he diddled an old lady down on the South coast who seems to have had connections.....

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I agree. However, if you are asked for money it is very awkward to refuse. In my case I have written the loan off in my mind and should I be asked for more it will be a straight no next time.

There are two types of people those who can't stand the idea of owing money to an individual (me) and others that just don't give a damn. I struggle to understand the latter.

Yes.. I couldn't imagine giving a loan, it would be a gift or nothing. No pretense then. Having said that, I've just finished paying off a loan from my kids savings, little loan sharks were charging 12%..

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When my first business was booming I had family members I hadn't seen since I was a little kid come crawling out of the woodwork looking to get to know me again. Given that some of these had a history of gambling addiction I knew better than to give them the time of day. Happens quite often I think. i know a very successful and now retired Forex Trader who is worth tens of millions after he bought up loads of farmland in the USA who stopped talking to his parents because they kept asking for money. He was kind enough to pay off their debts and buy them a big house on 4 acres of land, got them a car each and yet that wasn't enough for them. They wanted vacation homes in Florida, Switzerland, Paris etc. He just cut them off and now only sees his brother from time to time.

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i've lent money to friends and family before and always got it back although a few times it took a lot longer that it should. I just never lend more than I can afford to write off and if they don't pay it back within a decent time frame or pay it back at all then I just never lend them money ever again, even minuscule amounts like £5. Its their loss if they are ever short a few quid and need to borrow any again.

If they pay me back in decent time then i'm happy to lend them money again, I've lent my brother money money loads of times and always got it back. I think it just depends on the relationship you have with the person and not being scared to ask for it back or set a time scale for when it should be repayed by.

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Mrs XYY and me are people who try to help if we can, and as such have been stiffed for about £500 over the last few years.

The offenders are refused any further requests.

And as we hit our fifties, the ability to say 'no' firmly is improving in both of us.

The balance sheet of The Bank of Mam and Dad is certainly in better shape these days...

:)

XYY

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i've lent money to friends and family before and always got it back although a few times it took a lot longer that it should. I just never lend more than I can afford to write off and if they don't pay it back within a decent time frame or pay it back at all then I just never lend them money ever again, even minuscule amounts like £5. Its their loss if they are ever short a few quid and need to borrow any again.

If they pay me back in decent time then i'm happy to lend them money again, I've lent my brother money money loads of times and always got it back. I think it just depends on the relationship you have with the person and not being scared to ask for it back or set a time scale for when it should be repayed by.

You sir, are the the small time, localised, real, meaningful, original, first credit reference agency.... ;)

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