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Bossybabe

English

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With thanks to my friend Pat:

Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning. A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym.

You think English is easy??

I think a retired English teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT!

Read all the way to the end.................

This took a lot of work to put together!

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are animal organs. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play but play at a recital? Folk ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

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Probably best to speak only French! :blink:

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Sorry, nothing unique to English about this. All languages have it, some more than others. Of the four I know enough of to have a clue, English is firmly in second place.

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Sorry, nothing unique to English about this. All languages have it, some more than others. Of the four I know enough of to have a clue, English is firmly in second place.

I'll bet you are the Hungarian speaker! :blink:

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Sajnos, én nem.

Minden, amit tehetünk, játszani Google fordítás.

Yes, that's you! Somehow I remembered that! :huh:

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There is no egg in eggplant

Nor such a thing if you're actually speaking English.

nor ham in hamburger

But there is the word "ham" in "Hamburg", can't expect every word to have every syllable unique.

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Spanish is one of the easier languages. There are few structural irregularities and even where there are, they are pretty predictable. Letters more or less only have one sound, and sounds almost only have one letter. Well, certainly nowhere near the vast number of combinations in English anyway.

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Don't tell my wife about this thread. You'll never get away. She has a PhD in this sort of stuff. Writes scholarly papers about dead languages. Lectures about spelling etc. Has theories about Ugric and Finnish. Or something. A cunning linguist, you may say.

When I met her she was a professional dancer!

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Don't tell my wife about this thread. You'll never get away. She has a PhD in this sort of stuff. Writes scholarly papers about dead languages. Lectures about spelling etc. Has theories about Ugric and Finnish. Or something. A cunning linguist, you may say.

When I met her she was a professional dancer!

I bet you trod on her feet, and now she has a desk job!

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I spent yesterday trying to explain to some Malaysian students what the word "do" means and why the phrase "Why you laugh?" should be "Why do you laugh?"

Not easy.

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I spent yesterday trying to explain to some Malaysian students what the word "do" means and why the phrase "Why you laugh?" should be "Why do you laugh?"

Not easy.

even in french there is no doing, amming or ising.

forgive them lord for they know not what they do...in modern English is... forgive them lord for they dont know what they are doing.

I think the first version is more elegant.

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Don't tell my wife about this thread. You'll never get away. She has a PhD in this sort of stuff. Writes scholarly papers about dead languages. Lectures about spelling etc. Has theories about Ugric and Finnish. Or something. A cunning linguist, you may say.

When I met her she was a professional dancer!

<terry thomas voice on>

What a charming combination...

<terry thomas voice off>

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even in french there is no doing, amming or ising.

forgive them lord for they know not what they do...in modern English is... forgive them lord for they dont know what they are doing.

I think the first version is more elegant.

Are you working through the same Michel Thomas Learn Italian book as I am ;)

The guy man on there spends quite a long time stressing this.

"I am going to buy it" in Italian would literally mean "I am on my way to the shops to buy it".

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Don't tell my wife about this thread. You'll never get away. She has a PhD in this sort of stuff. Writes scholarly papers about dead languages. Lectures about spelling etc. Has theories about Ugric and Finnish. Or something. A cunning linguist, you may say.

When I met her she was a professional dancer!

Introduce her to hunting the fruits of the tarmac. Double your 'take'..

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Are you working through the same Michel Thomas Learn Italian book as I am ;)

The guy man on there spends quite a long time stressing this.

"I am going to buy it" in Italian would literally mean "I am on my way to the shops to buy it".

indeed I was...should do it again...only I am doing French and Spanish..usually a couple of weeks before a holiday.

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I am such a dolent man,

I eptly work each day;

My acts are all becilic,

I've just ane things to say.

My nerves are strung, my hair is kempt,

I'm gusting and I'm span:

I look with dain on everyone

And am a pudent man.

I travel cognito and make

A delible impression:

I overcome a slight chalance,

With gruntled self-possesion.

My, dignation would be great

If I should digent be:

I trust my vagance will bring

An astrous life for me.

- J. H. Parker.

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I spent yesterday trying to explain to some Malaysian students what the word "do" means and why the phrase "Why you laugh?" should be "Why do you laugh?"

Not easy.

Never mind the finer point of when it should be, 'Why are you laughing?'

English can be so complicated for learners. I well remember my Arabic speaking beginners having so much trouble with the simple past. Answers to 'What did you do last Friday?' ( their Sunday) would at first include e.g. 'I did was go my village.' All those dids and dos did their poor heads in.

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German is probably the only language in which a grammatically correct sentence can contain the same word repeated six times:

"Wenn hinter Fliegen Fliegen fliegen, fliegen Fliegen Fliegen nach."

In English: "When flies fly behind flies, flies fly after flies."

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Never mind the finer point of when it should be, 'Why are you laughing?'

English can be so complicated for learners. I well remember my Arabic speaking beginners having so much trouble with the simple past. Answers to 'What did you do last Friday?' ( their Sunday) would at first include e.g. 'I did was go my village.' All those dids and dos did their poor heads in.

Gosh, have you been teaching Johnny Foreigner? :huh:

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German is probably the only language in which a grammatically correct sentence can contain the same word repeated six times:

"Wenn hinter Fliegen Fliegen fliegen, fliegen Fliegen Fliegen nach."

In English: "When flies fly behind flies, flies fly after flies."

Obviously not originating in the DDR!

I learned a lot about grammar from doing a German O level. More than I ever learned in English classes.

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Don't tell my wife about this thread. You'll never get away. She has a PhD in this sort of stuff. Writes scholarly papers about dead languages. Lectures about spelling etc. Has theories about Ugric and Finnish. Or something. A cunning linguist, you may say.

When I met her she was a professional dancer!

She sounds interesting. Could be my best friend!

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