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Getting Stuck - Has It Really Happened?

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-25827175

It sounds like a scene from a trashy sex comedy. But stories of getting stuck during sex have been with us for centuries - and some of them might just be true.

An emergency trip to hospital is never pleasant, but it's certainly not something you would want to happen after sex.

"It's not the most romantic ending a couple can imagine," says Dr Aristomenis Exadaktylos, author of a study of 11 years of admissions to his hospital in Bern, Switzerland.

He and his co-authors found plenty of patients who had experienced problems after sex - migraines, heart problems, even amnesia. But asked on the BBC's Health Check radio programme if he had come across a case of the woman's vagina clamping on to the man's *****, he said "No" - and added that the idea was probably an urban myth.

..

In his 1908 book The Sexual Life of our Time, Iwan Bloch recounted another case of ***** captivus following on from a furtive meeting, this time in a quiet corner of the docks in Bremen, Germany. The woman underwent an "involuntary spasm", the man - a dock labourer - became trapped, and a great crowd gathered to watch. Eventually the couple were carted off to a hospital, chloroform was administered to the woman and they were freed.

In a 1933 manual of gynaecology, the author Walter Stoeckel speculated that ***** captivus only affected couples engaged in illicit sex, the fear of detection presumably contributing to the force of the woman's muscular spasm.

This opinion is no longer held by experts, but the narrative of a clandestine meeting followed by public humiliation continues. Recent media reports of ***** captivus - in Kenya, Malawi, Zimbabwe and the Philippines - all concern adulterous couples.

The joy of being taken to hospital together knowing full well everyone in A&E will be talking about it for weeks if not years to come. You be the little anecdote to open up a lecture and get everyone laughing.

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it happens with dogs only because of the "knot" in the canine pen1s which grows (sometimes to the size of a orange!) prior to climax.

(1) How do you know that!

(2) Who on earth researched canine copulation to find it out!

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From Tom Sharpe's The Throwback.

The Ballad of Pr ick 'Em Dry

I gan noo wha ma organs gan

When oft I lay abed So rither hang me upside doon

Than by ma empty head.

I should ha' knoon 'twas never Fleur

That smelt so mooch of sweat For she was iver sweet and pure

And iver her purse was wet.

But old Sir Oswald allus stank

Of horse and hound and dung And when I chose to breech his rank

Was barrel to my bung.

So hang me noo fra' Elsdon Tree

And draw ma innards out That all the warld around may see

What I have done without.

But ere ye come to draw ma heart

Na do it all so quick But prise the ar se of Oswald 'part

And bring me back ma pr ick.

So pr ick 'em wet or pr ick 'em dry

'Tis all the same to me I canna wait for him to die

Afore I have a pee.

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From Tom Sharpe's The Throwback.

The Ballad of ***** 'Em Dry

I gan noo wha ma organs gan

When oft I lay abed So rither hang me upside doon

Than by ma empty head.

I should ha' knoon 'twas never Fleur

That smelt so mooch of sweat For she was iver sweet and pure

And iver her purse was wet.

But old Sir Oswald allus stank

Of horse and hound and dung And when I chose to breech his rank

Was barrel to my bung.

So hang me noo fra' Elsdon Tree

And draw ma innards out That all the warld around may see

What I have done without.

But ere ye come to draw ma heart

Na do it all so quick But prise the **** of Oswald 'part

And bring me back ma *****.

So ***** 'em wet or ***** 'em dry

'Tis all the same to me I canna wait for him to die

Afore I have a pee.

I can't work out all the asterisks.

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