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Banker's Advent Calencar

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I'd put some chocolates in it.

Mr. Milton, the owner of the Whizzo Chocolate Company (Terry Jones) is approached by two members of the Hygiene Squad, Inspector Praline (John Cleese) and Superintendent Parrot (Graham Chapman), who confront him about the odd flavours that are used in the Whizzo Quality Assortment, accusing him of violating the Trade Descriptions Act through inadequate descriptions of his products, like for instance, his Crunchy Frog. It consists of an entire frog that has been coated with chocolate. Mr. Milton describes the sweetmeat as using only the finest baby frogs, which are dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest-quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose. The bones are left in deliberately due to circular reasoning: "If we took the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?"

Other questionable flavours include Ram's Bladder Cup (made from fresh Cornish Ram's bladder, emptied, steamed, seasoned with sesame seeds, whipped into a fondue, and garnished with lark's vomit), Cockroach Cluster, Anthrax Ripple, and Spring Surprise (chocolate wrapped around two stainless steel bolts that, upon the melting of the chocolate, spring outward and pierce straight through both of the victim's cheeks). At the end of the scene Milton is arrested, and the Superintendent, who has been vomiting during the entire conversation (it is stated that he ate a Crunchy Frog and implied that he tried some of the others), faces the camera and warns the public to take more care when purchasing their sweeties.

A later sketch in the same episode features a North American Indian, played in stereotypical fashion by Eric Idle, eating a Crunchy Frog and indicating approval.


Edited by 1929crash

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No self respecting banker would be interested in this. Perhaps their under-5 offspring might consider these amounts amusingly small pocket money supplements.

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