Jump to content
House Price Crash Forum

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Ologhai Jones

Goose Fitted With Artificial Beak

Recommended Posts

BBC News: West Yorkshire goose fitted with an artificial beak.

Collectively, human behaviour doesn't make sense (at least not always).

We go to a lot of trouble to give a goose an artificial beak while eating other geese by the, well... thousands at least I would imagine.

Humans are clearly confused.

As a nation, we're getting too soft.

I just hope that it wasn't done on the NHS!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This guy is visiting a farm, and he sees a pig with a wooden leg, and so he asks the farmer, what's with the pig, and the farmer say "ooh, that's a wonderful pig that one, I could tell you some stories about him, there was this time that there was a fire in the stables, and all the horses were trapped..."

Sorry, can't do any more, I don't know how to do a farmer's accent in writing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FFS.

I'd have a cheaper solution that would have involved Christmas dinner.

Mind you I imagine the Asian cultures that eat dogs would find people spending money on expensive vetinary operations on their pets absurd as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"An' then there were that time that the children were playin' by the river bank, an' we didn't even know where they were, an' if it 'adn't been for that pig, well Lord 'elp us..."

God, it's just so embarrassing trying to do accents. I'm useless at them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"ARRRR, an then thar was the Winter of '68, an we hadna twee candles te rub tegether, an the avaalanch had blocked the pass, an if th' pig hadna known the route through the mountains to t' coal mine, we'd all be frozen to death, BY GUM..."

I think I'm getting the hang of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"I'll tell you why that pig 'as an wooden leg. In '72, I think it was, the brakeman of the Olympic bobsleigh team got sick, and of course the pig got called in at the last minute, although he was out of practice of course, what with it being harvest season, an hem being the only one who nyew how to drive that newfangled tractor, ARRRRRR"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Then of course, we practically lost the farm in the property crash, and someone had to go and renegotiate our mortgage with the Serbian Mafia, well, we knew it would be dangerous for the pig, but he was the only one who spoke Serbian, and a smattering of Croatian of course, you know, just to get by, blend in if necessary. And he still had a few old contacts there of course. From the war, you know. Chetniks I believe. He got some sort of gong for it, but he doesn't like to talk about it...."

Oops, forgot to do the accent. ARRRRRRRRRR.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Then of course, we practically lost the farm in the property crash, and someone had to go and renegotiate our mortgage with the Serbian Mafia, well, we knew it would be dangerous for the pig, but he was the only one who spoke Serbian, and a smattering of Croatian of course, you know, just to get by, blend in if necessary. And he still had a few old contacts there of course. From the war, you know. Chetniks I believe. He got some sort of gong for it, but he doesn't like to talk about it...."

Oops, forgot to do the accent. ARRRRRRRRRR.

Wow, You don't often get a pig as good as that!!!

But, please, please, tell me, ooh ooh, i need to know, ooh ooh, why has it got a wooden leg?

PS. You're doing a great job of ignoring me. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I present this further evidence m'lud....

Row over US mobile phone 'cockroach backpack' app

"A US company that has developed an "electronic backpack" that fits onto a cockroach allowing the its movements to be controlled by a mobile phone app"

WTF.....surely THE most mental and depraved 'toy' ever concieved! just wow. just imagine little jonnys face as he unwraps that bad boy on Christmas morning - lol.

_70363991_70363990.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I present this further evidence m'lud....

Row over US mobile phone 'cockroach backpack' app

"A US company that has developed an "electronic backpack" that fits onto a cockroach allowing the its movements to be controlled by a mobile phone app"

WTF.....surely THE most mental and depraved 'toy' ever concieved! just wow. just imagine little jonnys face as he unwraps that bad boy on Christmas morning - lol.

_70363991_70363990.jpg

Calm down.

That roach is using it's ASIC to mine Bitcoins as we speak.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I present this further evidence m'lud....

Row over US mobile phone 'cockroach backpack' app

"A US company that has developed an "electronic backpack" that fits onto a cockroach allowing the its movements to be controlled by a mobile phone app"

WTF.....surely THE most mental and depraved 'toy' ever concieved! just wow. just imagine little jonnys face as he unwraps that bad boy on Christmas morning - lol.

_70363991_70363990.jpg

I was really torn on this one when I first came across it. Personally, I try to avoid killing other creatures if they aren't directly harming me (eg trying to bite me), even roaches and slugs - unless in plague like proportions. But I suspect the average person would have zero qualms about stamping on either.

It's the invasive surgery which is most off-putting. I reckon most kids would love a toy which involved putting a headset on Fido and letting them control him from their phone.

Maybe a bit of scientific experimentation might lead to greater respect for the living world. And if you ever do end up becoming a scientist working in some fields, you'll be expected to do far worse to sentient creatures.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I reckon most kids would love a toy which involved putting a headset on Fido and letting them control him from their phone.

Now thats a good idea... :lol:

Back to the OP; if i had the task of making a replacement beak for a goose, I'd get creative with fibreglass. Something shaped like a garden rake perhaps, or a snorkel.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I present this further evidence m'lud....

Row over US mobile phone 'cockroach backpack' app

"A US company that has developed an "electronic backpack" that fits onto a cockroach allowing the its movements to be controlled by a mobile phone app"

WTF.....surely THE most mental and depraved 'toy' ever concieved! just wow. just imagine little jonnys face as he unwraps that bad boy on Christmas morning - lol.

_70363991_70363990.jpg

Would that work with estate agents ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • The Prime Minister stated that there were three Brexit options available to the UK:   215 members have voted

    1. 1. Which of the Prime Minister's options would you choose?


      • Leave with the negotiated deal
      • Remain
      • Leave with no deal

    Please sign in or register to vote in this poll. View topic


×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.