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shindigger

A Slagging Off On Facebook

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Hullo,

I have recently sacked the drummer from my band for repeated no shows and let downs.

We go back a long long way and hes taken it very badly.

In addition to sending me some fairly ripe texts, he's also taken to Facebook to give me a bit of a monstering, and has been telling some real porkers about the circumstances surrounding his departure.

Dont get me wrong, i'm not trying to crack on that this is like Oasis splitting up, its just a personal matter.

In addition to this, my ex( to whom he is very very close) has joined in the fun and has been calling me all the names under the sun on there.

I'm a very contented non Facebooker,i was made aware of this activity by a friend.

Are there any means of recourse, or a way of reporting these ghouls?

Cheers.

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Hullo,

I have recently sacked the drummer from my band for repeated no shows and let downs.

We go back a long long way and hes taken it very badly.

In addition to sending me some fairly ripe texts, he's also taken to Facebook to give me a bit of a monstering, and has been telling some real porkers about the circumstances surrounding his departure.

Dont get me wrong, i'm not trying to crack on that this is like Oasis splitting up, its just a personal matter.

In addition to this, my ex( to whom he is very very close) has joined in the fun and has been calling me all the names under the sun on there.

I'm a very contented non Facebooker,i was made aware of this activity by a friend. I

Are there any means of recourse, or a way of reporting these ghouls?

Cheers.

Like you, there are many people who do not live on Facebook - so does the Facebook parallel Universe matter ?

From what you say, I suspect it reads like vitriol. Most people will know there are two sides to every story and that it's not always necessary to put both sides.

It's raining at the moment - but the sun is forecast to be out soon

Get another, better drummer and become even more famous

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Like you, there are many people who do not live on Facebook - so does the Facebook parallel Universe matter ?

From what you say, I suspect it reads like vitriol. Most people will know there are two sides to every story and that it's not always necessary to put both sides.

It's raining at the moment - but the sun is forecast to be out soon

Thanks, i completely agree actually.

The people that matter know the truth, and what he's like.

But id still like to put the wind up them both...

Being "more famous" should be manageable :lol:

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Thanks, i completely agree actually.

The people that matter know the truth, and what he's like.

But id still like to put the wind up them both...

You will now have seen my edited comment

"get another, better drummer and become even more famous"

Is the best response

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I came off FB about 3 months ago. Really quite amazed at how little i miss it. Really not at all and i used to be on it all the time.

There is however the issue that you never really can be off FB - if your friends and family are on it.

They won't be able to link an actual FB page to you. But they can put photos up, tag people in locations etc.

Your name can still be present - and as you probably are in the same circle of people - lots of people can know things you are up to by looking on FB - even if you are not actually on it yourself.

And the killer point is there is no way to check up on this unless you join up to the thing !!

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Delete them off your facebook account so you don't have to see them again on there, or close your FB account.

I don't have an account. I closed it 2/3 years ago.

Somebody forwarded me some screen grabs.

I told them to expect lots of activity.

He did not make them wait long.

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I came off FB about 3 months ago. Really quite amazed at how little i miss it. Really not at all and i used to be on it all the time.

There is however the issue that you never really can be off FB - if your friends and family are on it.

They won't be able to link an actual FB page to you. But they can put photos up, tag people in locations etc.

Your name can still be present - and as you probably are in the same circle of people - lots of people can know things you are up to by looking on FB - even if you are not actually on it yourself.

And the killer point is there is no way to check up on this unless you join up to the thing !!

[/b

Yes indeed. Thats why i upped and left. In the wrong hands FB is a vile stinking cesspit.

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Never done the book of trouble ,but i'm constantly amazed how it can turn mature adults into what i can only describe as squabbling 10 year olds

As for the OP do not respond and water of a ducks back, they will end up looking like the t""""ts

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If it's libellous get the screen grabs and sue them.

Assuming it's not (it doesn't sound like it) then write up a short definitive summary of why he was sacked and note that people shouldn't believe what those two are saying, and ask a friend on facebook to post it on your behalf.

Don't enter into a debate on it or rejoin, let that statement stand alone.

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I don't have an account. I closed it 2/3 years ago.

Somebody forwarded me some screen grabs.

I told them to expect lots of activity.

He did not make them wait long.

If there's anything offensive then you can report them for that.

Trying to think what people have been banned for

http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/story/18941691/five-ways-to-get-banned-from-facebook

Suggests that telling facebook they have fake names or two accounts .. (Set up a second or third account for them? Repost their pics. Perhaps not from your own house though)

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If it's libellous get the screen grabs and sue them.

Assuming it's not (it doesn't sound like it) then write up a short definitive summary of why he was sacked and note that people shouldn't believe what those two are saying, and ask a friend on facebook to post it on your behalf.

Don't enter into a debate on it or rejoin, let that statement stand alone.

Yes,

I've already put up a short concise statement on a Youtube page that has one of our tunes on it

From the few pages i saw, i wouldnt say it was libellous either. Just rather hurtful BS.

I don't plan on going near FB again as long as i live.

Squabbling ten year olds is right.

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If there's anything offensive then you can report them for that.

Trying to think what people have been banned for

http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/story/18941691/five-ways-to-get-banned-from-facebook

Suggests that telling facebook they have fake names or two accounts .. (Set up a second or third account for them? Repost their pics. Perhaps not from your own house though)

Thanks.

I did see a page where you can report without having an account. I'm still mulling that.

If the BS continues, then i will start the process off.

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Sell the story to the Daily Mail. Free publicity for the band and public humiliation for the drummer.

And a free advert for a new drummer to boot :D

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Personally, I wouldn't waste time on replying.

Use your annoyance to focus your energies on doing better as a band without 'them', which will be satisfying 'revenge' of itself, ultimately.

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IMO worrying about what people are saying on facebook is similar to worrying about what people say about you in the pub when you're not there. When you are there correct it and call them out.

I know people in two large villages / small towns (not sure what the dividing line is) and the life there sounds like a cross between being in the school playground and being on Eastenders. Both have two to three pubs and people will regularly refuse to go to one for months "because so and so drinks there". There are fights, LOTS of drugs including Class A, people have their tyres slashed because of saying something bad about somebody else, disputes boil on for years and Facebook means people can keep the rows going all day or start them off afresh.

These are, incidentally, places that are nice to visit and where people stay on holiday, I wasn't looking at living in either place but prior to knowing what they were like I wouldn't have particularly objected either. And it's probably fine as long as you don't get that involved and start taking sides in the various disputes. They don't have particular crime problems (bar the drugs and the odd fight) I expect it's worse in the rough-looking villages.

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Guest eight

Personally, I wouldn't waste time on replying.

Use your annoyance to focus your energies on doing better as a band without 'them', which will be satisfying 'revenge' of itself, ultimately.

Very smart. I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but I've barely ever given a toss about anybody else's opinion about anything. Maybe I'm wired up wrong or missing something, or perhaps some kind of psycopath, but I have to say it's bliss!

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Guest eight

These are, incidentally, places that are nice to visit and where people stay on holiday, I wasn't looking at living in either place but prior to knowing what they were like I wouldn't have particularly objected either. And it's probably fine as long as you don't get that involved and start taking sides in the various disputes. They don't have particular crime problems (bar the drugs and the odd fight) I expect it's worse in the rough-looking villages.

The village where my daughter goes to school is like that; fortunately we don't live there!

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Even without facebook, this stuff goes on all the time...your ex would be talking to her friends, your ex drummer would be talking to your ex, the other side of the sad story would have been out there, and the person who dobbed them in to you would have told you about the rumours to your face.

You see this every day if you watch Jeremy Kyle.

There is nothing you can do except rise above it....as man has done for millenia,

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Very smart. I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but I've barely ever given a toss about anybody else's opinion about anything. Maybe I'm wired up wrong or missing something, or perhaps some kind of psycopath, but I have to say it's bliss!

Resolution :P

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Get them on the Jeremy Kyle show to have it all out. If there's any feasible way to include a DNA test, that would be ideal :)

Failing that, swallow your pride and let it go, with or without a formal statement.

IMO facebook is just part of the "look at me", attention-grabbing culture we all have to live in. It can attract sick people and make fairly normal folks pretty sick too. People get pulled in to saying and doing all sorts of things to get that dopamine rush when someone 'likes' what they have to say. Even abuse and vitriol is a reaction - it let's them know that someone is thinking about them.

If you dance like a monkey, you're giving them exactly what they want. Self Esteem would dictate (for me) staying completely out of it.

P

I'm pleased to say that thus far, other than the brief paragraph or 2 on Youtube, i've not been in touch directly with either of them.

I am effing fuming though.

Ive also got a strong feeling he's going to be making more trouble for me as the month rolls on.

PS. I like your summary of FB. Spot on for me.

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