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bendy

Unwritten Rules

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When walking or cycling on a path even though it's not law, follow the rules of the road and stick to the left.

Never cook beans in the microwave, it leaves watery slop.

?

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No talking in a lift unless you know everyone in the lift

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When someone is in the passenger seat of the car who has had crashes/driven into bollards etc. criticises your impeccable flawless record driving, be sure to remind said complainer of their past erratics.

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When arguing with a stupid person, be sure he or she isn't doing the same.

Never make eye contact with other people in London as they are invariably armed with a knife.

Never buy someone a book. They may already have one.

When a colleague announces that they are pregnant, never ask "Was it expected?"

If someone asks you how old you think they are, subtract at least five years from the number you have in your head before speaking the answer.

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Surely the above are all written rules now.

My list is below:

1) ....................................................... :unsure:

2) ...................................... :ph34r:

3) ............................................................................................ :lol:

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Never ask if someone is pregnant unless you already know they are.

Good advice and a lesson I had to learn the hard way, unfortunately.

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Good advice and a lesson I had to learn the hard way, unfortunately.

Ditto - have asked a few ladies how many months pregnant they are only to get a angry look or them running off to the kebab shop in tears.

Here's a good one - don't try and tell English footie fans that they are in denial and totally deluded about their chances of winning the world cup. This occurs every four years.

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How to turn a Celt red: ask them when was the last time they went to the World Cup and if they'll be getting behind England again.

And when they say 'we're only a small country', ask them if they know the population of Bosnia Herzegovena B) )

Sorry, have no idea what you are talking about. Still celebrating the rugby championship... Oh, and that Welsh team that beat the Aussies earlier this year.

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I bet you're red. :P

It was so funny this morning listening to Fivelive. The usual pundits tried to contain their usual "We're going to win the world cup by just turning up" stuff by saying that England needs to be realistic, just go to Brazil and enjoy it, have some fun.... but they couldn't help themselves.

They quickly moved on to convincing themselves that Rooney is amongst the great and by the end of the programme the world cup was a foregone conclusion - no point in holding the competition, just give England the cup now.

Why oh why do you beat yourselves up like this every 2 years? Is it some masochistic public schoolboy thing deep in the genes? Very amusing.

I look forward to the next 12 months. Hopefully one of the BBC pundits will get so excited that he or she will explode on air. :lol:

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No talking in a lift unless you know everyone in the lift

Opposite in Spain - there the etiquette is to say "Hola!" when you get in, even if you don't know anyone.

Also veer to the right when walking on the pavement - but this doesn't always work, the same way you end up with space-hoggers in the UK.

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When walking or cycling on a path even though it's not law, follow the rules of the road and stick to the left.

Never cook beans in the microwave, it leaves watery slop.

?

I always walk on the right to face the oncoming traffic. ;)

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Opposite in Spain - there the etiquette is to say "Hola!" when you get in, even if you don't know anyone.

Also veer to the right when walking on the pavement - but this doesn't always work, the same way you end up with space-hoggers in the UK.

How about 'veer away from the oncoming person' ... seems most sensible to me. ;)

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Never talk about the Fart Club.

One of us is Tyler Durden, but I'm not telling you which!

Wasn't there posting under that name? I's probably him, then!

Rule 1

Never insult a man's car, even if it's crap! You can be as rude as you like to him, and his wife though. :huh:

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