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The Masked Tulip

What Is Going On With Grapes?

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Earlier in the year grapes shot up to about £4 a punnet in the chain supermarkets. Now, in Tesco a punnet of red grapes is down to £1 and in Sainsburys a punnet of black ones are £1.50 (slighty bigger punnet in latter.)

But there is no flavour. None. Is this why the price has crashed?

One or two black ones I just ate had a wonderful black grape flavour but the majority were just devoid of any flavour at all.

What is going on with grapes? Is this indicative of the end of the world? Should I sell my grape stocks?

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Earlier in the year grapes shot up to about £4 a punnet in the chain supermarkets. Now, in Tesco a punnet of red grapes is down to £1 and in Sainsburys a punnet of black ones are £1.50 (slighty bigger punnet in latter.)

But there is no flavour. None. Is this why the price has crashed?

One or two black ones I just ate had a wonderful black grape flavour but the majority were just devoid of any flavour at all.

What is going on with grapes? Is this indicative of the end of the world? Should I sell my grape stocks?

Gentlemen, enjoy the moment. A chat up script of the expert PUA has just been shared with us.

Write it down, memorize it, then hang about by the grapes in your local supermarket tonight ready to impress any hovering woman with your patter :P

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Gentlemen, enjoy the moment. A chat up script of the expert PUA has just been shared with us.

Write it down, memorize it, then hang about by the grapes in your local supermarket tonight ready to impress any hovering woman with your patter :P

:lol::lol::lol:

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Gentlemen, enjoy the moment. A chat up script of the expert PUA has just been shared with us.

Write it down, memorize it, then hang about by the grapes in your local supermarket tonight ready to impress any hovering woman with your patter :P

N.B Do NOT use this as first date material. It should only be used in a pre-date scenario to secure the date.

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N.B Do NOT use this as first date material. It should only be used in a pre-date scenario to secure the date.

See, you are a disaster. Clearly this is above you. We are talking grapes here and not dates :P

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What is going on with grapes? Is this indicative of the end of the world? Should I sell my grape stocks?

Two possible explanations come to mind...

- Grapes are in season and you've been snacking on some that were picked just a little bit too early

or

- They are being subsidised and laced with fluoride by the NWO

Frankly, it's a toss up between the two.

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That is almost Orwellian. Crusty rolls good, Rhys-Davies quotes from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" baaaaaad.

I am perfecting my super-market chat up techniques here. You won't be laughing when I make my millions from book, blog and personal one to one sessions.

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Two possible explanations come to mind...

- Grapes are in season and you've been snacking on some that were picked just a little bit too early

or

- They are being subsidised and laced with fluoride by the NWO

Frankly, it's a toss up between the two.

I am thinking it is the latter. The taste is nothing but my teeth are glistening.

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I am perfecting my super-market chat up techniques here. You won't be laughing when I make my millions from book, blog and personal one to one sessions.

You may laugh, but you could perhaps consider writing a guide to internet dating.

After all, you spent a while trying to put some strange woman straight on the subject the other night, and you're a fairly coherent writer.

IRRO might be able to help you get instalments published in the DM, you could be in like Flynn.

Joe will write the chapter of what not to do. :lol:

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You may laugh, but you could perhaps consider writing a guide to internet dating.

After all, you spent a while trying to put some strange woman straight on the subject the other night, and you're a fairly coherent writer.

IRRO might be able to help you get instalments published in the DM, you could be in like Flynn.

Joe will write the chapter of what not to do. :lol:

:lol::lol::lol:

Edit:

Joking aside, a journalist friend of mine suggested I do this very thing some months back.

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Here's one for you. Wait for a babe to start considering the grapes and smoothely as you like, waddle up and ask her if she'd like you to peel them for her in your creepiest voice possible. Oh I recommend you practice your eye twinkle in the mirror before you go. Oh and grow a moustache so you can twiddle it.

Yes, every gentleman should act like Vincent Price! :lol:

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Coming back to grapes and their taste.

Have just come back from Andalucia and whilst there we bought some grapes....I was very surprised they had seeds in them. I can't remember the last time I had seeds in grapes. And truth be told, I had a conversation with my wife on this matter at the time and we conjectured whether seedless varieties were in fact more bland than the 'original' varieties to be found in wine making regions.I can report that we did not settle upon a definitive conclusion.

Google says that seeded grapes taste better.

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MT - call your PUA supermarket book:

"Grape Expectations, or, How to Spread your Seeds"

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I was thinking more Terry Thomas. Do a google of his image and it looks ideal for HAM's suggestion.

The one time I recall Terry coming up against Vincent, Vincent won...

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Wouldn't you need specific editions for Tesco and Sainsbury's?

Nah, just Sainsburys and M&S as single types seem to go to those supermarkets. Tesco, Morrisons, Co-Op are very much families. Lidl has a growing singleton crowd and Aldi seems to be families.

Note: This is not scientific research and probably best not to bet your life on it.

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Have you tried the blackcurrant Strongbow? Its delish.

I didn't know you could buy blackcurrant Strongbow :lol:

Why not go the whole hog and start flogging pre-mixed purple nasties?

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