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How Does A Polyamorous Relationship Between Four People Work?

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23726120

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Imagine one house, with four people, but five couples. How does it work, asks Jo Fidgen.

Charlie is talking excitedly about a first date she went on the night before.

Next to her on the sofa is her husband of six years, Tom. And on the other side of him is Sarah, who's been in a relationship with Tom for the last five years. Sarah's fiance, Chris, is in the kitchen making a cup of tea.

The two women are also in a full-blown relationship, while the two men are just good friends. Together, they make a polyamorous family and share a house in Sheffield.

"We're planning to grow old together," says Charlie.

Polyamory is the practice of having simultaneous intimate relationships with more than one person at a time, with the knowledge and consent of all partners. The term entered the Oxford English Dictionary only in 2006, and such relationships are rare enough that Tom finds himself having to account for his personal situation time and time again.

"The number of conversations I've had with peers where I've started to explain it and they've got as far as, 'so, you all cheat on each other' and not been able to get past that. I've said no, everybody's cool with it, everybody knows what's happening, no one's deceiving each other."

If any of the four want to get involved with someone else, they have to run it by the others - all of whom have a veto.

Just think how high house prices can go if this becomes the trend?

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3 of them appear to be men. So 3 men and one woman?

this needs a diagram so it can all be laid out.

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Only three?

'Four people, five couples'. Mathematically, there could be six couples. Don't the men fancy each other? What is wrong? We should be told.

And there could also be four threesomes, and one foursome. These amateurs are really doing a half-assed job of polyamoury.

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My first thought was - is this what happens as a result of cramped overcrowded housing, but when you think about it this arrangement means they need 3 bedrooms between the four of them (unless the two blokes share a bed when the girls are gettin it on)

So compared to 3 conventional couples they need 50% more bedroom space, is UK housing policy taking this huge rise in demand into account???

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'Four people, five couples'. Mathematically, there could be six couples. Don't the men fancy each other? What is wrong? We should be told.

Clearly a homophobic household. The diversity officer should be round sharpish to re-educate them on how a modern polyamorous family should behave.

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'Four people, five couples'. Mathematically, there could be six couples. Don't the men fancy each other? What is wrong? We should be told.

And there could also be four threesomes, and one foursome. These amateurs are really doing a half-assed job of polyamoury.

You forgot the four onesomes. Surely you're not suggesting they don't practice self-love?

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My first thought was - is this what happens as a result of cramped overcrowded housing, but when you think about it this arrangement means they need 3 bedrooms between the four of them (unless the two blokes share a bed when the girls are gettin it on)

So compared to 3 conventional couples they need 50% more bedroom space, is UK housing policy taking this huge rise in demand into account???

Surely as they're so cool with each other's inter-relations they just need 50% more bed space, not quite the same thing. Although I doubt if the men are too bothered about watching those girls get it on.

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Do they book in days off?

From what I can see they book up their entire life into segments including 'empty time' which is then also filled up with other stuff.

I don't know how they manage it - I like lots of time to myself, peace and quiet, able to decide what I want to do according to how the mood takes me, not having to fit into a schedule like that.

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From what I can see they book up their entire life into segments including 'empty time' which is then also filled up with other stuff.

I don't know how they manage it - I like lots of time to myself, peace and quiet, able to decide what I want to do according to how the mood takes me, not having to fit into a schedule like that.

On reading your other comments it appears there is no spontaneity in what they are doing it's all pre-booked and doesn't sound like fun. It sounds like hard work. Is all the sex time pre-arranged as well?

Spit Roast - Monday

DP - Tuesday

Church - Weds

Spin the wheel - Thurs

???

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I think this would be possible with a chilled-out kind of mate and some chilled-out women, though it might get a bit too complicated if children were involved.

However he would end up having all the sxe if they looked like that, I can't do fat munters very easily.

Are chilled-out women always fat?

I suspect nearly always so.

That question is almost worthy of a thread......

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On reading your other comments it appears there is no spontaneity in what they are doing it's all pre-booked and doesn't sound like fun. It sounds like hard work. Is all the sex time pre-arranged as well?

Spit Roast - Monday

DP - Tuesday

Church - Weds

Spin the wheel - Thurs

???

Yeah as far as I can tell it's all prebooked... I've never asked if they actually book the sex in as well - but I would assume that time with boyfriend A would include whatever stuff she does with boyfriend A...

I think some people have different limits on what they do with different people - I don't know really as I don't want to be really nosey about sex .. but I would assume that there is sex. I think one has had boyfriends where she's not though.. so perhaps there are different levels of relationship.

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Church ie they actually go to Church.

And spin the wheel, ie pick who goes with who pot luck evening for a bit of randomness.

Ok, I thought for a moment I hadn't been sufficiently attentive when reading about the things these degenerates get up to in the Daily Mail. As a matter of fact it would be useful if the Mail would provide diagrams so that we know what to steer clear of.

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@Sarah

How does they practice safe sex? Is unprotected sex just between the number 1 partner and condoms with everyone else or once your approved is all the sex unprotected?

They must have rules in place for this.

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