Nigella Lawson Attacked By Husband Charles Saatchi In Public

[ccc]

Still photos tell a far smaller story than a video of the same thing.

I would have to see the actual event properly to make up my mind.

Simply saying no decent man would raise their hands is a get out clause for many females imo.

There are certain situations where blokes (or burds for that matter) have little choice in the matter.

[stormymonday_2011]

As ever, Spiked! nail it:

http://www.spiked-online.com/site/article/13714/

If you want to keep your marital affairs 'private' and away from the prying eyes of the media etc then it is probably not a good idea to choke your spouse in a public place such as a restaurant.

As for the author's argument that officialdom has no role in mediating private relationships obviously he has never got married, attended a family court, been through a divorce or engaged in the myriad other relationship activities where the state or other public bodies are involved. All human relationships are played out at least partly in public whether we like it or not.

[sleepwello'nights]

A hug can be... Presumably any physical contact can be.

"An assault is any act which intentionally - or possibly recklessly - causes another person to apprehend immediate and unlawful personal violence."

It need not involve any physical contact. If there is physical contact then another offence is committed, battery or actual bodily harm.

[Rave]

Not sure about that, saatchi choking his wife in public,

He has his hand on her neck. At no point (as far as I can see) does she appear to try and pull away, or fight him off, which would be my instinctive reaction to a chocking attempt.

over dinner to "emphasise a point" tells me 1, hes a *****. 2. hes done this before and will do it again.

Maybe, maybe not. I rather fancy that the woman who has been married to him for ten years is in a better position to judge than you are.

You either think its acceptable to abuse your wife or you do not, its apparent which camp he is in. Sure couples fight, but I would never, raise my hand to my wife. No matter how annoying she is and I reckon most decent chaps are the same.

Lucky you to have such moral certitude- and lucky you that your wife is not like mine. I'm not proud of it, but on a couple of occasions I've grabbed both my wife's wrists and pushed her down onto the sofa, thereby assserting my physical superiority over her. But I did it because I'd had enough of being shoved and slapped by her in her drunk and depressive rage. The police were not involved thankfully, and we're still married years later.

In a nutshell, saatchi is dangerous to women,

Frankly that is a ludicrous inference to draw from a sequence of nine pictures presented with little or no context in a Sunday newspaper. It is, to play devil's advocate, entirely possible that, just before the first pic was taken, NL had leant across the table and delivered a stinging slap to CS's face (again for the skim readers, just playing devil's advocate).

To be fair, I'm on a bit of a sticky wicket here, because I'm vehemently against any Leveson-esque regulation of the press, and so I reluctantly concede that the Sunday People was within its rights to publish the pics. But the correct response to them from anyone who values the freedom of individuals to make their own choices is to gawp, cringe, gossip, and then leave the matter of what actually happens going forward to the two people involved. NL may see it as a deal breaker in their relationship, but equally she may not.

I guess what thoroughly irritates me is this idea that the commentariat need to get involved on NL's behalf. Never mind that she got over the devastation of losing her husband (and father of her kids) tragically young; never mind that despite such a blow she's made an admirable career for herself off the back of her cooking skills and her winning personality (and fine, her sex appeal)...no, now she's a tragic woman; a victim.

From what I know of her (I listen to a lot of Radio 4 on and off, including Women's Hour) my instinctive guess is that she must be hating it.

As I say I've been on the receiving end of violence from my wife and I've doled a little force out in return. That was years ago, thankfully; we're still reasonably happily married, and neither of us lives in any kind of fear of the other.

[Rave]

If you want to keep your marital affairs 'private' and away from the prying eyes of the media etc then it is probably not a good idea to choke your spouse in a public place such as a restaurant.

Allegedly.

As for the author's argument that officialdom has no role in mediating private relationships obviously he has never got married, attended a family court, been through a divorce or engaged in the myriad other relationship activities where the state or other public bodies are involved. All human relationships are played out at least partly in public whether we like it or not.

I disagree. My wife and I made a conscious decision to engage with the state when we got married. I daresay that legal status has kept us together through aforementioned nasty rows, to the benefit of us both- easier to walk away when you're not married, but neither of us would have wanted that, however angry we were at the time.

If kids are involved, yes the state may need to get involved to safeguard them. But my wife and I are childless; NL and CS have children from former marriages but none together. I therefore fail to see any justification for any interference in their relationship.

[cica]

As ever, Spiked! nail it:

http://www.spiked-online.com/site/article/13714/

I like contrarianism but it has its place. Spiked will just on any fad bandwagon just to get hits. They are everything they claim to be against.

[winkie]

If you want to keep your marital affairs 'private' and away from the prying eyes of the media etc then it is probably not a good idea to choke your spouse in a public place such as a restaurant.

As for the author's argument that officialdom has no role in mediating private relationships obviously he has never got married, attended a family court, been through a divorce or engaged in the myriad other relationship activities where the state or other public bodies are involved. All human relationships are played out at least partly in public whether we like it or not.

Agree with you....also from the behaviour it looks like that was not the first time it has happened, she looked like she was trying to pacify and calm him down knowing that he has a temper, a short fuse and could create a bigger scene a more embarrassing episode in a very public place......by his actions he is demonstrating that he has little respect for her and properly even less for himself.

[Bruce Banner]

....also from the behaviour it looks like that was not the first time it has happened, she looked like she was trying to pacify and calm him down knowing that he has a temper, a short fuse and could create a bigger scene a more embarrassing episode in a very public place......by his actions he is demonstrating that he has little respect for her and properly even less for himself.

I don't disagree with any of that but surely it should be her decision whether or not she wishes to remain in the marriage.

[winkie]

I don't disagree with any of that but surely it should be her decision whether or not she wishes to remain in the marriage.

....break up a marriage or relationship to some is deemed a failure whether it is their fault or not, could be they failed to pick the right person for the right reasons.....these things take time they are not instant decisions.....small happenings eventually become big....time hits..time heals.

[Bruce Banner]

....break up a marriage or relationship to some is deemed a failure whether it is their fault or not, could be they failed to pick the right person for the right reasons.....these things take time they are not instant decisions.....small happenings eventually become big....time hits..time heals.

Or perhaps they were perfectly happy together and just in a marriage where they fight like cats and dogs and enjoy it, but the loss of face may now split them up. In a few years time he may be reduced to visiting a "lady" with a whip, rather than receiving a clout over the head with a frying pan every week or two.

My point is that marriages are all different and we should not sit in judgement unless one, or both, parties seek assistance.

[winkie]

Or perhaps they were perfectly happy together and just in a marriage where they fight like cats and dogs and enjoy it, but the loss of face may now split them up. In a few years time he may be reduced to visiting a "lady" with a whip, rather than receiving a clout over the head with a frying pan every week or two.

My point is that marriages are all different and we should not sit in judgement unless one, or both, parties seek assistance.

...Yes, let it develop without interference up to a degree, but love can be blind, sometimes people might need a third party to point out aggressive behaviour towards another is not something that normally happens in healthy relationships.....they can take it or leave it.......most sensible people would leave the relationship because the chances are it will only escalate further.

In the end two people can only decide their own destiny....they can listen to advice or interference but the final outcome will be up to them, true love will conquer all.

[swissy_fit]

Or perhaps they were perfectly happy together and just in a marriage where they fight like cats and dogs and enjoy it, but the loss of face may now split them up. In a few years time he may be reduced to visiting a "lady" with a whip, rather than receiving a clout over the head with a frying pan every week or two.

My point is that marriages are all different and we should not sit in judgement unless one, or both, parties seek assistance.

Like I said before, that's fine in this case, both parties are wealthy, educated and empowered. Frequently not the case.

[swissy_fit]

In the end two people can only decide their own destiny....they can listen to advice or interference but the final outcome will be up to them, true love will conquer all.

Is that ironic or have you never actually been married?

[winkie]

Is that ironic or have you never actually been married?

.....the ironic thing is 'marriage' is a red herring.....

[ccc]

Many woman can be an absolute nightmare behind the scenes.

Is Nigella like this ? Who knows - but quite possible.

Many women continually poke a stick at the snake curled up in the corner - over and over and over again.

And then when the snake finally gives in and snaps back - act all shocked at the result.

I have very little sympathy for situations like this. And they can of course go both ways. However i do feel it is more of a female trait to push a bloke further and further and be surprised when they get something in return.

[Guest eight]

Many woman can be an absolute nightmare behind the scenes.

Is Nigella like this ? Who knows - but quite possible.

Have you never watched her shows? I wouldn't be surprised to find out she's got some kind of mental illness.

[swissy_fit]

.....the ironic thing is 'marriage' is a red herring.....

Well,ok live with someone, whatever.

It was really the "true love will only conquer all" remark that had me reaching for the sickbag. If women were taught from the word go that this is mostly total b*ll, there are no Prince Charmings etc, it would help a lot IMO.

[swissy_fit]

Many woman can be an absolute nightmare behind the scenes.

Is Nigella like this ? Who knows - but quite possible.

Many women continually poke a stick at the snake curled up in the corner - over and over and over again.

And then when the snake finally gives in and snaps back - act all shocked at the result.

I have very little sympathy for situations like this. And they can of course go both ways. However i do feel it is more of a female trait to push a bloke further and further and be surprised when they get something in return.

What they should get in return is the sound of the door closing, not a hand round the throat or whatever.

[ccc]

Have you never watched her shows? I wouldn't be surprised to find out she's got some kind of mental illness.

Never have actually. Does she seem like a 'special one' ? I have no idea.

On another note - what would be the reaction to this if the roles were reversed ?

I imagine people would think she looked a bit mental and the bloke should leave her. I can't imagine there would have been much chat re. Assault or the police getting involved.

[the gardener]

Many woman can be an absolute nightmare behind the scenes.

Is Nigella like this ? Who knows - but quite possible.

Many women continually poke a stick at the snake curled up in the corner - over and over and over again.

And then when the snake finally gives in and snaps back - act all shocked at the result.

I have very little sympathy for situations like this. And they can of course go both ways. However i do feel it is more of a female trait to push a bloke further and further and be surprised when they get something in return.

Yep. Women just do not know when to stop. Even after repeatedly being asked to stop pursuing the subject they keep on and on.

[snowflux]

What they should get in return is the sound of the door closing, not a hand round the throat or whatever.

Indeed. And very well put, I might add!

[ccc]

What they should get in return is the sound of the door closing, not a hand round the throat or whatever.

Is a hand round a throat really a huge deal though ? Yes its not very nice but not exactly the end of the world.

Does it actually make sense to have todays situation - where any form of physical contact can immediately be called domestic 'abuse' and require police involvement ? I don't think so.

The police should not be wasting their time on this - instead they could be looking into the real serious incidences of domestic violence.

[Guest eight]

Never have actually. Does she seem like a 'special one' ? I have no idea.

She's one of those over bearing, wide-eyed, "jolly hockey sticks" types - but it seems like she's constantly tottering around the edge of some gigantic mental chasm that she might fall into at any moment. Also lots of references to comfort eating - essentially the premise of her approach - yet what could be put right with 90,000 calories worth of comfort is anybody's guess.

The question is though, would ccc?

[ccc]

What do you think !!

[winkie]

Well,ok live with someone, whatever.

It was really the "true love will only conquer all" remark that had me reaching for the sickbag. If women were taught from the word go that this is mostly total b*ll, there are no Prince Charmings etc, it would help a lot IMO.

Who says anyone should be perfect when nobody is....but anyone in a relationship has to have mutual respect and get along...what I mean by love will conquer all is if two people love each other they will stick together through thick or thin whatever outside influence there is.....not go off taking the kids to clear the air or whatever.

That can be another huge hurdle or obstacle to overcome.....the kids, especially kids from another relationship....but that is another story, or perhaps the same story.