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The Masked Tulip

Marriage & Children

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I am 39, 40 in January, and so many of my friends who are married are forever telling me how wonderful marriage is, how wonderful children are.

Every now and then, often in the early hours of the morning after a few beers and a curry, one of them will tell me how awful marriage is and how they regret having children. I know that sounds awful but, well, that is the way things are. Both men AND women tell me this.

Interestingly, in the last 2 or 3 months I am having more and more people trying to convince me to go and buy a property. They usually state that the economy is booming, no sign of crash, IRs are low, HPs are due to rise, etc. It has suddenly become very noticeable that so many are pushing me in this direction.

I can't help feeling that they do, to quote the Bard, protest too much.

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Well you can't understand it until you have kids of your own. I have a two year old daughter. I now have no time to myself. I can't do any of my old hobbies. I have no money to spend on myself. There is no question whatsoever that if I were to never have married and had a kid that I would be better off financially and have far more spare time.

But

I love my daughter unconditionally. Absolutely. With all of my heart and being. I would never change what I have.

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Children can be great, so can wives, even houses can be great.

Borrow too much, now that stinks and you run a greater risk of losing contact with all three.

Edited by OnlyMe

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Portent, Absolutely well put! I too have a 2 year old daughter and you do lose a lot of previous freedoms. Yes at times it can be tough and even frustrating, but it is SO worth it! :lol::D:lol:

I would guess that people who cry about marriage and children when drunk are failing in some major way while sober. Marriage and parenthood takes a lot of commitment and effort - things this society doesn't really value any more.

Oh, and it is a fact - you really cannot come close to appreciating or understanding until it happens. Even then, it is only a beginning.

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How could anyone regret having children?

Sometimes marrage is hard. Somedays I wake up, look at my wonderful husband, drooling on the pillow, and wonder what the hell I was thinking. (and I have no doubt he feels the same way sometimes )

But your children? Not even at 3am washing barf out of my eye do I regret my children!

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How could anyone regret having children?

Sometimes marrage is hard. Somedays I wake up, look at my wonderful husband, drooling on the pillow, and wonder what the hell I was thinking. (and I have no doubt he feels the same way sometimes )

But your children? Not even at 3am washing barf out of my eye do I regret my children!

Raising children is at the sametime the most difficult and the most rewarding task a human can undertake. Do you want the emotional rollercoaster or do you want the emotional merry-go-round? I prefer the rollercoaster. (with apologies to the film "Parenthood")

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having my little one was the best thing that ever happened to me...ever.

the split from the ex wasn't.

I wish it could have been happy familes but it wasn't to be and I just have to accept it.....it doesn't mean I love my little girl any less,although it cuts me to bits only getting to see her once a week.

.....my ex and I are still on reasonable terms,and I'm thankful for tha.I've seen a few folks in worse situations.

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I wish it could have been happy familes but it wasn't to be and I just have to accept it.....it doesn't mean I love my little girl any less,although it cuts me to bits only getting to see her once a week.

Christ that's tough :(

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children are ok i suppose, but better if you can get them out on the streets pickpocketing punters for you in a fagin type way. those little hands are perfect fro nipping ouot a gentlemans wallet or pocketwatch. then they can scarper like dirty urchins through the narrow streets of pimlico and the like, afore returning to the den to offer up the booty.

'consider yourself, priced out.

consider yourself without a family.

we dont want to make - you fret.

its clear. were. up in our necks in debt.

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none of us will be here forever. If you rate your genes and think they might be a net asset to the human race in the future, then you'd better get replacing yourself!

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Normally those who've had children can't say anything other than they're the best thing that has ever happened to them, it's not like having a duff car that you can go and replace. Like an earlier poster i've had more than one of mine friends confess after a few beers that they regret having them.

Select A for:

tons of quality free time

no restrictions on social life

not being skint

your house not being a warzone during puberty years

loads of money

not having kids still at home in their late 20's

not forking out a fortune to send them to uni

etc etc etc

OR

Select B for:

the reverse of all the above

and, erm...the chance to vaguely mumble that they're the best thing that ever happened to you.

we all have different priorities though so fair play to those that want to sign up to B. (rather buy 5 btl's myself, it'd be cheaper and less stressful)

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I was in the A camp.

But due to unforseen circumstances, ended up in the B camp.

Now have an 8 week old boy.

Best thing ever. Still manage to go out with friends once a weeek. Myself and my wife have still been out together 2-3 times. I still have money to spend.

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Children prevent you getting up inside yourself. Like death they are the great leveller.

I could not agree more. People who dont have kids and get to their forties can sometimes be.... shall we say.. anally retentive and intolerant. Not all, but definately a significant number.

Kids require you to put them first and unconditionally so. Parenthood is a burden and a responsibility but so is everything worthwhile in life.

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People who dont have kids and get to their forties can sometimes be.... shall we say.. anally retentive and intolerant.

Yes, but then I was like this in my teens, 20's and 30's - so no reason to change now. :)

Or maybe you just meant women! :D:D:D:D

Nomadd

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I deliberately had children when I was very young and so never realised I was missing out. The first Mrs 2112 had a council place that was in a nice area and cheap enough so we housed, clothed and fed ourselves on my tiny salary. Thing is although I didn't really notice at the time we slowly lost many of our friends who spent their 20's living a life. About 30 and we both regretted it and eventually went our own way. The second and quite wonderful Mrs 2112 also wanted kids and I having aged well had all the fun I needed so I find myself with 5 of the little buggers now and for my sins they all live with me.

I work in an office of 10 ladies and another bloke. I have more children than everyone else. Many of the women would like to settle down and get married and then have kids. They can't, society has gone wrong, they can't afford a home, can't find decent men (some of these are really nice attractive women with no real personality flaws I can see) (is that sexist?), they are all pushing 30 and starting to worry they left it too late. It is sad. Only my boss who has her career seems not to mind. Thing is a career can go wrong, a career won't come and look after you when youre 70, a career while like a child will occasionally give you sleepless nights and stress, never gives you the pure joy of seeing a new human, nurtured and loved, giving back that love unconditionally :wub: bugger, gone all broody again.

"Mrs 2112 shall we have another baby when houses are cheaper?"

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I deliberately had children when I was very young and so never realised I was missing out. The first Mrs 2112 had a council place that was in a nice area and cheap enough so we housed, clothed and fed ourselves on my tiny salary. Thing is although I didn't really notice at the time we slowly lost many of our friends who spent their 20's living a life. About 30 and we both regretted it and eventually went our own way. The second and quite wonderful Mrs 2112 also wanted kids and I having aged well had all the fun I needed so I find myself with 5 of the little buggers now and for my sins they all live with me.

I work in an office of 10 ladies and another bloke. I have more children than everyone else. Many of the women would like to settle down and get married and then have kids. They can't, society has gone wrong, they can't afford a home, can't find decent men (some of these are really nice attractive women with no real personality flaws I can see) (is that sexist?), they are all pushing 30 and starting to worry they left it too late. It is sad. Only my boss who has her career seems not to mind. Thing is a career can go wrong, a career won't come and look after you when youre 70, a career while like a child will occasionally give you sleepless nights and stress, never gives you the pure joy of seeing a new human, nurtured and loved, giving back that love unconditionally :wub: bugger, gone all broody again.

"Mrs 2112 shall we have another baby when houses are cheaper?"

Well done.

You should be thanked by most here for providing the means to to pay their pensions.

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Well done.

You should be thanked by most here for providing the means to to pay their pensions.

Eldest has already mentioned travelling so they might not yet be paying into your pension fund :)

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Eldest has already mentioned travelling so they might not yet be paying into your pension fund :)

We need them in Australia!

We love to take advantage of the backpacker economy.

Visas readily available!

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Who was it who said: "I like children; I used to go to school with them."

Once you have kids, your life is no longer your own--but you live on in the memories of your children, and in your children's children...

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"Not even at 3am washing barf out of my eye do I regret my children!"

Absolutely agree. Have never, for one moment, regretted having mine andjust wish I could have more.

I think that a lot of blokes regret having children though.

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"Not even at 3am washing barf out of my eye do I regret my children!"

Absolutely agree. Have never, for one moment, regretted having mine andjust wish I could have more.

I think that a lot of blokes regret having children though.

why?

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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