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How Would You Do As Chancellor

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ok guys, we hear why things are wrong, we hear why gordon brown is insane.

so today you have been made chancellor, you wave your arms to the camera and smile.Then you walk into number eleven, and you sit down at the big desk.

You are now the boss of the uk economy.

what you gonna do?

Edited by homeless

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ok guys, we hear why things are wrong, we hear why gordon brown is insane.

so today you have been made chancellor, you wave your arms to the camera and smile.Then you walk into number eleven, and you sit down at the big desk.

You are now the boss of the uk economy.

what you gonna do?

Cut house prices by 50% B)

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There's not actually that much to do since interest rate policy is entirely out of my hands. However:

i] introduce rolling simplification of tax system with stated aim of achieving, eventually, a flat rate system

ii] absolute high water point of state expenditure as fraction of GDP called. Gentle but progressive roll back of state through dynamic variety of initiatives and outsourcing. Decrease size of civil service

iii] Pension system overhaul, all individuals (including public sector workers) to make their own personal arrangements via compulsory contributions from wages. Retirement age in future linked via actuarial calculation to longevity. Contributions to be from taxed income but pensions themselves derived from investment income would be tax free

iv] local government to be financed locally (need for local taxes)

v] encourage private sector companies to make infrastructure investments by simplification of planning laws, tax breaks for infrastructure, property owners to contribute to infrastructure costs if prices rise

vi] UK to withhold portion of EU contribution that is for subsidy of agriculture - would probably end in EU withdrawal - complete lifting of UK tariffs on agriculture imports. No support ofr UK farmers (apart from transition programme, perhaps to grow biomass fuels)

vii] withdraw complex tax credit scheme, instead raise tax thresholds to take poor people out tax system altogether

viii] end charity status of private schools

ix] end of civil list for royals

x] NHS remains to administer funding but all health provision put out to competitive tender

xi] carbon tax on all fossil fuels rising in real terms each year

That's a good start for the first few weeks.

Edited by BoredTrainBuilder

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Cut house prices by 50% B)

I know it`s been said before, but I honestly believe that anyone personally ambitious enough to want to be an MP (never mind Chancellor ) should automatically be prevented from being one.

So , what do you replace them with , a bunch of Chimps would be an improvement, but how about we run it like jury service and we all get a turn.

After all it couldn`t get much worse.

Imagine........Limpet is chancellor for a month, what do I do.

1. We can do away with MP`s lovely pensions , as no one will be in the job long enough to qualify.

That`ll save some money

2. We won`t bother replacing Trident

3. We cancel the Olympics ( After all it is bound to cost 4 times the original estimate, will attract terrorist bombers, and worst of all we wont win many medals anyway )

4. Stop building flood defences to protect houses built on flood plains, NUMPTIES, do they not realise it only moves the flooding somewhere else. Does the phrase "Flood Plain" not give them a clue, gee up!!

5. What do you mean my month`s up , oh well just when I was getting the hang of it :rolleyes:

Limpet B)

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:D

I'm number dyslexic.

I'm crap at budgeting.

I think I have all the qualifiactions to be Chancellor!

Where do I apply ?!!!!

:lol::lol::lol:

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I'd probably take a massive salary, talk b*ll*cks so people think I know what i'm doing, cross my fingers and hope things are ok until i can quit to sit on the boards of several multinationals being paid to play golf.

Then i'd blame everything (including my poor handicap) on the irresponsible public for borrowing too much money.

I'm alright Jack. :P

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what you gonna do?

I'd make everyone complete an annual tax return with 10-20 categories on it where you can specify on what your tax money is spent. For example, I dont' have kids and have private medical insurance so I don't give a toss about schools or hospitals but I love fighter jets so I could write '100%' in the Defence box and '0%' in all the rest.

Flat tax as well, obviously.

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drastic cull of the benefits system.....something to the effect of:

incapacity benefit.....erm nope....a bad back doesn't stop you doing secretarial stuff....unlucky.

single mum.....oops,sorry love,you were underage so your folks will be footing the bill...and your boyf is getting banged up for it.

council workers.....you are now being put out to tender.....if you feel like striking,tough...the private firm have already won as we don't want unreliable people.

NHS.....well,the service is not as it should be so lets give everybody that pays NI a top-up option to go private....those on benefits(except over 65's)....if you aren't paying then you don't get...tough but fair.

....council taxes DOWN, so the punters love it.

public sector non-jobs sorted

the rest goes in tax cuts so those that work get MUCH better off.

the chavs will get the message that work pays.

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drastic cull of the benefits system.....something to the effect of:

incapacity benefit.....erm nope....a bad back doesn't stop you doing secretarial stuff....unlucky.

single mum.....oops,sorry love,you were underage so your folks will be footing the bill...and your boyf is getting banged up for it.

council workers.....you are now being put out to tender.....if you feel like striking,tough...the private firm have already won as we don't want unreliable people.

NHS.....well,the service is not as it should be so lets give everybody that pays NI a top-up option to go private....those on benefits(except over 65's)....if you aren't paying then you don't get...tough but fair.

....council taxes DOWN, so the punters love it.

public sector non-jobs sorted

the rest goes in tax cuts so those that work get MUCH better off.

the chavs will get the message that work pays.

Are you legible for election?

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ok guys, we hear why things are wrong, we hear why gordon brown is insane.

so today you have been made chancellor, you wave your arms to the camera and smile.Then you walk into number eleven, and you sit down at the big desk.

You are now the boss of the uk economy.

what you gonna do?

Uh, dunno.

But I'm a quick learner. What would you want me to do? :D

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What about putting a tax on junk food?

This could be collected by adding huge taxes on burgers, pizzas, crisps, cakes, ice cream and fizzy drinks.

Most supermarkets are swamped full of this crap (and the obese fools that buy it)

I know it will never happen, but if you took out all the junk food, pet food, cheap dvd players and gardening tools from my local supermarket there wouldn't be a lot left.

It's just changed over to Morrisons (from up North apparently) and now the salad bar has been replaced with a freezer safe of 'special offer' frozen ready meals. Half the deli is now a fishmongers and the bakery is all but replaced by a butchers selling red meat.

The freezer section is now all pizzas, burgers, ready meals and more different types of ice cream than I ever knew existed.

The fruit and veg section has given space to crisps, bisto gravy granules and loads of reduced 'date expiring' crap.

Oh, and I'd also slap an obesity tax on all the fat b******s that buy this crap.

(I'm not bitter)

.

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So , what do you replace them with , a bunch of Chimps would be an improvement, but how about we run it like jury service and we all get a turn.

Limpet B)

Maybe if they employed an infinite number of chimps they would get it right..... :unsure:

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ok guys, we hear why things are wrong, we hear why gordon brown is insane.

so today you have been made chancellor, you wave your arms to the camera and smile.Then you walk into number eleven, and you sit down at the big desk.

You are now the boss of the uk economy.

what you gonna do?

Run.

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What about putting a tax on junk food?

This could be collected by adding huge taxes on burgers, pizzas, crisps, cakes, ice cream and fizzy drinks.

Most supermarkets are swamped full of this crap (and the obese fools that buy it)

I know it will never happen, but if you took out all the junk food, pet food, cheap dvd players and gardening tools from my local supermarket there wouldn't be a lot left.

It's just changed over to Morrisons (from up North apparently) and now the salad bar has been replaced with a freezer safe of 'special offer' frozen ready meals. Half the deli is now a fishmongers and the bakery is all but replaced by a butchers selling red meat.

The freezer section is now all pizzas, burgers, ready meals and more different types of ice cream than I ever knew existed.

The fruit and veg section has given space to crisps, bisto gravy granules and loads of reduced 'date expiring' crap.

yeah it's a bit extreme but fat birds in leggings really should be illegal.

Oh, and I'd also slap an obesity tax on all the fat b******s that buy this crap.

(I'm not bitter)

.

Are you legible for election?

...oh and as act of parliament to show I'm kosher,then I would make it illegal for ANY senior public servant to be dually appointed to any other position while in office.

(most employers these days have sole employment clauses,so why not MP's and civil servants,come to think of it,why not doctors and NHS staff.......it's make your mind up time..

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what you gonna do?

Sell up (well you would get a good price for number eleven if it wasn't for the neighbours :ph34r:) and leave the country :P

Alternatively

1) Simplify the tax system, working towards a flat rate system

2) Make all savings tax free.

3) Drop all tax credits, instead the personal allowance should be based on your dependence.

4) Pensions need to be more accountable and compulsory.

5) Unemployment benefit (etc) should be a temporary solution and hence will last for a fix term (eg 6 months), after that your on your own.

6) I agree with "Without a Paddle", junk food should be taxed big time.

What i'd really like to see is everyone have an "account" with the goverment, in which you see all your payments (income tax, vat et al) and refunds (benefits, nhs costs et al)... people would then understand how badly Uk plc is run :angry:

Edited by beerhunter

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id take a world class dump. right off. from the getgo.

id nip in the crapper at number 11 with a newspaper and wouldnt come out till 10.20

then id patrol central london with a loudhailer asking the economy to come out with its hands up.

pretty soon from basements, doorways and piles of burning rubble. wounded and stumbling, broken lenders would apprear. arms raised muttering. 'kamerad. kamerad' through the smoke.

Edited by right_freds_dead

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i would tax all churches / faiths / religions - should raise a bloomin' fortune from those land rich b*******s

i would cut all subsidies to bus companies - people would suddenly realise how much it really costs to travel - we would invest all the extra money raised from people buying fuel for their own cars into widening all roads (and filling in the holes too!) - anyone complaining would be taxed triple

i would also cut subsidies to rail companies - if they close, then tough - they dont run on time anyway

i would raid the public sector pension fund (ok, it doesnt really exist but i am using my imagination) - i would then tell 25% of the public sector that they couldnt have a pension (they dont deserve it anyway)

i would increase the tax on multiple homes to 50% of capital gain - just to be sure that there were no fiddles over whether or not a house was a main residence, i would ensure it didnt matter - people could pay tax on both / either - i would tax rental income at 50% - that should solve the housing problem PDQ

i would tax anyone voting lib dem at 50% so they would know what it feels like should their party ever get into power (not that that is likely)

i would sack the softies my predecessor had appointed to the MPC and replace them with some serious economists - oh yes, i would tell them to target debt and asset prices and keep them reasonable

i'll be back later with more good ideas

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Guest consa

I have said this before:

We need to change the way the government works.

The government could be run via a website portal.

If for instance you had a site like this, we could appoint certain people to be in charge of the economy, Taxes, Interest rates, etc.......................

You could probably formulate a spreadsheet to calculate everything and let you know when to raise interest rate or lower them etc.

We could save a fortune in government costs.

A poll can easily be raised at the drop of a hat and public could vote.

The Country could be run by everyone together having input.

Just a thought :ph34r:

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Might even be a viable option other than the fact that accusations (and probably practice) of vote rigging would be rife....

...at least with recent votes around the globe we can guarantee that the votes have been fairly approtioned and cast :blink:

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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