CrashedOutAndBurned Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2234231/The-despairing-father-For-years-Naval-Commander-Nick-Crews-bottled-frustration--snapped-sent-excoriating-email-tearing-family-apart.html Bemoaning his children’s broken marriages and the effect of these on his beloved grandchildren, plus — in his view — his offspring’s abject failure to capitalise on the private education they had enjoyed courtesy of Mum and Dad, Nick Crews did not mince his words.If it wasn’t for the ‘beautiful’ grandchildren, he wrote, ‘Mum and I would not be too concerned as each of you consciously, and with eyes wide open, crashes from one ****-up to the next. ‘It makes us weep that so many of these events are copulation driven, and then helplessly to see these lovely little people being so woefully let down by you, their parents.’ Fed up of ‘being forced to live through the never-ending bad dream of our children’s under-achievement and ineptitude’ Mr Crews concludes he wants to hear no more from them until they have something positive to tell him. He signs off: ‘I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed. Dad’. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 I was shocked that someone, presumably the children, decided to contact the Daily Mail about it. The problem is that reading the article, and his letter, you only get one view of the story. Perhaps another angle is that he loves his children deeply and is deeply, deeply concerned for their well-being and futures? Perhaps he is hurt himself and his letter, on the surface reading as one of disappointment and perhaps anger, is actually a cry from deep within him? Or perhaps he is just a miserable old sod? Who knows? Who can tell what is going on in the lives of everyone involved? I just found it all very sad when I read the article. I hope they can find a way to a reconciliation soon. Life is too short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezer466 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 The kids probably retain their inflated sense of entitlement and keep going to daddy for a payout.... He has decided enough is enough.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saabman Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 perhaps this is what 'mail' readers think of their own feckless off spring.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gigantic Purple Slug Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 The kids probably retain their inflated sense of entitlement and keep going to daddy for a payout.... He has decided enough is enough.......... Parents who encourage kids to be takers should tell them to bog off before the situation comes to a head. It takes two to make a relationship. Edit to make general Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezer466 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 Whereas maybe rather than encouraging them to be takers he should have told them to bog off a long time ago before the situation came to a head. It takes two to make a relationship. Pretty clear what the readership demographic is from the responses. Maybe he has written them out of his will and intends to leave it all to the local dogs home.... Now that would be a story.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrashedOutAndBurned Posted November 17, 2012 Author Share Posted November 17, 2012 The Mail's readership is lower middle class curtain twitchers. This story is about the upper middle class (which is what the readership aspires to or already thinks it is) , and yet the airing of dirty laundry is straight out of Jeremy Kyle. It has the females held up for ridicule trope. The Dad as 'comment section hero'. As I said, 100% Mail. By numbers. That's why we love it so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si1 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 the baby boomers don't realise just how much they clogged the career ladder with their job-squatting, this is just a reflection of that, the promotions and career opportunities just weren't there, especially since there wasn't a normal timely recession in the early 2000s to shake the career ladder up edit: he seems disappointed that we're in the deepest recession in living memory, and is blaming his children it, tw*t edit2: "which of you...can..finance your home and provide a pension for your old age" - since he got cheap housing and a subsidised public sector pension that he did not provide for himself, the man is clearly a **** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie The Tramp Returns Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 The Mail's readership is lower middle class curtain twitchers. Not guilty I have blinds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloo Loo Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 the baby boomers don't realise just how much they clogged the career ladder with their job-squatting, this is just a reflection of that, the promotions and career opportunities just weren't there, especially since there wasn't a normal timely recession in the early 2000s to shake the career ladder up edit: he seems disappointed that we're in the deepest recession in living memory, and is blaming his children it, tw*t edit2: "which of you...can..finance your home and provide a pension for your old age" - since he got cheap housing and a subsidised public sector pension that he did not provide for himself, the man is clearly a **** are these the same job sitters that retire on full pension at 50 from cushy public sector jobs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorkins Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 The whole 'disappointed that you haven't made more of yourselves' part aside, it sounds like the grandparents were tired of providing emotional support for their children's dramas. I think this is fair enough and don't have much time for people who get worked up over relatively minor life events and expect others to share in the emotional rollercoaster. If everybody is in good health then there is no red alert. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Battenberg Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 The whole 'disappointed that you haven't made more of yourselves' part aside, it sounds like the grandparents were tired of providing emotional support for their children's dramas. I think this is fair enough and don't have much time for people who get worked up over relatively minor life events and expect others to share in the emotional rollercoaster. If everybody is in good health then there is no red alert. I agree with this. I'm the youngest of 4 and as my own children grow up I start to understand what an emotional drain some, more than others, of us have been on our parents. I try to keep my gripes to myself now but I know that's not case with all my siblings. My parents are in their 80's now and the just don't need it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenzdawg Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 Don't see what boomers have to do with it. It's the old, old story: clogs to clogs in five generations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeepLurker Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 Looking at all the green-and-red arrows on that article, I feel that the following comment will get red-arrowed, but I had to send it anyway to the Wail... "We are constantly regaled with chapter and verse of the happy, successful lives of the families of our friends and relatives and being asked for news of our own children..."Oh, poor daddy, can't brag to your friends about how brilliant your kids are? I feel for you. I really do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNACR Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 After fully reading the article he wasn't as an objectionable old self-awareness-free boomer anachronism as I expected. His primary concern did seem to be the effect all their broken marriages was having on the grandchildren. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Executive Sadman Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 i have to hand it to the daily mail. They know how to fabricate a story. This is how they are the worlds no.1 "news" website. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorkins Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 After fully reading the article he wasn't as an objectionable old self-awareness-free boomer anachronism as I expected. His primary concern did seem to be the effect all their broken marriages was having on the grandchildren. Though you have to wonder how much time a nuclear submarine captain spent raising his own children. Maybe his (lack of) parenting is one of the reasons his children struggle to maintain relationships as adults. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Preacherman Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 There are several quotes from the old duffer such this this one that strike a cord with me. 'As a naval officer, you have to make up your mind quickly and live with the consequences of the decisions you've made for better or worse.' I see many of my Gen X peers particularly from a middle class background indecisive and whiny. (see the priced out brigade for an example.) However, their fate it is down to a combination of upbringing, parents that instil their off spring with a sense of entitlement, I send my kids to school x and university y they will be a success. However, social change with greater access to education has meant that competition is much greater. The plebs are getting access to the jobs that were reserved for the offspring of the middle class. It was harder for the son to follow the father's footsteps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrashedOutAndBurned Posted November 18, 2012 Author Share Posted November 18, 2012 There are several quotes from the old duffer such this this one that strike a cord with me. I see many of my Gen X peers particularly from a middle class background indecisive and whiny. (see the priced out brigade for an example.) However, their fate it is down to a combination of upbringing, parents that instil their off spring with a sense of entitlement, I send my kids to school x and university y they will be a success. However, social change with greater access to education has meant that competition is much greater. The plebs are getting access to the jobs that were reserved for the offspring of the middle class. It was harder for the son to follow the father's footsteps. Right. I've said this for years. It hasn't sunk in that only 1 in 40 graduates gets a milkround opening these days. A few more will go into professions - law, teaching, medicine, etc. The jobs market doesn't know what to do with the huge glut of graduates so they end up in the low pay, low prospects jobs that could have happily landed if they'd left school at 16 or 18. And it's not just the 2:2 in Media graduates - I've seen graduates from prestigious universities in McJobs over the last ten years. Boomers generally seem to think they got their success by gumption and hard work. In fact, they just happened to grow up through a historical blip where the middle class was expanding rapidly. Now we're back to normal, really. A small genuine middle class and a whole bunch of plebs ruled by plutocrats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si1 Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 it sounds like the grandparents were tired of providing emotional support for their children's dramas. there does seem to be a fair bit of serial monogamy going on - but I also wonder how much that comes down to possible emotionally incontinent father as they were growing up - in such cases people seek relationships that reflect their upbringing and try to address their upbringing, subconciously and superficially, through the relationship with a similar personality to their problem-parent when this doesn't fix the emotional scare, they split up the father cannot bring himself to realise the common thread between them all is their upbringing so blames them personally insteads to avert blame from himself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si1 Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 Right. I've said this for years. It hasn't sunk in that only 1 in 40 graduates gets a milkround opening these days. A few more will go into professions - law, teaching, medicine, etc. The jobs market doesn't know what to do with the huge glut of graduates so they end up in the low pay, low prospects jobs that could have happily landed if they'd left school at 16 or 18. And it's not just the 2:2 in Media graduates - I've seen graduates from prestigious universities in McJobs over the last ten years. Boomers generally seem to think they got their success by gumption and hard work. In fact, they just happened to grow up through a historical blip where the middle class was expanding rapidly. Now we're back to normal, really. A small genuine middle class and a whole bunch of plebs ruled by plutocrats. yes, see my earlier post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corevalue Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 Right. I've said this for years. It hasn't sunk in that only 1 in 40 graduates gets a milkround opening these days. A few more will go into professions - law, teaching, medicine, etc. The jobs market doesn't know what to do with the huge glut of graduates so they end up in the low pay, low prospects jobs that could have happily landed if they'd left school at 16 or 18. And it's not just the 2:2 in Media graduates - I've seen graduates from prestigious universities in McJobs over the last ten years. Boomers generally seem to think they got their success by gumption and hard work. In fact, they just happened to grow up through a historical blip where the middle class was expanding rapidly. Now we're back to normal, really. A small genuine middle class and a whole bunch of plebs ruled by plutocrats. Well, in us boomers days, only 10-15% ever went to on to tertiary education. The massive expansion of the system has had the same effect as QE, it's diluted the value. The whole basis of students loans is based on a lie; that higher education will gain you a higher salary. Not any more, that was true when only 15% got higher education. The real problem lies with the false expectations given to the current generations (yes, boomers to blame for this). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goat Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 the baby boomers don't realise just how much they clogged the career ladder with their job-squatting, this is just a reflection of that, the promotions and career opportunities just weren't there, especially since there wasn't a normal timely recession in the early 2000s to shake the career ladder up edit: he seems disappointed that we're in the deepest recession in living memory, and is blaming his children it, tw*t edit2: "which of you...can..finance your home and provide a pension for your old age" - since he got cheap housing and a subsidised public sector pension that he did not provide for himself, the man is clearly a **** So lets get this right; they've resticted the supply of housing so that it's out of the reach of all but the elite, they've offshored most of the jobs and thrown open the borders to ensure massive competition for those that are left; they've promised themselves massive freebies in terms of healthcare and pensions and they wonder why their kids are struggling to establish themselves in the way they did. Staggering lack of insight from some of these boomers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_duke_of_hazzard Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 He should take this up with the people that raised these children. He sounds like a real twit, pretty typical parenting attitude of the naval fathers I know. Edit: that should be tw4t dannit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrashedOutAndBurned Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 Well, in us boomers days, only 10-15% ever went to on to tertiary education. The massive expansion of the system has had the same effect as QE, it's diluted the value. The whole basis of students loans is based on a lie; that higher education will gain you a higher salary. Not any more, that was true when only 15% got higher education. The real problem lies with the false expectations given to the current generations (yes, boomers to blame for this). Whether they went to Uni or not the fact remains that the jobs market has been so dumbed down, deskilled, downsized and off shored with lots of cosy little adequately-paid skilled, senior and management jobs no longer in existence that millions of intelligent people will have to do McWork they could do if they had the intelligence of a gnat. The well-educated son mentioned in the article could well be working in a taxi office having done nothing wrong. Although I grew up much more lower middle class I think, reading between the lines, my Mum probably wonders way I'm not in some prestigious very high paid job with my three A Grade A Levels and two degrees. Since going self-employed I suspects she thinks I'm a kind of layabout even though it's increased my income and improved my non-monetary lifestyle. I'm sure she sees our grubby magnolia BTL flat as something she equates with with 'living in poverty' even though we probably pay twice many boomers' mortgage payments for it. Edit: Autocorrect nonsense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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