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Receiving Anonymous Letters From A Neighbour


the_duke_of_hazzard

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I read to here...

The letters are a little unhinged. The first one talks about the Soham murders, and how people ignored screams while they were murdered. The second talks about a "contractual obligation" to be quiet.

... and did not read any further.

Contact the Police and contact them today. Show them the letters. I would also seriously consider contacting the local rag.

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Thanks everyone for the advice and help.

I phoned the police (101, not 999!) and that was an experience. The woman on the phone was refreshingly blunt and bullish. Advised we don't go round the neighbours at all ("I wouldn't give them the satisfaction!"), and advised us just to "chuck the letters in the bin".

She offered to send round some community support officers, but I said I wasn't sure what that was really necessary. So the official advice is to do nothing, really.

Finally, she said the council deal with noise complaints, so I looked on the net for advice from the council, which led me to this:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/your_family/home_and_neighbourhood_index_ew/problems_where_you_live_index_ew/neighbour_disputes.htm

"Children

Noisy children

Noisy children in themselves are not a ‘nuisance’. If someone is disturbed by a neighbour’s children, for example, a shift worker who wants to sleep during the day, the only real solution is a conciliatory approach to the neighbour."

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Thanks everyone for the advice and help.

I phoned the police (101, not 999!) and that was an experience. The woman on the phone was refreshingly blunt and bullish. Advised we don't go round the neighbours at all ("I wouldn't give them the satisfaction!"), and advised us just to "chuck the letters in the bin".

She offered to send round some community support officers, but I said I wasn't sure what that was really necessary. So the official advice is to do nothing, really.

Finally, she said the council deal with noise complaints, so I looked on the net for advice from the council, which led me to this:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/your_family/home_and_neighbourhood_index_ew/problems_where_you_live_index_ew/neighbour_disputes.htm

"Children

Noisy children

Noisy children in themselves are not a ‘nuisance’. If someone is disturbed by a neighbour’s children, for example, a shift worker who wants to sleep during the day, the only real solution is a conciliatory approach to the neighbour."

If you are not happy, you could always write to the police

my guess is that they would then take it more seriously

just to cover their backsides

My profile of the sender would be some Victor Meldrew type old person

or some childless person who resents others peoples kids

could even be an ex-teacher

in my experience teachers hate other peoples kids

:blink:

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Thanks everyone for the advice and help.

I phoned the police (101, not 999!) and that was an experience. The woman on the phone was refreshingly blunt and bullish. Advised we don't go round the neighbours at all ("I wouldn't give them the satisfaction!"), and advised us just to "chuck the letters in the bin".

She offered to send round some community support officers, but I said I wasn't sure what that was really necessary. So the official advice is to do nothing, really.

I would not be happy with this response.

I would want to talk to someone else in the Police - did you actually speak with a Police Officer or a civilian telephonist?

I would now certainly contact the local rag and get a story in the paper - at least then the sender will know that people are aware of it. You may also find that a local rag article brings out other parents who have received similar letters. At the very least it will make other parents aware of what is going on and hence provide you with support.

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Thanks everyone for the advice and help.

I phoned the police (101, not 999!) and that was an experience. The woman on the phone was refreshingly blunt and bullish. Advised we don't go round the neighbours at all ("I wouldn't give them the satisfaction!"), and advised us just to "chuck the letters in the bin".

She offered to send round some community support officers, but I said I wasn't sure what that was really necessary. So the official advice is to do nothing, really.

Finally, she said the council deal with noise complaints, so I looked on the net for advice from the council, which led me to this:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/your_family/home_and_neighbourhood_index_ew/problems_where_you_live_index_ew/neighbour_disputes.htm

"Children

Noisy children

Noisy children in themselves are not a ‘nuisance’. If someone is disturbed by a neighbour’s children, for example, a shift worker who wants to sleep during the day, the only real solution is a conciliatory approach to the neighbour."

I certainly wouldn't throw the letters away. I'd insist they log it- no doubt the paperwork is a pain for them, but if it turns out there is a wacko in the area, then the sooner that is acknowledged officially, the swifter the problem will be dealt with. Obviously I hope it's just some idiot, and in all likelihood it is. But no need to limit your options at the moment.

I really hope you hear no more about it.

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Thanks everyone for the advice and help.

I phoned the police (101, not 999!) and that was an experience. The woman on the phone was refreshingly blunt and bullish. Advised we don't go round the neighbours at all ("I wouldn't give them the satisfaction!"), and advised us just to "chuck the letters in the bin".

She offered to send round some community support officers, but I said I wasn't sure what that was really necessary. So the official advice is to do nothing, really.

That's pretty much the response I got all those years ago, shame things have not advanced in that time. It's actually the wrong advice see http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/stalking_and_harassment/

Although harassment is not specifically defined it can include repeated attempts to impose unwanted communications and contacts upon a victim in a manner that could be expected to cause distress or fear in any reasonable person.

The key here is not to destroy any evidence that you have received from this person and to keep any further evidence (remember be forensically aware), also keep a diary of any subsequent correspondence and any events which you think could be attributable to your harasser the events and I would include with that the time, date and how you and your partner felt about the situation, the details of potential witnesses, has it changed your normal behaviour and any anything else even if you think it's irrelevant. Again, talk to your neighbour and have them so the same.

You may be better off going to the local Police station and reporting the matter and explaining to an officer you may have to explain the correct legislation to them and remind them that it's not just concerned with stalking (lots of Police staff still hold this view). Remember if you make a direct complaint to the Police they have a duty to investigate it.

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Hi Duke, assuming that you live in the same part of London that I do, i would raise it with your Local Councillor (who I know personallly) in a surgery as well as raising it with the police.

+ 1

Excellent advice.

With this type of incident it is a good idea to flag the issue up with the local councillor as well as the police since it potentially could impact the wider neighbourhood. Make sure plod are aware that you are raising the matter with your elected representative. Individual lazy coppers might not want to bother with the paper work but if they think it is an issue that might come back to bite them in a*se via a local police committee then they are less likely to fob you off.

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Thanks everyone for the advice and help.

I phoned the police (101, not 999!) and that was an experience. The woman on the phone was refreshingly blunt and bullish. Advised we don't go round the neighbours at all ("I wouldn't give them the satisfaction!"), and advised us just to "chuck the letters in the bin".

Why chuck away the only evidence you have?! As already mentioned in the good advice above, go to the police station in person if you are genuinely concerned (the letters are certainly weird though probably harmless). I would finesse this by insisting your neighbour (who apparently received same letter) comes with you to the station, just to close off that line of suspicion...

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Terrible advice from whoever you spoke to.

Keep the letter in a folder somewhere - keep a note of anything else that happens and ring the police when it does,

I'd also write down when you made the call.

I found whilst reporting nuisance that the call changes when I asked for a log reference number - like they actually typed info in then!

You should have asked to see PCSOs if that's all they offered.

Nothing to stop you ringing back and speaking to someone else and saying you've changed your mind and would like to speak to someone.

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Thanks everyone for the advice and help.

I phoned the police (101, not 999!) and that was an experience. The woman on the phone was refreshingly blunt and bullish. Advised we don't go round the neighbours at all ("I wouldn't give them the satisfaction!"), and advised us just to "chuck the letters in the bin".

She offered to send round some community support officers, but I said I wasn't sure what that was really necessary. So the official advice is to do nothing, really.

Finally, she said the council deal with noise complaints, so I looked on the net for advice from the council, which led me to this:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/your_family/home_and_neighbourhood_index_ew/problems_where_you_live_index_ew/neighbour_disputes.htm

"Children

Noisy children

Noisy children in themselves are not a ‘nuisance’. If someone is disturbed by a neighbour’s children, for example, a shift worker who wants to sleep during the day, the only real solution is a conciliatory approach to the neighbour."

F*ck me, what a useless b*tch. Why didn't she just say "I don't want to do any work" while she was at it?

You haven't actually posted the text of the letters, so it's difficult to tell if they can be interpreted as threatening, but I would not be happy receiving a letter in which the Soham murders were mentioned if I thought the reason for the complaint was noise made by my children.

I would definitely make the police record this, and I would definitely find out who was sending the letters if they are not coming through the normal mail. Webcams are very small these days and can be easily concealed.

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To be fair to the police:

- They did log it in their system (they log every call)

- I asked for advice on how to handle it rather than a formal request for help

- They offered to send someone round to visit (community support officer)

- I got a human being giving advice based on their experience rather than some kind of automated or scripted response

I get that if I wanted to pursue this as harrassment then under they law they'd be obliged to pursue. I'm just not sure that's a great use of police time when I'm not afraid of the person. I think the person sending this is either old, lonely, or a bit odd and without a sense of perspective.

It is interested to take the temperature though and realise that perhaps I'm more laid back about this than the typical HPC'er. Not sure whether that says more about me than HPC!

I really want this person to understand the harm they've caused by their inappropriate actions over what seems now to be regarded as an unreasonable complaint. And I want to do this without bothering or involving everyone else on the streets.

We are very good friends with the neighbours, if it's them I'll eat my hat (theirs are the children that play with ours in each others' gardens).

edit: also, the letters are printed and were sent by mail, postmarked much further south London - too cowardly even to come to the door!

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It is interested to take the temperature though and realise that perhaps I'm more laid back about this than the typical HPC'er. Not sure whether that says more about me than HPC!

I really want this person to understand the harm they've caused by their inappropriate actions over what seems now to be regarded as an unreasonable complaint. And I want to do this without bothering or involving everyone else on the streets.

Unless you know who it is you can't deal with it that way.

You could call a meeting of residents and invite everyone to your house (or the pub) and discuss the nutjob[1] who is sending weird letters about kids to people.

[1] Use any term of phrase that will instantly make people be concerned about the nutjob (referring to them as a paedo might be a bit strong but you will put the cat amongst the daily mail readers for sure that way)

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http://www.advicegui...ur_disputes.htm

"Children

Noisy children

Noisy children in themselves are not a 'nuisance'. If someone is disturbed by a neighbour's children, for example, a shift worker who wants to sleep during the day, the only real solution is a conciliatory approach to the neighbour."

Noisy children are one hell of a nuisance especially if you need to sleep during the day. My parents live in a terrace next to a couple who have two or three kids out in the small garden screaming during the day and I don't know how they put up with that, or the parents screaming their names. That sort of noise ought to remain indoors out of respect for neighbours, the garden is only about 30ft x 25ft.

Had the person approached you or included contact details, you could have got to why the noise is frustrating and might have been able to work around it e.g. keep them indoors for a couple of hours while the other person sleeps until a set time. It's possible they're a bit of a nightmare neighbour. It's also possible that they're unhinged - certainly sounds like it. Is it also possible that your kids are being noisy? But then that's a subjective word.

Since I live somewhere rural, I notice "background noise" a lot more. I have trouble sleeping at my parents place because it's so noisy at night (cars going past outside, random tiny noises from up to a mile away - I'm used to total, complete silence) so it's possible that the complainant is especially sensitive to it. But then perhaps they should have stayed somewhere rural in that case as far away from everyone else as possible. You never get anything approaching silence in urban areas.

You could post copies of the letters to all of the neighbours and see if anyone else has got one. If the sender receives their copies back can see it's BCC'd to 50 other houses, and you point out your concerns about the references they might very well keep quiet then.

Something like that happened to me at work once when the bitch of a buyer decided to implicate and publicly criticise me in a rather nasty note dropped into a few peoples intrays after she thought I'd gone for the night. But I hadn't. I wasn't meant to see it. So when I came back and found it on the top of someone's intray I took photocopies with a written note "This is the sort of person you're working with" or similar and left those in everyone's intrays on the entire Trading Floor before going. Nothing more was ever said.

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Noisy children are one hell of a nuisance especially if you need to sleep during the day. My parents live in a terrace next to a couple who have two or three kids out in the small garden screaming during the day and I don't know how they put up with that, or the parents screaming their names. That sort of noise ought to remain indoors out of respect for neighbours, the garden is only about 30ft x 25ft.

Had the person approached you or included contact details, you could have got to why the noise is frustrating and might have been able to work around it e.g. keep them indoors for a couple of hours while the other person sleeps until a set time. It's possible they're a bit of a nightmare neighbour. It's also possible that they're unhinged - certainly sounds like it. Is it also possible that your kids are being noisy? But then that's a subjective word.

Kids are noisy. If parents are supposed to lock them up during the day we may as well give up as a society right now. I don't see why kids can't play and make noise in their own garden.

Also, what about ear plugs? That's what I've always used when I've been disturbed by noise when trying to sleep.

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Kids are noisy. If parents are supposed to lock them up during the day we may as well give up as a society right now. I don't see why kids can't play and make noise in their own garden.

Also, what about ear plugs? That's what I've always used when I've been disturbed by noise when trying to sleep.

My Hi-Fi is noisy. But if I want to listen to music in the garden I'd probably wear headphones rather than drag one of the speakers so it faces out of the back door into the garden and turn it up really loud. Even indoors there's a limit to how loud I'll have it, which is at a threshold that I think the neighbour won't be troubled by, and check to see if he is in before I put it on loud.

Some people like the noise of children and find it really endearing, others hate it. But then that was a point I made, if you can't stand the noise of children, don't go and live in an urban area.

I think there is a distinction to be made, between the excited occasional sound of kids playing, and those who make a lot of noise with their parents screaming their names from the back door adding to the cacophony over a period of several hours as happens at parents place. If I lived there, I'd be inclined to go for the speakers option in the garden just to return the discourtesy, except that it would also ruin other peoples enjoyment too.

But then, perhaps, I am Victor Medrew, and claim my £5.

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The neighbours have had another letter. This time they claim to speak for another road, have claimed to CC in our landlord again (the neighbours that received the letter have a different landlord) and claim to be keeping a diary now.

This is getting a bit ridiculous now.

Have you asked the landlord if any previous tenants have been subjected to a hate campaign? Maybe the kids are just an excuse.

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Kids are noisy. If parents are supposed to lock them up during the day we may as well give up as a society right now. I don't see why kids can't play and make noise in their own garden.

Also, what about ear plugs? That's what I've always used when I've been disturbed by noise when trying to sleep.

I dont mind childrens noise....but sometimes they are allowed to scream relentlessly.

Failing to stop the screaming is anti social.

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