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Catch22

Need Advice Re Mortgage For Property In Russia

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Family member works in oil industry in former Soviet Republic. Married to a Russian, wishes to buy an apartment in Moscow outskirts. Apartment will be his and his wife's place of residence, but mother-in-law and step daughter will live in the apartment as well, whilst he and wife work in Ex Soviet Republic, company apartment supplied. Something about Russian law, you need to have somewhere to live to obtain "internal" Russian passport that entiiles you to live in a particulare part of the country [don't ask]

Whats his best bet regards a mortgage [£60K] he is paid in US dollars so I'm assuming it would it be better to have a US dollar mortgage. When I was out in Moscow recently, I found people prefered US dollars to Russian roubles, not interested in GBP.

Cheers

Catch22

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its always tricky trying to locate and secure a safe house within the iron curtain. though it can be done.

you will first have to apprach MI6 with your case. if satisfactory the committe will issue a legend for you to assume.

you will then travel by areoflot to geneva and meet alec gellis. 222 rue de calleir. hand over your uk passport to him and return to the uk using your legend identity. within a week fly back direct to moscow, then onto minsk. once past the internal police checkpoints take the 3rd black zil and head for the safe datcha on the black sea coast.

in the datcha is enough vladmir vodka to bribe minks authority mortgage advisor 223 into approving that mortgage for you. once secured all you have to do is arrange the transfer of the deeds from your legend back into your UK identity using the cover as a corporate asset transfer.

if in doubt use the diplomatic bag to refresh your papers.

Edited by right_freds_dead

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how come i cant see those cool smileys on my megre panel ?

all i can get are lols and they dont work anymore since the upgrade.

uzi ?

do you have a 40 watt pulse rifle with lazer sighting ?

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From my experiences in Russia (5 Years) I can tell you exactly what you should do.

First, find the £60K in Dollars by whatever means(Family Member etc), make sure it's 100 Dollar bills and that are crisp and clean and pack it in a big brown envelope.

Travel to Russia, Moscow.

Meet your family member, wife and family members.

You will be invited to a restaurant (Pectopah) and will enjoy a pleasant evening with your newly extended family, slightly offset by the ear bleeding volume of the yamaha organ and local volcalist.

During this time you will have a visitor join you table(he can smell the Dollars), he will be introduced as a family friend and will sit grinning at the end of table.

All of a sudden a bottle of Vodka will appear, a polite smile and nod will follow from the visitor (Lets call him Vadim [FSB]) it will be suggested that you have some Vodka a propose a toast (Tost Za), this will seem like good fun.

After about the third toast you will find yourself invited to sit opposite Vadim and difficultly translated through you family friends you will have a conversation, mainly consisting of nods, smiles and laughter.

Now the night will finish, you are feeling rather worse but happy for the Vodka and the family travels home, you are sat next to Vadim in the car.

Everbody gets dropped off enters their dwellings however Vadim follows(strange), everybody goes to bed apart from You, your male family member and Vadim, you sit accross the table from Vadim with a bottle of Vodka between you and 3 glasses.

More Vodka flows, you slip into a semi-concious state as Vadim becomes your best friend, you don't remember much else.

Morning comes, you feel like you have died twice over, and slouch into the living room, Vadim is awake bright eyed and bushy tailed he gives you a hard slap on the back and insists you go out to show you the sites of Moscow.

You ride thought Moscow your head spinning like a washing machine, Vadim and your family member by you r side.

A restaurant is the venue, more food, and what a suprise a bottle of Vodka; Vadim want's talk Business but first you must go to freshen up after along night he suggest's.

You cross the street to a small near derelict building, a strange panic goes though you mind and it then rested by your pounding hangover, you enter the building it's Hot and lined with Pine, A sauna maybe you think , that would be nice I could do to relax.

Yes you were right, great, you sit in the warm anti-rooms smoking, drinking telling jokes (that you now realise are acecdote's[very hard to understand why they are amusing]), 3 guys sat in towels chewing the cud, great way to recover.

To you suprise 3 girls enter the room giggling.................................

Sorry must stop now, however you can subscribe to my website at "StrangeRussianExperiences.com"

Nazdarovia

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From my experiences in Russia (5 Years) I can tell you exactly what you should do.

First, find the £60K in Dollars by whatever means(Family Member etc), make sure it's 100 Dollar bills and that are crisp and clean and pack it in a big brown envelope.

Travel to Russia, Moscow.

Meet your family member, wife and family members.

You will be invited to a restaurant (Pectopah) and will enjoy a pleasant evening with your newly extended family, slightly offset by the ear bleeding volume of the yamaha organ and local volcalist.

During this time you will have a visitor join you table(he can smell the Dollars), he will be introduced as a family friend and will sit grinning at the end of table.

All of a sudden a bottle of Vodka will appear, a polite smile and nod will follow from the visitor (Lets call him Vadim [FSB]) it will be suggested that you have some Vodka a propose a toast (Tost Za), this will seem like good fun.

After about the third toast you will find yourself invited to sit opposite Vadim and difficultly translated through you family friends you will have a conversation, mainly consisting of nods, smiles and laughter.

Now the night will finish, you are feeling rather worse but happy for the Vodka and the family travels home, you are sat next to Vadim in the car.

Everbody gets dropped off enters their dwellings however Vadim follows(strange), everybody goes to bed apart from You, your male family member and Vadim, you sit accross the table from Vadim with a bottle of Vodka between you and 3 glasses.

More Vodka flows, you slip into a semi-concious state as Vadim becomes your best friend, you don't remember much else.

Morning comes, you feel like you have died twice over, and slouch into the living room, Vadim is awake bright eyed and bushy tailed he gives you a hard slap on the back and insists you go out to show you the sites of Moscow.

You ride thought Moscow your head spinning like a washing machine, Vadim and your family member by you r side.

A restaurant is the venue, more food, and what a suprise a bottle of Vodka; Vadim want's talk Business but first you must go to freshen up after along night he suggest's.

You cross the street to a small near derelict building, a strange panic goes though you mind and it then rested by your pounding hangover, you enter the building it's Hot and lined with Pine, A sauna maybe you think , that would be nice I could do to relax.

Yes you were right, great, you sit in the warm anti-rooms smoking, drinking telling jokes (that you now realise are acecdote's[very hard to understand why they are amusing]), 3 guys sat in towels chewing the cud, great way to recover.

To you suprise 3 girls enter the room giggling.................................

Sorry must stop now, however you can subscribe to my website at "StrangeRussianExperiences.com"

Nazdarovia

my friend had a bad experience with russianbrides.com. he foolishly told them the streets in britian were paved with gold.

he is still recovering in hospital! :huh:

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Thanks one and all clever.gif

hey Shaker the girls are something else, get the early models fed in their early years on a balanced soviet plenty veg non factory produced fatty food diet and they are real lookers. The post McDonalds models tend to fatten out alot.

Traffic in Moscow is murder, the joke is somebody rings you up mid journey asking how long you are going to be before you arrrive at the agreed meeting point. Of course nobody has a clue how long it takes, so you reply " we are just passing McDonalds" they are every where. :rolleyes:

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  • 302 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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