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The Saver's Progress

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... and Saver arrived at the valley of RISK. RISK lived deep at the bottom at the valley. The villagers of the local hamlet, Muneetirism, had beaten off RISK as far as possible into the valley - they liked to keep RISK as low as possible. Sometimes when they had some hard work to do they took on RISK to help them plough their fields, or to uproot unwanted trees; but they always made sure they kept RISK on a tight leash, giving it the correct rewards for its help. Saver spent a few pleasant days with the Muniteerists, as they were a happy bunch and were content to enjoy the fruits of their toil.

One day an evil wizard called Brun entered the village of Muneetirism. Brun looked joyous and peaceful, but he kept hidden a dark secret; once upon a time he had been bitten by RISK, and RISK's vile poison still coursed through his veins.

One by one the merry villagers of Muneetirism invited Brun round for supper, as he seemed such a pleasant chap and as frankly, dear reader, they were a bit naive. As he met with each household he told them a very strange tale; apparently the beast they had previously sought to tame was actually their friend! They had mistaken his songs of friendship for threatening growls.

The first household that Brun visited listened initially with disbelief, but then they relented - perhaps RISK wasn't so bad afterall? The head of the household, Mr Eckwatee, was gripped by Brun's cunning plan: apparently, the more you allowed RISK to grow, the more work it would do for you. Muniteerists were generally sensible, but from time to time they were prone to getting very excited. Mr Eckwatee became very excited, and ran off to the bottom of the valley.

There he fed the RISK, watching it quickly grow and grow. Then Mr Eckwatee put the RISK to work - with ease the RISK set about collecting the Muniteerists favourite food, Assles. The RISK plucked them from all over the great Assle grove that grew near Muneetirism, such that before long a huge pile of Assles of all different shapes and sizes was heaped at Mr Eckwatee's feet.

The sight of Mr Equity's mound of Assles drove the other Muniteerists into a frenzy. They all rushed up the RISK, imploring it to come with them and work for them and offering armfuls of Ioues, the RISK's favourite food. Saver was stunned by this madness; the RISK was now twice the height it had been when Saver first arrived at Muneetirism, but the Muneetirists kept on feeding him.

Then something very odd happened. The RISK, now ten times its previous size after being been fed Ioues by so many households, suddenly gave birth to more RISK. The baby-sized RISK looked quite fair compared to their parent, but the Muneetirists were so shocked by this strange event that they stopped feeding the RISK their Ioues.

"Do not be afraid!" shouted Brun. "They will not hurt you - all you must do is keep feeding the RISK, otherwise the big RISK might blow its top". Noticing how big the big RISK was, they didn't stop to question Brun, and rushed off to find more Ioues to feed the big RISK and all the little RISK. Saver was now wondering how to get out of Muneetirism quickly before something bad happened; he didn't trust Brun at all.

He tried to reason with the Muneetirists, but they were too busy gathering their last remaining Ioues. "Don't feed them anymore, they will just grow bigger and bigger and you'll never be able to control them!" he shouted, but to no avail. The Muneetirists were hungry now as they didn't have time to eat their lovely Assles, which were beginning to go rotten. But even more dangerously, they were running out of Ioues to feed the RISK. Saver, who had not yet fed any RISK, retreated to the edge of Muneetirism and munched on an Assle that nobody seemed to want anymore.

The last remaining household in Muneetirism was owned by Mr and Mrs Plusgrandfoll. They had tried not to get caught up with the RISK madness, and were content with the few Assles they had. But eventually they got tired of being the only ones not running around feeding their Ioues to the RISK, and wondered if they might be entitled to more Assles like everyone else. (They hadn't yet noticed that everyone else's Assles were now rotting where they lay).

They invited a particularly big RISK into their home, expecting it to run off and fetch vast quantities of Assles. But the RISK was so very great, and so severe in temperament, that when it saw the limited Ioues the Plusgrandfolls had, it became angry, and jumped onto their house. The Plusgrandfoll tried hard to keep the RISK from crushing them, but it was no good - they were crushed flat.

The other Muneetirists, unused to such violence from the RISK, were terrified, and attempted to run away from the RISK as fast as they could. But the RISK were now too big and too strong to let the Muneetirists escape, and at once became angry when the Muneetirists stopped feeding them Ioues. They proceeded to bound and crush every single one.

Brun, unconcerned for the poor Muneetirists and not scared of the dreaded RISK (for they had not developed a taste for his Ioues), set about collecting the remaining Assles. Despite being maggoty and stinking, he loved to hoard this fruit, such was his insane greed.

Saver looked on aghast as the Muneetirists were wiped out. Fearing for his life he fled the valley of RISK. Before he started sprinting along to the path to Sansdebtville, he remembered to leave a warning for others:

"Here be RISK: Enter at your peril!"

As he ran off, Saver swore to himself that he never endure the sight of such RISK again...

Edited by RichM

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in an ironic twist......it's probably a more risky strategy now to be risk-averse

we know that the powers that be are trying to erode our freedom/savings by making us all debt slaves and depleting us of any spare income we may have.

the way to beat it is to play them at their own game and not to bee so free in giving it away to anybody...be it the taxman or a charity.that also means the loyalty you showed your bank for paying you 0.1% for the last 10 years should be binned and your funds placed with the highest bidder.


charity begins at home.

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?

      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%

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