Tiger Woods? Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 We tried to imagine what warnings could be attached to home loans and came up with the following: • Taking a mortgage can cause an obsession with house prices and tedious dinner party conversations. • Failure to maintain monthly repayments can lead to bald men with necks thicker than their heads dropping by to kidnap your children. • Paying off a mortgage is no guarantee of wealth: house prices may have fallen to zero and your home will be worth less than a studio flat in Gdansk. • Cuddly Midlands building societies may sell your home loan to a FFF-rated bank in Iceland. • Taking a mortgage may involve putting down a deposit equal to the national debt of an eastern European country. • Your first home may be a "luxury apartment" consisting of a cupboard with a fold-down bed and a view of the council tip. • Beware of flexi-capped, standard variable rate, near-prime tracker repayment loans with overhanging small print. • Reading a 32-page soul-sapping application form and key facts illustration can lead to sore eyes and nausea and may leave you enslaved to a half-bust bank until you are 78 years old. • Your mortgage adviser may be a spotty 19-year-old who failed GSCE maths. • House prices can go down as well as up. Link to the Guardian blog article here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inflating Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Er, the studio flat in Gdansk price may shock - the prices of apartments in Poland's cities are far from cheap and they are building plenty of them, they're everywhere Wages in Poland are rising to keep up, about 4 to 6 % p/a this past year A 2 bed (would be termed as a 3 room apartment) in a Polish city will probably be on a multiple sole mortgage of 5x to 7x an average office job wage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Self Employed Youth Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Er, the studio flat in Gdansk price may shock - the prices of apartments in Poland's cities are far from cheap and they are building plenty of them, they're everywhere Wages in Poland are rising to keep up, about 4 to 6 % p/a this past year A 2 bed (would be termed as a 3 room apartment) in a Polish city will probably be on a multiple sole mortgage of 5x to 7x an average office job wage Indeed, a woman I know from Gdansk came here, first to London, then the South East, and finally up North. She likes the lifestyle (less strict), and the property prices, will probably buy soon and settle down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
levoleurdefruits Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 There was a young lass from Gdasnk... complete that limerick if you can Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
levoleurdefruits Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 (edited) whoops doublepost Edited March 13, 2012 by levoleurdefruits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rantnrave Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 There was a young lass from Gdansk, Who thought she could handle our banks, With a big deposit down, The mortgage still caused a frown, She went home without even a thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Self Employed Youth Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Agnieska, a bright, young and beautiful Pole. Converted by me, to the dole. Her husband works shifts. And she's soon due child tax credits. They'll have a deposit for a mortgage in the fall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inflating Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Agnieska, a bright, young and beautiful Pole. Converted by me, to the dole. Her husband works shifts. And she's soon due child tax credits. They'll have a deposit for a mortgage in the fall. That was awful, no offence, try this: There once was a girl called Basia, Who thought life in Britain would be flasher, She got a mortgage from Northern Rock, And a boyfriend with a huge career ahead of him, And then had a baby named Asha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Self Employed Youth Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 That was awful, no offence, try this: There once was a girl called Basia, Who thought life in Britain would be flasher, She got a mortgage from Northern Rock, And a boyfriend with a huge career ahead of him, And then had a baby named Asha. Mine is based upon reality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RentingForever Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 That was awful, no offence, try this: There once was a girl called Basia, Who thought life in Britain would be flasher, She got a mortgage from Northern Rock, And a boyfriend with a huge career ahead of him, And then had a baby named Asha. But got screwed by a massive house price crasha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inflating Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Mine is based upon reality. Anyway, apparently you can't get a decent house in Warsaw for under half a million quid. Go to the seaside in Poland and flats cost a huge wad. Some prices in Poland make the UK look good value Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(Blizzard) Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 But got screwed by a massive house price crasha Just off the mainland of France, Stood a country that gave us the chance, To build up a debt, That we'd come to regret, 'Cos you can't feed your kids with finance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger Woods? Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 Er, the studio flat in Gdansk price may shock - the prices of apartments in Poland's cities are far from cheap and they are building plenty of them, they're everywhere Wages in Poland are rising to keep up, about 4 to 6 % p/a this past year A 2 bed (would be termed as a 3 room apartment) in a Polish city will probably be on a multiple sole mortgage of 5x to 7x an average office job wage wtf does this have to do with the OP? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singlemalt Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 • Your mortgage adviser may be a spotty 19-year-old who failed GSCE maths. Patrick Collinson - Ironic FAIL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
levoleurdefruits Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 OK how about this There was a young lady, a Pole who thought the UK would bankroll her lifestyle, her house and everything else She was right, that's the way the dice roll Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Hun Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Er, the studio flat in Gdansk price may shock - the prices of apartments in Poland's cities are far from cheap and they are building plenty of them, they're everywhere Wages in Poland are rising to keep up, about 4 to 6 % p/a this past year A 2 bed (would be termed as a 3 room apartment) in a Polish city will probably be on a multiple sole mortgage of 5x to 7x an average office job wage Nearby Sopot, one bed flat is average of £180k Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
levoleurdefruits Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Nearby Sopot, one bed flat is average of £180k There was a skint man from Sopot Where the weather quite rarely is hot With sunglasses on he moved to Luton And now he earns rather a lot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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