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Txt Tlk Lk A Chav

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"If", by Rudyard Kipling, translated into chav;

If u can keep ur head wen all about u Are losng veirz and blamng it on u, If u can trust fukin urself wen all men doubt u But mayk allowance 4 veir doubtng 2 o, If u can w8 n not be tired by w8ng, Or beng lied about...fuk...dun deal n lies, Or beng h8d..hehe..dun giv way 2 hatng, And yet dun look 2 o gud...lyk...nor talk 2 o wyz: If u fukin can dream--and not mayk dreamz ur master, If u can vnk--and not mayk voughtz ur aim; If u can meet wid Triumf n Disaster And treat vose two impostorz jus da same; If u can bear 2 hear da trud uve spoken Twisted by knavz to mayk a trap 4 fools, Or watch da tingz u gav ur life 2 ..um..broken, And stoop n build em fukin up wid worn-out 2 ols: If u can mayk 1 heap ov all ur wnnngs And risk it all on 1 turn ov pitch-and-toss, And lose...fuk...and start agen at ur begnnngs And neva bread a fukin word about ur loss; If u can 4ce fukin ur heart n nerve n synw To serve ur turn lon afta vey r gone, And so hold on wen vere iz noting n u Except da Will wich sayz to vem: "Hold on!11" If u can talk wid crowdz and keep ur virtue, Or walk wid kngs--nor lose da common 2 uch, If neiva foez nor lovng geezaz can fukin hurt u; If all men count wid u..u no..but none 2 o much, If u can fill da un4givng mnute Wid sixty seconds wurf ov distance fukin run, urz iz de Earf n evriting vatz n it, And--which iz more--ull be a Man..hehe..mi son!

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Guest Charlie The Tramp

160 characters for 5p and all they can say is:

I luv u do u luv me.

Ban it I say, send the guilty to the penal colonies with a dose of hard labour thrown in. :rolleyes:

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?

      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%

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