Guest_FaFa!_* Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 You can reply with the "I found it under the stairs" gag if you want. This forum is filled with angry, miserable and lonely people but I was wondering if anyone would consider themselves as having found or experienced serenity. If so, I was wondering how it happened, a gradual process or sudden realisation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 You can reply with the "I found it under the stairs" gag if you want. This forum is filled with angry, miserable and lonely people but I was wondering if anyone would consider themselves as having found or experienced serenity. If so, I was wondering how it happened, a gradual process or sudden realisation? Yes. I have found myself in the last year feeling incredibly content in life, despite my moans about house prices, lack of a relationship, lack of work and recovering from ill health. So much so that I have actually begun to wonder whether my journey here is almost over but, in reality, it probably just means that a new journey is about to begin. A friend recently commented that I had scaled a high mountain and now have an even higher mountain to climb. I am an avid fan of the writing of Elisabeth Kubler Ross. She theorised that we all come here to learn life lessons and then, once we have learnt them, we move on. In the past year, rather arrogantly most probably, I have begun to wonder if I have learnt my life lessons and whether it is time for me to now move on. Now that I have verbalised these thoughts in writing I suspect the Universe is about to slap me with a huge kipper. Edit: As to how it happened - gradual process, but one that came about as the result of a number of things going back 40 odd years to my childhood. The catalyst being my Mum coming to the end of her life, combined with the break-up of a relationship, juggling a really stressful job and then a legal battle with siblings on top of it all. Resulted in myself becoming very ill, falling over and, without going into detail, going to a very dark, lonely place. I needed help, asked the Universe for help, and some pretty amazing people came into my life which resulted in myself reading, learning and understanding a great about myself, what was driving me, that I was not responsible for other people's actions and that - here is the important bit - that I was doing the best I could in the circumstances in which I found myself. I read a lot - a lot about life, about personality disorders, about dying, about near-death experiences, about spirituality, took up meditation, investigated other spiritual beliefs, changed my diet and eventually changed my whole outlook on myself and on other people. Oh, and don't laugh, I watched a great deal of Star Trek and Stargate. There is so much really clever stuff in Star Trek if you open up your mind. This is a quite profound scene from Deep Space Nine where the main character meets, for the first time, timeless 'Prophets' beings who take on the form of people in his life. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYIF35LoF94&feature=related Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Depends on what you mean by inner peace. I am pretty cheery most of the time. My job in life is to have as much fun and do as many things as possible before I crock it. So far doing a pretty good job of it. Although probably a little too much bevvy involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freeholder Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I get the occasional zen like perfect moment. Usually when operating my favourite gun. http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Browning+B25&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=ktV&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&channel=np&prmd=imvnsfd&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=zFeLTrzKIoO58gPduMTMBA&ved=0CCQQsAQ&biw=1600&bih=695 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I'm getting there. I am now doing what I've always wanted to do, so in that respect, I can't complain. You don't have to tell us all when you are choking the chicken. Keep it yourself eh. This is a serious thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 TMT, I always like your helpful posts and your take on things, hell you even spotted when I was in a dark place. I hope you eventually get all those things which currently allude you. (If you move out of Wales, that might be a start.) Thanks... I think you are right... I just have to get my head around it now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 My new running shoes arrived today, just in time for the Great South run at the end of the month. Let's hope the ole man can do it in the same time as last time eh. How is it going ? Did you give a try to the whole barefoot/forefoot running thing ? I am just getting back into it now after a long lay off due to a drinking injury. What a tool I am. Planning on doing a triathlon next year. This is quite relevant to finding inner peace actually. The first few minutes recovering after a serious bout of intense exercise must be up there. Can't be many better feelings in life. Being perfectly honest I prefer it these days to banging a burd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Not going badly thanks. Got my new Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 today! I'm up to 6 miles and I've ten more scheduled runs until the great day. No I never gave the bear foot running thing a go, I still may. I may even attempt to give up drinking for the next three weeks! Good luck !! Good luck with the triathlon, I think sex might still be better though. You have clearly never met a burd I have banged. I can assure you the sex is not better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
libspero Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Inner peace.. does it have something to do with cool aid and horsemen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddog21 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 It's easy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Sacks Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 You can reply with the "I found it under the stairs" gag if you want. This forum is filled with angry, miserable and lonely people but I was wondering if anyone would consider themselves as having found or experienced serenity. If so, I was wondering how it happened, a gradual process or sudden realisation? Yeah, I think I've found it. I had to fall apart first, three years ago. And then out of the blue my wife walks out and I'm indifferent about it. I've spent most of my life surrounded by people with serious personality disorders who have an inflated sense of entitlement and place all kind of demands on the people around them. Understanding this, and questioning my own social conditioning was the breakthrough for me. Great thread BTW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest_FaFa!_* Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 I needed help, asked the Universe for help, and some pretty amazing people came into my life which resulted in myself reading, learning and understanding a great about myself, what was driving me, that I was not responsible for other people's actions and that - here is the important bit - that I was doing the best I could in the circumstances in which I found myself.tic I read a lot - a lot about life, about personality disorders, about dying, about near-death experiences, about spirituality, took up meditation, investigated other spiritual beliefs, changed my diet and eventually changed my whole outlook on myself and on other people. My wife is a great believer in fate also which is something I have always been doubted but recently am not so sure. How do you know it is the Universe (I assume you avoided the word God due to the Abrahamic religions connatation?) and not coincidence? I regret that you find this forum full of "angry, miserable and lonely people" - it's not how I find it. I was being a bit tongue in cheek - but maybe it is the threads I choose to read! But I do feel there is (naturally) a lot of unhappy people here and I think some people on here are actually deeply unhappy whilst hiding behind a veneer. Many castigate the greed but actually seem prone to it themselves. I find HPC to be a great place to hang out generally. Yeah, I think I've found it. I had to fall apart first, three years ago. then out of the blue my wife walks out and I'm indifferent about it. I've spent most of my life surrounded by people with serious personality disorders who have an inflated sense of entitlement and place all kind of demands on the people around them. Understanding this, and questioning my own social conditioning was the breakthrough for me. Great thread BTW. You fell apart before your wife left? Do you mind talking about it? Modern life appears to have created large numbers of people with a lack of proportion and insight. This is what I most worry about in the UK - I feel the poison has run extremely deep. I am generally speaking peaceful, but I wouldn't say happy. I had a really miserable childhood which means I generally expect things to go wrong and therefore don't get upset when they do. I also don't trust people easily (or at all) and assume conventional wisdom is wrong, which is what led me to this forum in the first place. This will sound stupid, but I often feel there is a really important insight or maybe memory that I am missing. Like when you know you have forgotten something or cannot work something out only to realise what it was later on - and it was something really obvious and simple and you go "oh yeah...of course! duh!" (only far more intense) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Many people here were talking of a debt driven bubble, when there was no mention of this by politicians, or in the press. I think that makes us realists. Not sure I would like the "inner peace" of not thinking of these things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Sacks Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 You fell apart before your wife left? Do you mind talking about it? Modern life appears to have created large numbers of people with a lack of proportion and insight. This is what I most worry about in the UK - I feel the poison has run extremely deep. I am generally speaking peaceful, but I wouldn't say happy. I had a really miserable childhood which means I generally expect things to go wrong and therefore don't get upset when they do. I also don't trust people easily (or at all) and assume conventional wisdom is wrong, which is what led me to this forum in the first place. This will sound stupid, but I often feel there is a really important insight or maybe memory that I am missing. Like when you know you have forgotten something or cannot work something out only to realise what it was later on - and it was something really obvious and simple and you go "oh yeah...of course! duh!" (only far more intense) Yes, I fell apart three years ago when I was still "working for The Man". My first step towards happiness was to quit the job and start doing something I actually enjoyed without worrying too much about the pay. Then three weeks ago she walks out. OK, she's only across the field from me and we share the kids, but I'm not really bothered and I think to be true to myself I don't want her back. Like most people she's got emotional problems and won't help herself deal with them. I've spent my life dealing with the problems of others. My parents are a mess mentally and have only got worse as time's gone on, despite medication and therapy. The bit I highlighted above could have been written about me and I suspect that there's many people who would say the same about themselves. We all have arbitrary expectations placed on us from birth. Our success is measured with a yardstick that is not our own; personal achievements, career plans, etc. None of these things pay any regard to who we are as people, no wonder there is so much discontent. I think the realisation of this, although maybe not obvious, is what draws people to forums like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 My wife is a great believer in fate also which is something I have always been doubted but recently am not so sure. How do you know it is the Universe (I assume you avoided the word God due to the Abrahamic religions connatation?) and not coincidence? When you open yourself up to new possibilities... some really amazing things begin to happen re insight, physical happenings view of the Universe. There is no point in me writing more about this as, simply, you probably have to experience it to believe it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I am generally speaking peaceful, but I wouldn't say happy. I had a really miserable childhood which means I generally expect things to go wrong and therefore don't get upset when they do. I also don't trust people easily (or at all) and assume conventional wisdom is wrong, which is what led me to this forum in the first place. This will sound stupid, but I often feel there is a really important insight or maybe memory that I am missing. Like when you know you have forgotten something or cannot work something out only to realise what it was later on - and it was something really obvious and simple and you go "oh yeah...of course! duh!" (only far more intense) You need to go through some kind of counselling to get in touch with your inner child. The sense of something being wrong or missing memories is common with someone who is hiding something deep within their subconcious - hurt from the past that is causing problems today, tomorrow and for the rest of your life. Your inner child, in one sense, is protecting you from addressing these issues but, at the same time, your inner child needs to be healed and you can only do this by confronting the issues from your past. It sounds silly but it actually works and is often life transforming when, after a series of counselling, the penny drops, the last piece of the jigsaw fits into place and suddenly all the things that have happened in your life are understood due to things that happened long, long ago. People do cr*p things to kids and those kids then grow into adults and carry those hurts all their lives, often passing those hurts onto others. The people who made your childhood miserable may have been doing the best they could and/or they could have been unknowingly passing on the same hurts that they too experience as children. It is up to you to break the loop - get some counselling, one that will allow you to discover your inner child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffneck Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Only in regard to material possessions.Hard for me to think of things that i want apart from the basics like food etc. I doubt i will be fully content until the private banking cartel is destroyed and we can have some semblance of a fair society again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riedquat Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I regret that you find this forum full of "angry, miserable and lonely people" - it's not how I find it. I resent that. I'm angry, miserable, and lonely, and I despise half the other posters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeDavola Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Not at peace. Not happy. I had a bit of an epiphany recently as to what is really missing in my life, and to how badly this hole in my life is affecting me. I firmly believe that happiness is for the most part, having healthy relationships with others. Emphasis on the word healthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riedquat Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I firmly believe that happiness is for the most part, having healthy relationships with others. Emphasis on the word healthy. The first requirement for happiness is not having to worry about basic survival (starving, freezing etc.) After that it's good surroundings and good company.The UK is hell-bent on making both of those worse, which is why I'm usually depressed and angry (particularly because when it gets them right I love it). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AThirdWay Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 You can reply with the "I found it under the stairs" gag if you want. This forum is filled with angry, miserable and lonely people but I was wondering if anyone would consider themselves as having found or experienced serenity. If so, I was wondering how it happened, a gradual process or sudden realisation? Funnily enough, the 'It's over' thread by right_freds_dead had me thinking exactly the same thing. There have been lot's of posters with a particular chip on their shoulder that have come and gone, and mostly I ignore them. Or rip the pi55 if they annoy me! Right_freds_dead thread was a comment on the financial turmoil he see's in the future, and the effect it has on society. I don't share his opinion (although I think there's some financial 'pain' ahead) but if I did, I certainly wouldn't let it get to me the way he seems to have. I replied to the "Uk Has Worst Quality Of Life Ineurope" thread by Sour Mash recently, outlining why life is good for me now, and has been for several years. If I were to allow worries about the future to bite away at me, then I too might end up thinking like right_freds_dead. What's the point? I think I've nicked this from a Black Sabbath tune, but "live for today, for tomorrow never comes"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahBell Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 You can reply with the "I found it under the stairs" gag if you want. This forum is filled with angry, miserable and lonely people but I was wondering if anyone would consider themselves as having found or experienced serenity. If so, I was wondering how it happened, a gradual process or sudden realisation? No the peas are in the freezer. I have a home, love, family. And an allotment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Not at peace. Not happy. I had a bit of an epiphany recently as to what is really missing in my life, and to how badly this hole in my life is affecting me. I firmly believe that happiness is for the most part, having healthy relationships with others. Emphasis on the word healthy. I would agree with that.....and to be thankful for what you do have and not to take anyone or anything for granted...also knowing that whatever bad things you feel or are going through you have the power to change it and learn from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19 year mortgage 8itch Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Not a chance. I'm not afraid to admit I struggle with modern life, far too many balls to juggle. I have, a couple of times, been somewhere, doing something where I have had a feeling of complete contentment. I would like to be in that place more often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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