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Keeping Up Appearances: Jane's Husband Doesn't Have A Job Any More. . . And She Can Barely Live With The Shame

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2042213/Janes-husband-doesnt-job---barely-live-shame.html

The children still have pony lessons, she's kept on the cleaner, but, financially AND emotionally, her gilded world is falling apart. One woman's story of how fragile our middle-class lives can be. . .

At supper one day, our eight-year-old daughter Emily announces that she has an idea. ‘It’s about a new job for Daddy,’ she says, ‘I saw it on the back of a bus. Daddy, you could train as a bus driver and earn £125 a day.’

My husband, Andy, winces. My eyes fill with tears. He’s got a History degree from Cambridge, a Masters degree in Business, and years of senior experience in strategic management.

Bus driving wasn’t exactly the future he’d planned.

He makes a joke of it, gives Emily a hug — but yet again his self-esteem takes a knock, an all-too-regular event these days.

By the time Emily spotted the advert on the bus, he’d been jobless for two years. She could hardly remember a time when Daddy went to an office.

We were once a typical middle-class family — comfortable, not super-rich, children in good state schools but with private lessons for tennis and riding. Skiing in February, a nice hotel in Italy or Spain in the summer.

Clearly not a very good strategic manager??? Too harsh?

You take what you can find, having loads of qualifications doesn't guarantee you anything and mostly it's about who you know rather than what you know.

Although if you hadn't blown stupid money on private tennis lessons etc... and planned a bit more strategically I'm betting life now would be OK and you wouldn't be feeling so dejected.

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Were there not some bin jobs going in Southampton?

Maybe he could apply for one of those.... :unsure:

Edit to add... There is still far to much denial in the system.. These are the sorts of people who beleive the World owes them.....

We’ve managed to keep up Jack’s tennis lessons and Emily’s riding, with help from my parents. I know they’d do anything to help us — but it still felt humiliating when I paid their cheque into our account.

Even worse was applying for a bursary so that Jack could go abroad with his cricket team. I knew it was the only way we could afford it; I knew he’d be upset if he couldn’t go. But the thought of people in the cricket club — our peers, our equals — judging our need, made me feel physically sick.

Edited by geezer466

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I’m confident we’ll never get into that situation. We are lucky to have equity in our house — thank goodness that we never traded up and saddled ourselves with a massive mortgage.

So, not taking benefits but living off the next generation instead. I'll bet they're taking SMI though.

Four years unemployed, history degree from Cambridge, and won't consider teaching. Has this guy got some sort of allergy to index-linked pensions? ;)

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If he's desperate for a job, why not drive a bus for a bit? Sounds like he could earn a fair wedge out of it..Oh, it doesn't fit his "social image"...

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article-2042213-0E198FFE00000578-750_634x577.jpg

And our belief in the future has completely dwindled away.

welcome to the world of the following generations for whom freelance work strategic management and the prospect of owning a home and raising a family are non-existent

We still have a cleaner once a week...we treat ourselves to a night out at the cinema every week.

??

Edited by Si1

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Far too much sneering here and not half enough sympathy. This could happen to anyone and I suspect most of the sneerer's wouldn't take their own advice if it came to it and would feel exactly the same if they were in the position of this family.

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respect - for some of the finest management gobbledogook I have ever heard:

‘I’d love to win the Lottery,’ he says, ‘because then I could do things that would define me better than any job could do.’

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Far too much sneering here and not half enough sympathy. This could happen to anyone and I suspect most of the sneerer's wouldn't take their own advice if it came to it and would feel exactly the same if they were in the position of this family.

I suspect it already HAS happened to many on this board, I remember my own dad's redundancy 20 years ago, except this family have a better lifestyle than my family did BEFORE my dad's redundancy

Edited by Si1

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Far too much sneering here and not half enough sympathy. This could happen to anyone and I suspect most of the sneerer's wouldn't take their own advice if it came to it and would feel exactly the same if they were in the position of this family.

Yes only having a cleaner once a week in, clearly on the poverty line. I'll send the one I have in seven days a week round to help out.

There I feel better already.

Edited by interestrateripoff

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Yes only having a cleaner once a week in, clearly on the poverty line. I'll send the one I have in twice a week round to help out.

There I feel better already.

still, the main thing is to keep people born since the 1970s locked out of home ownership, good for the economy y'know

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Far too much sneering here and not half enough sympathy. This could happen to anyone and I suspect most of the sneerer's wouldn't take their own advice if it came to it and would feel exactly the same if they were in the position of this family.

Naa. The sneerers here probably have useful qualifications and skills that are actually required in the workplace. :P

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Naa. The sneerers here probably have useful qualifications and skills that are actually required in the workplace. :P

like a bus license ;)

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Yes only having a cleaner once a week in, clearly on the poverty line. I'll send the one I have in seven days a week round to help out.

There I feel better already.

There' s far too much sneering here and not nearly enough sympathy.

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There' s far too much sneering here and not nearly enough sympathy.

there's no sympathy required

too proud to take benefits, or too well off, did very very well out of home ownership last decade or so, absolutely milked a fantastic decade for them, still very well of by the majority of peoples' standards

these people are from the lucky generation - the generations born since the 1970s are far worse off when in work, there is absolutely nothing to be sypathetic about here

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I expect the bus driver jobs are inundated with applicants and he would not get a look in. In the meantime he could clean the house. This is the real world. Experience counts for nothing, it's a shame the Wail represents the crisis with a story about asprational middle class clones.

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there's no sympathy required

too proud to take benefits, or too well off, did very very well out of home ownership last decade or so, absolutely milked a fantastic decade for them, still very well of by the majority of peoples' standards

these people are from the lucky generation - the generations born since the 1970s are far worse off when in work, there is absolutely nothing to be sypathetic about here

There's far too much sneering here and not nearly enough sympathy.

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http://www.dailymail...live-shame.html

Clearly not a very good strategic manager??? Too harsh?

You take what you can find, having loads of qualifications doesn't guarantee you anything and mostly it's about who you know rather than what you know.

Although if you hadn't blown stupid money on private tennis lessons etc... and planned a bit more strategically I'm betting life now would be OK and you wouldn't be feeling so dejected.

A typical business degree lecture yesterday:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9F5QL804qQ

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There's far too much sneering here and not nearly enough sympathy.

I disagree. He's been out of work for 2 years. If he can't get a job in that time then there's something wrong somewhere. I've been out of work and the first thing I did was cut back spending and applied for Housing benefit and jobseekers. I spent 6 months on the dole before taking a job I didn't want for a 4-week project. Stayed 8 months, then did some contracting and got back into fulltime employed work that way.

He doesn't need sympathy, he needs a kick up the @rse. Cut the spending. Cut the expectation. Cut the list of everything he deserves.

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There' s far too much sneering here and not nearly enough sympathy.

She feels ashamed because of someone else's unemployment, it suggests she values 'status' above most other things and is unable to accept that things have changed. People lose their jobs, circumstances change, these things happen, there's no shame in that.

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  • 338 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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