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Email To David Cameron

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Was sent to me on email, funny, but true!!!

------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire - ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - housing crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids/grand kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week.....and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading schemes that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.

It can't get any easier than that!

And if more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

If not, please disregard.

Other points you might consider:

Put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home, then the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd also receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc. They'd have constant video monitoring so if assistance was needed they'd have immediate help. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be washed and ironed as needed. There would be a guard to check on them every 20 minutes and staff to bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

There would be private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens for anyone who felt the need to exercise.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls and there would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and all guards would have a code of conduct that would have to be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised day and night. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week; live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week without any hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

******

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that, during the mad cow epidemic, our government could track a single cow, born almost three years ago in Appleby, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria? And, they even tracked her calves to their individual stalls.. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each illegal immigrant a cow.

******

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Parliament, is this -

You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians..... It creates a hostile work environment.

******

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"COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that, during the mad cow epidemic, our government could track a single cow, born almost three years ago in Appleby, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria? And, they even tracked her calves to their individual stalls.. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each illegal immigrant a cow."

Relax, they're only wandering around in your imagination and the pages of the Daily Mail.

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Relax, they're only wandering around in your imagination and the pages of the Daily Mail.

Hardly!

In 2005 the Home Office estimated that the illegal immigrant population in Britain was between 310,000 and 570,000. MigrationWatch put it much higher, around 1.1m

If only it was as little as 125,000...

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"COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that, during the mad cow epidemic, our government could track a single cow, born almost three years ago in Appleby, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria? And, they even tracked her calves to their individual stalls.. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each illegal immigrant a cow."

Relax, they're only wandering around in your imagination and the pages of the Daily Mail.

i wish it were true, but there are a lot of new people in town and no new homes.

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They MUST buy a new British car

First they'll have to buy one of these

DeLorean-on-ebay.jpg

Then you can buy one of these brand new

Sandglow+Allegro3.jpg

The waiting list for a genuine modern British car like the Morgan is around 6 years isn't it?

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In economic terms there are two really really crap ideas that seem to have alot of mindshare at the moment:

1) Gifting cash to everyone: no net wealth creation, just inflation to offset the new money.

2) Gifting cash to a particular group of people: same consequences as above but even worse because it makes some people poorer and some richer in a totally arbitrary manner.

Oh yeah and QE is essentially a varient of #2

Yeah I know its a "joke" email but still - saddens me that HPCers have any sympathy for these ideas.

Edited by goldbug9999

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Giving 10,000,000 people £1,000,000 each would cost £10,000,000,000,000 which is ten trillion pounds! Where is Cameron supposed to get that kind of money from? It's 12 years' total government expenditure!

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Giving 10,000,000 people £1,000,000 each would cost £10,000,000,000,000 which is ten trillion pounds! Where is Cameron supposed to get that kind of money from? It's 12 years' total government expenditure!

Giving people money is allways pointless. The function of money in an economy is so that people can trade things they produce with things other people produce and therefore to induce people into producing something of value. As soon as give someone money for doing nothing you undermine the very basis of the economy (mind you were doing a hell of a lot of it already).

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Giving people money is allways pointless. The function of money in an economy is so that people can trade things they produce with things other people produce and therefore to induce people into producing something of value. As soon as give someone money for doing nothing you undermine the very basis of the economy (mind you were doing a hell of a lot of it already).

That's a bit simplistic. Giving people money to start a wealth-creating business could yield a net economic profit. Giving a benefit-dependent immigrant money to go home might save money in the long run. Giving can be good.

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That's a bit simplistic. Giving people money to start a wealth-creating business could yield a net economic profit.

Giving someone a loan to start a business is fine, gifting is not. Any kind of gifting reduces the scarecity of money which in turn reduces peoples wilingness to produce to aquire it. The reason its such a seductive idea is that the local benefits of the gift are easy to see whereas the the inevitable consequential dilution of moneys value which results from the gift is much wider more subtle effect which in many peoples minds get approximated to zero change.

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Buy a British car???

Rover - gone

Rolls Royce - German

Jaguar - Indian

TVR - Russian

....

Haven't we only got highly specialised manufacturers left?

Noble

Ginetta

Aerial

and a couple others i cant remember

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Noble

Ginetta

Aerial

and a couple others i cant remember

I thought Lotus and then found they were Malaysian :unsure: Complete list of car companies headquartered in UK followss, not no big volume names and only big name is Aston Martin:

AC Cars AC Cars United Kingdom AC MKVI West Norwood n/a

Alexander Dennis Alexander Dennis United Kingdom Enviro 200Dart, Enviro300, Enviro400 Falkirk n/a

Alexander Dennis Alexander Dennis United Kingdom Javelin chassis, R-Series chassis, Enviro300 chassis Guildford n/a

Ariel Ariel United Kingdom Ariel Atom Crewkerne n/a

Ascari Cars Ascari Cars United Kingdom Ascari Ecosse, Ascari A10 Banbury n/a

Aston Martin Lagonda Aston Martin Lagonda[37] United Kingdom One-77, Cygnet, DB9, DBS, Vantage, Virage Gaydon 5,323 (2010)[38]

Bristol Cars Bristol Cars United Kingdom Blenheim, Fighter, Blenheim Speedster Filton n/a

Caterham Cars Caterham Cars United Kingdom R400, CSR260 Dartford 435 (2003)[38]

Ginetta Cars LNT Automotive United Kingdom G20r, G40 Junior, G50 GT4, G50 Cup, G50r, G50 EV, F400 Leeds n/a

LTI Manganese Bronze Holdings United Kingdom TX4 Coventry 2,346 (2003)[38]

Marcos Marcos Engineering United Kingdom TSO Kenilworth n/a

McLaren Automotive McLaren Group United Kingdom MP4-12C Woking 4,000[47]

Morgan Motor Company Morgan Motor Company United Kingdom Morgan Aero 8, Morgan Plus 4 Malvern 1000 (2003)[38]

Noble Automotive Noble Automotive United Kingdom Noble M12, Noble M14 Barwell n/a

Optare Optare Group United Kingdom Solo, Alero Leeds n/a

Plaxton Alexander Dennis United Kingdom Panther, Paragon, Profile, Primo, Centro Scarborough n/a

Plaxton Alexander Dennis United Kingdom Cheetah, Pronto, Beaver Sheffield n/a

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  • 338 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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