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Discussion about 6 yr old child being very upset at being sent to their nans last night.

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I'm sorry I have to disagree with that , Jenny has Katie every day with hardly much help from other half , Jenny is a person in her own right and as such also needs to have her time, being a mom does not mean giving up your life totally and becoming non existent and being known only as Katie's mom and as I understand it Katie does it everytime when going to Nans so when is she meant to have a break? Or as a mom don't you at all. Children live with you not the other way round. That's my opinion and my son gets his quality time with me as well as time away and he is perfectly happy and content :)

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may as well whack them up for adoption if you can't look after them.

*says this as child of parents who had my nan living with us before i was born (gdad passed away) and therefore always had free babysitting* :P

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Eh? Don't see the issue here. Kids like being with their grandparents and grandparents like having them round to stay.

I missed out on this when I was a kid because my grandparents lived so far away but I would have loved to keep staying round there and my parents would have appreciated the ability to go out Saturday nights when me and my siblings were small. Win win IMO.

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Eh? Don't see the issue here. Kids like being with their grandparents and grandparents like having them round to stay.

I missed out on this when I was a kid because my grandparents lived so far away but I would have loved to keep staying round there and my parents would have appreciated the ability to go out Saturday nights when me and my siblings were small. Win win IMO.

That would be the theory: kids like...

This one doesn't. She makes a big fuss about it. Every time.

From what I have been told she doesn't make a fuss about going to the other nan's house but that is a lot less often.

And it's not occaisional, but fairly frequent so mum and dad can go out separately on the piss. (They go out separately other days of the week but Fridays they both want to go out)

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That would be the theory: kids like...

This one doesn't. She makes a big fuss about it. Every time.

From what I have been told she doesn't make a fuss about going to the other nan's house but that is a lot less often.

And it's not occaisional, but fairly frequent so mum and dad can go out separately on the piss. (They go out separately other days of the week but Fridays they both want to go out)

Fuss to be awkward was my thinking there, probably gets more jam sandwiches at the other nan's so wants to go there instead.

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Fuss to be awkward was my thinking there, probably gets more jam sandwiches at the other nan's so wants to go there instead.

What about "Children live with you not the other way round."

You choose to have children, they do not choose their parents.

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What about "Children live with you not the other way round."

You choose to have children, they do not choose their parents.

I would expect all parents to look after their children the majority of the time. Not the great majority or the entirety. Everybody should pursue an independent existence as well, if you do that by having relatives look after your children or reciprocal arrangements with friends then that's fine and dandy and it is good for children to learn to get on with other people and other children.

The mother who devotes herself to her child (as opposed to baby / infant) 24 / 7 is doing them no favours, they'll get bullied for their lack of social skills when they do ever strike out on their own.

I may be a bloke but I have direct experience of this (and not just as a kid!).

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I would expect all parents to look after their children the majority of the time. Not the great majority or the entirety. Everybody should pursue an independent existence as well, if you do that by having relatives look after your children or reciprocal arrangements with friends then that's fine and dandy and it is good for children to learn to get on with other people and other children.

So how often would you expect your kids to be sleeping away from home on an average month?

What's your ballpark figure? And does it vary by age.

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So how often would you expect your kids to be sleeping away from home on an average month?

What's your ballpark figure? And does it vary by age.

4yr old daughter. 2-3 nights every 3 months or so. Gparents.

Didnt emigrate 5-6 yrs ago, so gparents could see gchildren grow up. Gparents have spent more time travelling on coaches with strangers as a pair of grey haired nomads than with gdaughter.

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That would be the theory: kids like...

This one doesn't. She makes a big fuss about it. Every time.

Seems like kids these days make a big fuss about a lot of things...

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So how often would you expect your kids to be sleeping away from home on an average month?

What's your ballpark figure? And does it vary by age.

One night a week is fine IMO, plus the odd weekend and long weekend. Pass on the age thing, as long as they're enjoying the novelty / treat of time with other people they're old enough.

Edit: though I'm not Dr Spock (not the Star Trek one) this is just from my experience.

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4yr old daughter. 2-3 nights every 3 months or so. Gparents.

Didnt emigrate 5-6 yrs ago, so gparents could see gchildren grow up. Gparents have spent more time travelling on coaches with strangers as a pair of grey haired nomads than with gdaughter.

And how many times a week would you and your other half go out separately?

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And how many times a week would you and your other half go out separately?

Me, can't remember the last time. Although might me going out in a while to fill the car up. Mrs J, once every 2-3 wks.

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That would be the theory: kids like...

This one doesn't. She makes a big fuss about it. Every time.

From what I have been told she doesn't make a fuss about going to the other nan's house but that is a lot less often.

And it's not occaisional, but fairly frequent so mum and dad can go out separately on the piss. (They go out separately other days of the week but Fridays they both want to go out)

Can't remember where it was - maybe on here? Anyway a while back there was a similar tale I heard, turned out iirc that the bed the kid was sleeping in was in a really cold corner of the house, I mean really uncomfortable, damp patch of wall, condensing cold into the bed etc.

Anyway, might be worth checking out the sleeping arrangements. Perhaps grandad snores really loudly.

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Discussion about 6 yr old child being very upset at being sent to their nans last night.

I'm sorry I have to disagree with that , Jenny has Katie every day with hardly much help from other half

Sounds like the first issue

Jenny is a person in her own right and as such also needs to have her time

Agree, though when you have children you accept this is going to be compromised

being a mom does not mean giving up your life totally and becoming non existent and being known only as Katie's mom

Agree

and as I understand it Katie does it everytime when going to Nans so when is she meant to have a break?

Why does Katie hate going to Nans? That would actually worry me. Is the child a little bit clingy? What goes on at "Nan's"?

Children live with you not the other way round.

Is a really odd statement or phrasing. Replace the word "children" with the word "budgies" and I'd agree.

That's my opinion and my son gets his quality time with me as well as time away and he is perfectly happy and content :)

That's not the point, though, is it.

Jenny can't simply cast off her daughter's fear/hate expressed every time she's wheeled round to Nan's like you might ignore your dog barking if you leave it indoors for five minutes to nip to the shops to get it some food because you ran out.

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Me, can't remember the last time. Although might me going out in a while to fill the car up. Mrs J, once every 2-3 wks.

So both parents going out 2-4 times a week every week would be slightly excessive?

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Sounds like the first issue

Agree, though when you have children you accept this is going to be compromised

Agree

Why does Katie hate going to Nans? That would actually worry me. Is the child a little bit clingy? What goes on at "Nan's"?

Is a really odd statement or phrasing. Replace the word "children" with the word "budgies" and I'd agree.

That's not the point, though, is it.

Jenny can't simply cast off her daughter's fear/hate expressed every time she's wheeled round to Nan's like you might ignore your dog barking if you leave it indoors for five minutes to nip to the shops to get it some food because you ran out.

And there was me beginning to worry I just wasn't a yummy mummy enough... Although I don't think this particular breed are yummy mummys. Maybe scummy mummys who put themselves way ahead of their kids. And pick the easiest options for them not the best for the kid.

Your point about the budgies is well made.

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Should they have had children in the first place then?

No.

Apparently they thought withdrawal was an adequate method of contraception.

He's a piss head who wets the bed. She's a teenager (in her head) who likes to go out and shag other men.

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Well from what you write, if nanny is a better role model than the parents, perhaps she should be at Grannies more often? :unsure:

Perhaps. Although this is the nanny who thinks the bedwetting in an adult is normal so it really makes me cringe thinking what they must live like.

(and in a way she is probably right. In an alcoholic male it's not uncommon)

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Poor unloved little girl! She's probably just desperate for some sort of indication that her parents have some affection for her. Can me a wimp, but it actually makes me well up a little to hear of kids being treated like this. A good argument for compulsory sterilisation, IMO.

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So both parents going out 2-4 times a week every week would be slightly excessive?

:o

I don't manage that. And I am a single bloke staying at home who enjoys a bevvy more than most.

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:o

I don't manage that. And I am a single bloke staying at home who enjoys a bevvy more than most.

I don't know where she finds the money let alone the energy.

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I don't know where she finds the money let alone the energy.

I think you may have already answered that a few posts back...

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  • 284 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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