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Wedding Speeches (Or Lack Thereof!)

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I'm getting married soon and am bricking it about having to give a speech. Also my best man isn't too confident about giving one either. Instead of us all stressing I have decided not to bother with them.

I think the mother and father of the bride want to say a little something which is fair enough.

I would much rather go round everyone and thank them in person.

Do you think I'm being a chicken and being rude to my guests (as the brides grandmother pointed out to me!) If you were a guest would you think it was rude?

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I'm getting married soon and am bricking it about having to give a speech. Also my best man isn't too confident about giving one either. Instead of us all stressing I have decided not to bother with them.

I think the mother and father of the bride want to say a little something which is fair enough.

I would much rather go round everyone and thank them in person.

Do you think I'm being a chicken and being rude to my guests (as the brides grandmother pointed out to me!) If you were a guest would you think it was rude?

I think your guests would think you had bottled it, which you would. I have done both best man and groom speeches and it really isn't that bad. Write it down now, read it 50 times and read it out on the day. Easy.

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If you do not make a speech you will store up a world of grief for yourself, and quite possibly lay the foundations of your future divorce, on your wedding day. Good plan - not.

You HAVE to thank the key people:

1. Your bride, mention how much you love and adore her, what great eyes she has, how you admire her charm, humour, kindness to small furry animals and HOW you knew she was the one, intend to spend the rest of your life together.

2. Her Mum and Dad.

3. Her key relatives - i.e. sisters, brothers and her kids if she already has some.

4. Your Mum and Dad.

5. Your key relatives - sisters, brothers, your own kids if you have them.

6. Grand-parents, aunts, uncles.

7. Close friends, especially those who helped with the wedding - bridsemaids, etc.

If you do not do this then you will hurt the feelings of all of the above plus store up enemies for the future.

You will also give your future wife a big bat with which to beat you emotionally every single time you have a row - eventually it will be one of the reasons why she tells you that she is leaving you.

Do you get how important it is yet.

I went to a wedding once and the father of the bride refused to make a speech about his daughter - you could have cut the atmosphere in the room with a knife. The bride was almost in tears.

Don't forget, you might not want to make a speech but your bride might make one and will be expecting you to make one. Her dad will also make one so you will feel really uncomfortable when everyone is waiting for your speech.

At the end of the day, to be blunt, if you do not think it is important enough to make a speech then perhaps you should not be getting married, perhaps you do not think your bridge is important enough - bet that one gets thrown at you in the years ahead. :lol::lol::lol:

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I married someone foreign and had the wedding overseas. More than 50% of the attendees would not have understood any sort of speech. My uncle-in-law prepared a poem and it didn't translate into English at all. My father said a small, adlib, speech and my father-in-law then felt bad and said around 10 words.

Having said that, I'm a pretty funny (Pesci-esque) guy so would have liked the opportunity to say something.

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I have also done best man and groom and despite best man was daunting as it was large wedding and to be honest i did not know that many off the guests i still managed. The thing is everyone is there to wish you well nobody is going to heckle you.

our wedding we paid for ourselves and i was more than happy to stand up and thank all my friends and family and be proud of the moment, i actually was looking forward to it and normally at work i hate public speaking but for some reason i really wanted to make my feelings known at the wedding, also it was smaller and intimate and i was able to get banter with the guests.

My mate is also talking about not having speeches at the wedding, but as i pointed out we paid for our wedding and had total control but if tradition is followed and the father of the bride is stumping up they might have a different idea of what is expected from the groom and best man!

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It depends on how big the wedding is...I've been to a couple of small do's where there weren't really any speeches, only one ad hoc one done by the groom...

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If you do not make a speech you will store up a world of grief for yourself, and quite possibly lay the foundations of your future divorce, on your wedding day. Good plan - not.

You HAVE to thank the key people:

1. Your bride, mention how much you love and adore her, what great eyes she has, how you admire her charm, humour, kindness to small furry animals and HOW you knew she was the one, intend to spend the rest of your life together.

2. Her Mum and Dad.

3. Her key relatives - i.e. sisters, brothers and her kids if she already has some.

4. Your Mum and Dad.

5. Your key relatives - sisters, brothers, your own kids if you have them.

6. Grand-parents, aunts, uncles.

7. Close friends, especially those who helped with the wedding - bridsemaids, etc.

If you do not do this then you will hurt the feelings of all of the above plus store up enemies for the future.

Don't you think your being a bit melodramatic! My fiancée knows how much I love her! By making a speech I am just telling everyone else that I love her. Surely they must realise this already. Hence why I am marrying her! Why can't I just go and speak to everyone else on your list and thank them personally?

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I'm getting married soon and am bricking it about having to give a speech. Also my best man isn't too confident about giving one either. Instead of us all stressing I have decided not to bother with them.

I think the mother and father of the bride want to say a little something which is fair enough.

I would much rather go round everyone and thank them in person.

Do you think I'm being a chicken and being rude to my guests (as the brides grandmother pointed out to me!) If you were a guest would you think it was rude?

No problem not making a speech, they are quite often skipped these days. I've seen some pretty awful speeches that would have been better left out altogether. I quite like being the centre of attention so there was no way I wasn't going to make everyone else listen to me for a few minutes since I was buying their dinner and booze. The most important thing is for you and the mrs to enjoy it, everyone else is secondary, so just relax and please yourself.

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I'm getting married soon and am bricking it about having to give a speech. Also my best man isn't too confident about giving one either. Instead of us all stressing I have decided not to bother with them.

I think the mother and father of the bride want to say a little something which is fair enough.

I would much rather go round everyone and thank them in person.

Do you think I'm being a chicken and being rude to my guests (as the brides grandmother pointed out to me!) If you were a guest would you think it was rude?

I wouldn't think it rude, but people do tend to expect a few words. You can keep it VERY short and sweet - literally a minute or two - people get fed up with long speeches anyway. Just thank everyone for coming, esp. if anyone has come very far as they often do, thank your bride for choosing you, thank her folks for producing her, thank your own folks for all they've done for you (if appropriate!) , thank whoever's organised it all, cheers all, please have a great time.

Best man can also keep it very short. As they say with speeches, best advice is Stand up, Speak up, Shut up. Nothing worse than someone rambling on for ages unless they're fantastic, amusing speakers.

Your local library may well have a book on wedding speeches which would give a tip or two. Ask the librarian - that's what they're there for.

Whatever you do, don't let worrying about it spoil your day. Though easy to say, I know.

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Don't you think your being a bit melodramatic! My fiancée knows how much I love her! By making a speech I am just telling everyone else that I love her. Surely they must realise this already. Hence why I am marrying her! Why can't I just go and speak to everyone else on your list and thank them personally?

Send a mass text message.

A "proper" wedding is formal and OTT.

We've got one coming up where they have spent probably 1/5 of the price of their house on the wedding.

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I'm getting married soon and am bricking it about having to give a speech. Also my best man isn't too confident about giving one either. Instead of us all stressing I have decided not to bother with them.

I think the mother and father of the bride want to say a little something which is fair enough.

I would much rather go round everyone and thank them in person.

Do you think I'm being a chicken and being rude to my guests (as the brides grandmother pointed out to me!) If you were a guest would you think it was rude?

Let those who wish to make a speech do so. Allow those (including yourself) who would prefer not to make a speech to forgo the trial.

Do your best to try to make it the best day you're able to for as many people as you can (again, including yourself).

If you have a suitably open relationship with your parents and your future in-laws, level with them. Explain to them that the idea of having to give a speech is stopping you looking forward to what should be the best day of your personal life. Try to get them on your side about it -- and let them defend you to other, more crotchety relatives; if they empathise with you, then I would think they almost certainly will take your side.

Also, just to cement the deal, make sure when you mingle on the Big Day, you work out a few personalised thank yous for key individuals. Let your one-to-one sincerity put any other slight let-downs they might perceive out of their minds.

Good luck!

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I'm getting married soon and am bricking it about having to give a speech. Also my best man isn't too confident about giving one either. Instead of us all stressing I have decided not to bother with them.

I think the mother and father of the bride want to say a little something which is fair enough.

I would much rather go round everyone and thank them in person.

Do you think I'm being a chicken and being rude to my guests (as the brides grandmother pointed out to me!) If you were a guest would you think it was rude?

Cancel it, bugger off to vegas for a weekend and save yourself the equivalent of a house deposit whilst you're at it - no speeches, no fuss. I had a small reg office wedding - just me and the mrs (obviously) and close family and friends, went to a decent pub after for our 'reception' - total cost = less than the price of a wedding dress.

Failing that - drink. Lots.

Hope it works out for you.

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Don't you think your being a bit melodramatic! My fiancée knows how much I love her! By making a speech I am just telling everyone else that I love her. Surely they must realise this already. Hence why I am marrying her! Why can't I just go and speak to everyone else on your list and thank them personally?

Tulip is winding yo up.

Will it spoil your day givng the speech?

Buugger it man be true to yourself, if people cant see through all the crap, sod em

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This is one of the instances where Google is your friend. I started researching about 2 weeks before mine and pretty much nailed it, still makes me proud today. The grooms speech doesn't need to be inventive or funny, itt's more tradition.

Thank all those involved, making sure to start the first one with "My wife and I" then pause for the applause and carry on with "would like to thank you all for being here, particularly those who've come all the way from ..........." etc etc. Then move on to specific people.

Part of the speech involves (or should) handing out thank you gifts to bridesmaids, mums, flower girls etc, it makes there day if nothing else. You also need to thank people for their gifts!!

The last thing you want to have to spend your wedding do doing is walking about thanking people, there's too much bought drinks to consume :lol:

Nothing too fancy, plenty of practice and 8-10 keycards with 3-4 word reminders. You'll end up enjoying it and it will make your family even more proud of you.

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Don't you think your being a bit melodramatic! My fiancée knows how much I love her! By making a speech I am just telling everyone else that I love her. Surely they must realise this already. Hence why I am marrying her! Why can't I just go and speak to everyone else on your list and thank them personally?

Because it's not really your thanks they are after, it's being publicly thanked they want :P

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Don't you think your being a bit melodramatic! My fiancée knows how much I love her! By making a speech I am just telling everyone else that I love her. Surely they must realise this already. Hence why I am marrying her! Why can't I just go and speak to everyone else on your list and thank them personally?

Grow a pair and make a speech! Seriously, you have nothing to lose by making one. My recent grooms speech (part mime, part interpretive dance, part Japanese 'no' theatre) went down a storm. Much better than my speeches at the weddings of my first two marriages.

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Well just thought I would post an update. I am now a married man. We never had any speeches and our wedding was fantastic. Everything went perfectly and we had great weather. Not one person mentioned the lack of speeches. So I say to anyone that is planning to get married but are worried about doing a speech. Don't bother if you don't want to. I'm glad I didn't as I was much more relaxed not worrying about it.

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I'm getting married soon and am bricking it about having to give a speech. Also my best man isn't too confident about giving one either. Instead of us all stressing I have decided not to bother with them.

I think the mother and father of the bride want to say a little something which is fair enough.

I would much rather go round everyone and thank them in person.

Do you think I'm being a chicken and being rude to my guests (as the brides grandmother pointed out to me!) If you were a guest would you think it was rude?

Find your local Toastmasters and practice with them to your hearts content in an understanding atmosphere. I've heard you'll wonder what all the fuss was about after a few weeks. Let me know how you get on if you go down this route.

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Find your local Toastmasters and practice with them to your hearts content in an understanding atmosphere. I've heard you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. Let me know how you get on if you go down this route.

See my last post. We had an mc to announce things but that was it.

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See my last post. We had an mc to announce things but that was it.

Sure, but if anyone Google's this post in future it's what I would recommend as the best solution.

Not having a speech is running away from your fear of public speaking. This fear must have let you down in other areas of your life? All those work forums where you want to speak out in front of the boss and dozens of employees who will have their eyeballs on you for example. It's not just about weddings it's about changing your life and enhancing it.

Cheers!

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Sure, but if anyone Google's this post in future it's what I would recommend as the best solution.

Not having a speech is running away from your fear of public speaking. This fear must have let you down in other areas of your life? All those work forums where you want to speak out in front of the boss and dozens of employees who will have their eyeballs on you for example. It's not just about weddings it's about changing your life and enhancing it.

Cheers!

Not really. I have no problem speaking to people in a small group. Everyone is different. If doing something that isn't essential makes you feel terrible, I say why do it. Why put yourself through the stress.

If you need to do public speaking regularly then seeking help would be valuable but if public speaking is not something that you need to do on a regular basis why bother.

I'm glad I didn't do a speech as I had a better day not having to worry about it.

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  • 331 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

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