Emotional Attachment

[laughing_goat]

Not sure whether this will take off or not but I wanted to tell you of a realisation my boyfriend and I had last night and wondered if this was common.

A friend came to visit, it was the first time he had visited since we moved to a new rental place. He asked us if we would liked the place and did we want to stay. Both of us, simulainiously, shrugged our shoulders and said we're not that bothered.

We were both quite surprised how little regard we had for our home, after he left we had a discussion about it.

Mr Goat said he hates renting, he hates being looked down upon by the professional victim (LL), he hates the way the stupid woman next door think we are poor because we rent and felt demoralised by the 17 year old the letting agent sends around to inspect our cleaning once every 6 months. Hence, he couldn't think of this place as his home and therefore didn't really care about it. I have to admit, I feel exactly the same.

He is 29 and I am 31, we're not kids, we want to be in charge of our own destiny, and not have to answer to some nonse. Don't get me wrong, the house is nice, the areas good and the rent is cheap, it should all be perfect.

I don't think this means we are going to buy a place, but it may mean we have to impose a time limit on how long we plan to rent for (I would say 2 years, he may not be able to last more than a year).

Does anyone else feel this way, or have any advise to cheer us up?

LG

[AteMoose]

No i love it never have to fix anything and pay peanuts... But im renting in a shared house directly off a friendly landlord... Renting should give you ability to move when you want and give you more control of your destiny, no property rented or bought will make you a happy person. You make yourself happy.

Edited October 5, 2005 by moosetea

[Guest muttley]

Yes,I feel like this too.

However,I have a great emotional attachment to my money!

Chin up.

[Guest]

With respect to home ownership, I'm not going to miss something I haven't actually had.

[shar46y]

We absolutely love our rented flat, which is much better than anything we could dream of buying. We love the area, the size of it, the lovely communal gardens - and the fact that if anything goes wrong (e.g. came home this weekend to find the kitchen floor squelching fmro a leaky pipe), we just have to phone the agent and it's fixed!

We are planning to stay here as long as possible, or at least until house prices come down to a more reasonable level. But there will definitely be a twinge of sadness when we move out, whenever that might be.

[sanddancer]

I feel simliar, but I think it alot of it is because our flat was furnished when we first started to rent it. Gradually we have persuaded the landlord to remove bits of the furniture as we have put in our own, and that makes it feel a lot better. When we first moved in, it even had pictures on the walls in a strange attempt to make it more homely, but they were awful. Lots of our storage space is taken up with hiding these things.

But when things break it is great not to have to worry about paying for them.

[laughing_goat]

Yes,I feel like this too.

However,I have a great emotional attachment to my money!

Chin up.

Money hmmmm...

That always cheers me up!

There's nothing like looking at your statements once a month to see how much interest you've made, is there?

(personally I can't understand why my friends call me a miser - tehe)

[soldintime]

I absolutely love my rented place. I would buy it if the price was right. However I am renting cheaper now then buying. I also like the fact that i do not have to worry about any repairs or a massive fall in house prices. I could easely stay here 4-5 years.

[laughing_goat]

I feel simliar, but I think it alot of it is because our flat was furnished when we first started to rent it. Gradually we have persuaded the landlord to remove bits of the furniture as we have put in our own, and that makes it feel a lot better. When we first moved in, it even had pictures on the walls in a strange attempt to make it more homely, but they were awful. Lots of our storage space is taken up with hiding these things.

But when things break it is great not to have to worry about paying for them.

Our place was supposed to be unfurnished, but the LL left about a 1/3 of her furniture behind (it used to be her home), so much so we could fit our own furniture in. Luckily the agent knew we were within our rights to walk away, so forced her to remove it all (some bits still remain, but I could do without the intrusion). That was the sort of thing that was getting us down, the LL thought we would look after her possesions while she was away.

With respect to home ownership, I'm not going to miss something I haven't actually had.

Megaflop,

I may have STR but Mr Goat is an FTB and he is far more depressed than me.

LG

[bandylegs]

I like my rented place, it's nice it's in the country and it's done through work so it works out cheep.

I'm leaving next week to move back with parents, save some more money to build up the deposit.

I can't imagine getting sad about it I haven't found it possible to feel emotional about somewhere I rent because it always fealt tempoary.

[paradox]

In the 25 years since I have left home I have been - in chronological order - a private tenant, a Council Tenant, an Owner Occupier with a small mortgage, a Landlord renting out my home whilst I lived abroad, an overstretched Owner Occupier with an enormous mortgage and now a private tenant again.

Which was best - without doubt the Council House - moving out of there was a big mistake. Lovely house in an area that has gone upmarket since - I wish I still lived there now.

I have made some money and then lost it again.

For what its worth - I really dont see the attraction of homeowning unless it is just that - unless you own the property outright.

All you FTBs hang in there and dont worry what anybody says. I am happier now - renting - than I have been for a long time. There is a sense of freedom, mobility and security in renting that is very attractive. It actually makes me feel younger. A sense of being light on your feet.

Homeowning when prices are rising just appeals to the worst side of human nature - Greed - I didnt even like myself during that period

Homeowning when prices of falling appeals to the most unpleasant side of the human experience - Fear - I couldn't sleep when I realised I had overstretched myself.

A home is what you make of it - the experiences you have in it and the type of place you choose. We rented unfurnished so all our own furniture is around us.

[AteMoose]

Our place was supposed to be unfurnished, but the LL left about a 1/3 of her furniture behind (it used to be her home), so much so we could fit our own furniture in. Luckily the agent knew we were within our rights to walk away, so forced her to remove it all (some bits still remain, but I could do without the intrusion). That was the sort of thing that was getting us down, the LL thought we would look after her possesions while she was away.

Megaflop,

I may have STR but Mr Goat is an FTB and he is far more depressed than me.

LG

Mr Goat probably wants to make some money on STR himself, i would recommending saving first and watching his savings go up, together you should be able to get ALOT of savings built up....

[Lou G]

We moved into our new rental property last July and love the place. I have had serious pangs lateley that I cannot paint and decorate etc. My daughter is nearly 5 and she keeps asking if she can have her room painted pink.! Not having the freedom to paint and decorate is a negative and occasionally gets to me but then I think gosh if we had bought this place in the current market we would have such a high mortgage and it would stress me more.! I also wouldn't be able to rest easy knowing just how over priced property is at the moment. Three bed semis near us were around £130/140k 4 years ago and they are now £325k.!!

Its just madness. I also have younger sisters who are "owners" and its difficult going against the crowd but in years to come it may all be worth it. I'm 38 and hubby is 42yrs so we are older than yourselves with a family who are renting. Hard to swim against the tide but your not alone.!

[frugalista]

.... he hates the way the stupid woman next door think we are poor because we rent ....

Why on earth would he care what the stupid woman next door thinks?

frugalista

[mhifoe]

We moved into our new rental property last July and love the place. I have had serious pangs lateley that I cannot paint and decorate etc. My daughter is nearly 5 and she keeps asking if she can have her room painted pink.! Not having the freedom to paint and decorate is a negative and occasionally gets to me but then I think gosh if we had bought this place in the current market we would have such a high mortgage and it would stress me more.! I also wouldn't be able to rest easy knowing just how over priced property is at the moment. Three bed semis near us were around £130/140k 4 years ago and they are now £325k.!!

Its just madness. I also have younger sisters who are "owners" and its difficult going against the crowd but in years to come it may all be worth it. I'm 38 and hubby is 42yrs so we are older than yourselves with a family who are renting. Hard to swim against the tide but your not alone.!

Have you asked the landlord whether they mind you painting your daughters room? You can always promise to repaint it in magnolia before you leave.

In out rented house we have:

Painted the bedroom

Put up bathroom accessories (towel rail, shelf etc).

Added a catflap to the back door

Put up pictures on all the walls

[devils advocate]

We moved into our new rental property last July and love the place. I have had serious pangs lateley that I cannot paint and decorate etc. My daughter is nearly 5 and she keeps asking if she can have her room painted pink.! Not having the freedom to paint and decorate is a negative

As an ex landlord if I had good tenants in and they asked if they could paint, I had no hesitation in saying 'yes'. Some have even declined my offer to pay for the paint!

I feel that if you are reasonable to your tenants, they are more likely to be reasonable back, and it helps to postpone that awful agony known as VOIDS!

Go on, ask them. The worst that can happen is that they say "no".

[msgin]

I used to be so bitter about renting, especially as I have had to bring up my 2 small children in various rental houses and being generally treated like you know what by landlords and letting agents. When we eventually do buy I will have no fond memories of the previous 7 rental houses we have lived in, but number 8 is different.

I sit here in a house that I would never have been so foolish to buy, it is a very nice 12 month old new build with all the bells and whistles, bought at the peak of the housing market buy my landlady who was desperate to get into the BTL "boom" and had already fallen in value by the time it was completed. The snooty cow comes around with her clipboard from time to time, even opens up the cupboards to have a peer inside in front of me. I can't stand her, she is a vile woman who complains about everything that is important in her life but trivial in anyone elses and I listen politely until she is ready to go. Inside I laugh as she is receiving a 3.2% yield on her investment, we get to live in a beautiful house that we could not afford to buy, most importantly my children are happy as this house is in a catchment for a fantastic primary school which again we couldn't have afforded to buy into. We know she is in it for the long term and I don't feel guilty as she has enough money not to go under, we will stay in this house for another 24 months until I can get child 2 into the same school then buy. An identical house in this development sold last month for £50,000 less than this one, you never know we might even make her an offer, but only at 60% of what she paid. Finally I am happy.

[Lou G]

As an ex landlord if I had good tenants in and they asked if they could paint, I had no hesitation in saying 'yes'. Some have even declined my offer to pay for the paint!

I feel that if you are reasonable to your tenants, they are more likely to be reasonable back, and it helps to postpone that awful agony known as VOIDS!

Go on, ask them. The worst that can happen is that they say "no".

You know, I think I will.!!

[JBeau]

Str'd 2 yrs ago, and both of us hate the house. The quicker we can get out the better...we're both going on 40 now, and have two children now screaming for cats, dogs etc...which i don't want until we're settled.

Feeling unsettled....the worst thing about renting, the only thing that keeps me 'going' is the deposit in the bank and falling HP,but for how long I don't know. Shouldn't grumble as it's a big house , reasonably decorated, good area,good schools.....it's just not ours,and most certainly not our taste.

Glad I'm not the only one feeling glum sometimes

[rockdoctor]

I've owned and rented and when leaving either I've had pangs (or not).

As a keen DIYer I concluded the pangs were proportional to the volume of blood, sweat and tears I had put into the place (I happily did work on the rental places if it made my life more pleasant and didn't involve too much expenditure).

However, no matter how strong the pangs were (I was very sad to leave my first owned flat) they had decreased to nothing only a month after moving out.

I find I tend to feel affection for my present home, and the memories of previous homes fade fast.

[Fancypants]

Not sure whether this will take off or not but I wanted to tell you of a realisation my boyfriend and I had last night and wondered if this was common.

A friend came to visit, it was the first time he had visited since we moved to a new rental place. He asked us if we would liked the place and did we want to stay. Both of us, simulainiously, shrugged our shoulders and said we're not that bothered.

We were both quite surprised how little regard we had for our home, after he left we had a discussion about it.

Mr Goat said he hates renting, he hates being looked down upon by the professional victim (LL), he hates the way the stupid woman next door think we are poor because we rent and felt demoralised by the 17 year old the letting agent sends around to inspect our cleaning once every 6 months. Hence, he couldn't think of this place as his home and therefore didn't really care about it. I have to admit, I feel exactly the same.

He is 29 and I am 31, we're not kids, we want to be in charge of our own destiny, and not have to answer to some nonse. Don't get me wrong, the house is nice, the areas good and the rent is cheap, it should all be perfect.

I don't think this means we are going to buy a place, but it may mean we have to impose a time limit on how long we plan to rent for (I would say 2 years, he may not be able to last more than a year).

Does anyone else feel this way, or have any advise to cheer us up?

LG

Hello Ms Goat

I think you have just been a tad unlucky with the landlady, that is all. It's a bit of a lottery I guess, and when you move in, no amount of inspecting the property itself will reveal how easy it will be to deal with the landperson. I've been pretty lucky in my time (although friends of mine who had the same landlady in different properties have very different ideas about her!) to be fair... then again I was a perennial singleton in my 20s with no furniture of my own/responsibilities/encumbrances etc etc

I daresay I would now have a very different opinion. After years of moving around every 12months or so, I was in the last place for 4 years. I have never owned, so I don't miss what I've never had.

If I might be so bold though, perhaps you and your fella just need to care a little bit less about what other people (neighbour, 17yr old scrote etc) think... there'll always be someone out there with an axe to grind for one reason or another. I guess that deep down, you yourself would quite like to be an OO right now. Although I intend to one day, it doesn't bother me that I'm not, so if anyone else has had an issue with that then I haven't noticed

[BARRY SCOTT]

Myself and Mrs. Scott are sick and tired of our poxy studio. £800 quid a month for a pile of B******s in f*****g London which is a total s**T Hole....Looking on the bright side, it is very clean!

[beerhunter]

I take the opinion, a home is a home whether it's rented or oo and you should be proud of it.

I don't (with my current rented home) have anyone come round every 6 months to inspect... but have been in that situation in the past. I didn't like it and organised visits from the agency on a known date when I wasn't there because it felt less intrusive.

I've never had any problems with the neighbours looking down on me... if they did its their problem and attitude and not mine.

I think it's harder to think of a furnished rental as home. My current home was let as unfurnished and I feel it is more of a home than previous furnished places.

As the proverb goes... A home is what you make of it.

[laughing_goat]

Hello Ms Goat

I think you have just been a tad unlucky with the landlady, that is all. It's a bit of a lottery I guess, and when you move in, no amount of inspecting the property itself will reveal how easy it will be to deal with the landperson. I've been pretty lucky in my time (although friends of mine who had the same landlady in different properties have very different ideas about her!) to be fair... then again I was a perennial singleton in my 20s with no furniture of my own/responsibilities/encumbrances etc etc

I daresay I would now have a very different opinion. After years of moving around every 12months or so, I was in the last place for 4 years. I have never owned, so I don't miss what I've never had.

If I might be so bold though, perhaps you and your fella just need to care a little bit less about what other people (neighbour, 17yr old scrote etc) think... there'll always be someone out there with an axe to grind for one reason or another. I guess that deep down, you yourself would quite like to be an OO right now. Although I intend to one day, it doesn't bother me that I'm not, so if anyone else has had an issue with that then I haven't noticed

You're all right about the neighbour, we definately should ignore her. I think in fairness to Mr Goat, she had made a comment to him earlier in the day, that if he sold his car, we might be able to afford to buy a house. We found it funny at the time, but I think deep down it p***ed him off.

The 17 year old is much harder to ignore, as if he feels my cleaning is not up to standard, it will be noted with the agent, so far he has been happy. When we first moved in, we noticed the guttering had been leaking and caused some damage to the brickwork on the outside of the house, I call the agent as soon as I noticed it (also, putting it in writing), anyway this kid was sent around (3 1/2 months later) and told Mr Goat we would have to pay for some of the damage as we didn't report it early enough. Obviously, a quick call to the agent rectified this, but Mr Goat was fuming at the time.

I must admit that reading these comments has made me see the better aspects of renting. Mr Goat and I now have a very good stash of money, which is gaining enough monthly interest to pay most of our rent if we needed it to.

I mentioned all the comments to Mr Goat and he does seem to have cheered up (me too). I have to say, I think getting it out in the open helped. The only thing we have agreed on is that we need to set a time limit on how long we are going to rent for, we haven't decided yet but I think it will be max 2 yrs, the LL will want her house back then anyway and I can't see us renting another house.

Thanks all for the advise.