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Christmas Songs To Cheer Up The Mew'rs

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Ding, Dong merrily on high, the check out tills aren't ringing....

Ding, Dong merrily on high, we've had to stop the bingeing

tra la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

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(With apologies to Sleigh Ride)

Debt ride, debt ride

We've just had the surveys

required to raise a new MEW

It's lovely weather

for a debt ride together with you.

But there's news appalling

the value's falling oh pooh

It's lovely weather

for a debt ride together with you.

What a shock, what a shock, what can we do

We needed that MEW

We relied on rises to never stop

Oh my god, all our bills, they're coming due

And credit cards too

We see our mistake as the break-ing bubble goes pop pop pop

With debt mind-bending

our days of spending are through

It's lovely weather

for a debt ride together with you.

If we'd saved money

we'd see the funny side too

It's lovely weather

for a debt ride together with you.

Edited by ajh

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Its going to be a cold cold christmas without MEW

Summat to chew over BEFORE you feel obliged to waste all your spare dosh buying things others dont really want ;)

Bible Jeremiah:

JR 10:1-4

1 Hear ye the word which the LORD speaketh unto you, O house of Israel:

2 Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.

3 For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.

4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. (KJV)

Not bad - a 2000yr old STAB @ our modern 'Pagan' Christmas fetivities!

And there's more!

'Santa' is an anagram for 'SATAN'

Using Bible Code the name 'SANTACLAUS' = 666

I won't bore you with the rest!

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Hi cliff - its me....

The house is a King, the online pigs sing,

The old dream has passed, there's a new beginning.

Dreams of new semis, dreams of terraced row,

The economys gone south, bank accounts glow.

Crashdown time, listen to them whine

EAs singing, we are out of time

With debts on the fire and county courts to see

A time for repossesing all that we see

A time for denial, a time for believing

A time for not trusting, those deceiving,

Ganite and alabaster, yours ever after,

Houses for the taking, just follow the disaster.

Crashdown time, listen to them whine

EAs singing, we are out of time

With debts on the fire and county courts to see

A time for repossesing all that we see

A time for renting, a time for sub letting,

A time for not viewing and for forgetting.

Houses breed debt, You wont get no peace,

A time for EA baiting and fighting the police.

Crashdown time, listen to them whine

EAs singing, we are out of time

With debts on the fire and county courts to see

A time for repossesing all that we see

repeat until dead...

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are you laying down your laminate on the floors

it's the time that every BTL starts to stall

did you MEW a red range rover

are skint on all paydays

can you manage to keep all sober for a day.....

so here it is merry house crash

everybodies come undone

look to the future now

debts only just begun

are you waiting for the bailiff to arrive

to take all your belongings from inside

did your granny always warn you

that the old tories were the best

but shes sold her council house and headed west....

so here it is merry house crash

everybodies come undone

look to the future now

debts only just begun

what will your MP do when he sees your wages....

...buying f0ck all....ahaa !!

are you hanging up a rope noose on your wall

are you hoping that new labour goons will soon fall

do you take your MEWed new roadster

with a hosepipe on the end

when you shoot apart your head

do you forget your rent...

so here it is merry house crash

everybodies come undone

look to nu labour now

its only just begun

I-T-S..........H-O-U-S-E.........C-R-A-S-H.........!!!!

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A ray of hope flckers in the sky

A shiny star lights up way up high

All across the land dawns a brand new morn

It's come to pass...the house price crash is born

A silent wish sails the seven seas

The winds have changed for BTL's and EA's

And the singing pig crumbles tossed and torn

It's come to pass...the house price crash is born

"but prices will rise..interest rates are low"

Now prices fall faster than winter snow

All across the land dawns a brand new morn

It's come to pass...the house price crash is born

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They said prices would level by Christmas

all dwellings should cost you the earth

But instead of buying, the public kept renting

and time to raise the rents drowned in the firth.

I remember one working grey morning

I left a lit lighter on the office chair

And the peal of a fire bell and that electical smell

Eyes full of blue lights and heat and fire.

They sold me a dream of housing

They told me a price not right

They told me a fairy story

Till I believed in the centre right.

And I believed in new labour tony

I felt hope in 97 with excited eyes

Than I woke with a judgement in the first light of dawn

And I saw him through his disguise.

I wish you a hopeful asking

I wish you a brave new zeland

Avoid all anguish, payback, and sadness

Leave your partner and let your credit check be clear.

They said there'd be gordon by Christmas

They said there'd be a record fourth term.

Hallelujah, gordon, Be it heaven or hell,

The problems we all get we all deserve.

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And there's more!

'Santa' is an anagram for 'SATAN'

Using Bible Code the name 'SANTACLAUS' = 666

I won't bore you with the rest!

Also:

'DOG' is an anagram for 'God'

Even better:

'Scottish Folk Ballad..Wahoo' is a an anagram of 'Shit..What a load of boll@cks!'

...spooky

Edited by KickThemInThePant

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woz nee whizz...freddy is a devil.....

woz nee whizz...freddy is a devil.....

woz nee whizz...freddy is a devil.....

huh !!!

mingle mangle mingle mangle..

picture a man going on a journey. he has left the uk house market in search of...

..not the euro zone..!!

little VI little VI. oh no its the wicked witch from the north.

hanoi thatcher....

need i go on ?

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On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me...

... how the F$%k are we going to be able to afford our simple mortgage repayments when you go out and splash out on the usual marketed Christmas tat and buy the kids everything the tele tells them to have?? God, woman we are still paying off last years credit card bills and you have gone out a bought an 'all singing all dancing Santa Clause' statue for the front garden.

I dont care if it only light up and sings 'Jingle f*&%kin Bells' when a car drives past. I want a divorce!!!

Edited by shakerbaby

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Christmas time

The bailiffs are in the swines

The Estate agents laughing

Choking on his wine

what about; ( to good king wenslas)

The rich landlord last looked out of my bedsit window.

On the gutter he threw me out because i was a renter

tra la la la la tra la la la laa lalalala la.

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Guest Charlie The Tramp
what about; ( to good king wenslas)

Don`t work for me, but maybe the X factor could use it.

;)

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woz nee whizz...freddy is a devil.....

woz nee whizz...freddy is a devil.....

woz nee whizz...freddy is a devil.....

huh !!!

mingle mangle mingle mangle..

picture a man going on a journey. he has left the uk house market in search of...

..not the euro zone..!!

little VI little VI. oh no its the wicked witch from the north.

hanoi thatcher....

need i go on ?

Sorry to get this plug in, but my band the Accelerators [Removed by Moderator] released a Christmas single called `Christmas is a pain in the ****` in 2003 after Johnnie Walker played it on BBC Radio two in 2002.

It seems the perfect stocking filler for a BTL !!!!

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Sorry to get this plug in, but my band the Accelerators [Removed by Moderator] released a Christmas single called `Christmas is a pain in the ****` in 2003 after Johnnie Walker played it on BBC Radio two in 2002.

It seems the perfect stocking filler for a BTL !!!!

Shameless plugging there. :rolleyes:

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  • 302 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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