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KingBingo

Don't Blame Banks/ Estate Agents Or Vendors

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Great story from a EA mate of mine:

Bloke wants to sell his seaside flat on a road where no flat has ever gone for more than £250,000, even at height of boom. My EA mate does his valuation research and tells the vendor that if he wants to be optimistic he should put it on for £255k and be lucky just to get knocked down to £250k which is the Stamp Tax boundary. Vendor says no, he wants more and insists it goes on at £20k more. EA mate eventually gives in, expecting it to sit unsold for a couple of months before he can talk down the vendor to a realistic value so it goes on at £269,950.

Not more than a few days goes by and some 'dippy bird' as he calls her offers £269,900. The vendor is delighted and giving my mate jip for almost costing him £20k. The dippy bird is well pleased with herself for saving fifty quid off the asking price.

So then the dippy birds mortgage surveyor then turns up to value the flat, he says its not worth more than £235,000. My mate challenges this but the surveyor explains that if the vendor was asking £250k he would not bother to query it. But since the valuation was taking the piss he deicide to knock it properly. So what does dippy bird do now she can't get a mortgage on the place and a valuation professional has just told her that the flat is actually worth £235k not £269k?? Well she goes to another mortgage company and sell all her savings/investments and borrows money from her friends and family to raise a bigger deposit, so she now bids £250k and gives the bloke £19,900 in cash for 'fixtures and fittings'.

So who is at fault here:

Banks: No, they got another debt slave.

EA: No, He gave good advise to his client, and carried out his wishes as paid too.

Surveyor: No, gave correct valuation.

Vendor: No, he got himself another £35k for something worth only £235, all of us would do the same as him if we knew we could.

Buyer: Yep, that dippy bird has just caused HPI, stuffed cash into the pocket of a greedy vendor, become a debt slave and generally overpaid and ******ed up from the word go.

The reason we have chronically overpriced house in this country is because we have more than enough morons who keep it going. Even now with volumes on the floor we just have vendors holding out for the greater fool that may well actually turn up before long.

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looks like the bank is giving a 100% mortgage.

I blame the bank

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That lady might regret her choice, but as you say, it was hers! :huh:

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looks like the bank is giving a 100% mortgage.

I blame the bank

I believe it was closer to 75%LTV.

And why blame them, they have another debt slave, that's what they do.

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The only good thing is that it will show up on the land registry and the lenders figures as the £250k and not £270k

Edited by exiges

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Great story from a EA mate of mine:

Bloke wants to sell his seaside flat on a road where no flat has ever gone for more than £250,000, even at height of boom. My EA mate does his valuation research and tells the vendor that if he wants to be optimistic he should put it on for £255k and be lucky just to get knocked down to £250k which is the Stamp Tax boundary. Vendor says no, he wants more and insists it goes on at £20k more. EA mate eventually gives in, expecting it to sit unsold for a couple of months before he can talk down the vendor to a realistic value so it goes on at £269,950.

Not more than a few days goes by and some 'dippy bird' as he calls her offers £269,900. The vendor is delighted and giving my mate jip for almost costing him £20k. The dippy bird is well pleased with herself for saving fifty quid off the asking price.

So then the dippy birds mortgage surveyor then turns up to value the flat, he says its not worth more than £235,000. My mate challenges this but the surveyor explains that if the vendor was asking £250k he would not bother to query it. But since the valuation was taking the piss he deicide to knock it properly. So what does dippy bird do now she can't get a mortgage on the place and a valuation professional has just told her that the flat is actually worth £235k not £269k?? Well she goes to another mortgage company and sell all her savings/investments and borrows money from her friends and family to raise a bigger deposit, so she now bids £250k and gives the bloke £19,900 in cash for 'fixtures and fittings'.

So who is at fault here:

Banks: No, they got another debt slave.

EA: No, He gave good advise to his client, and carried out his wishes as paid too.

Surveyor: No, gave correct valuation.

Vendor: No, he got himself another £35k for something worth only £235, all of us would do the same as him if we knew we could.

Buyer: Yep, that dippy bird has just caused HPI, stuffed cash into the pocket of a greedy vendor, become a debt slave and generally overpaid and ******ed up from the word go.

The reason we have chronically overpriced house in this country is because we have more than enough morons who keep it going. Even now with volumes on the floor we just have vendors holding out for the greater fool that may well actually turn up before long.

no nolan/christieesque twist, weak mid section, no butler with a family secret, no big black herbertesque rats, no adavacadabra type game changing spells, no slough of despondency type recovery, im sorry but as stories go its got less staying power than budgie the helicopter

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Great story from a EA mate of mine:

Bloke wants to sell his seaside flat on a road where no flat has ever gone for more than £250,000, even at height of boom. My EA mate does his valuation research and tells the vendor that if he wants to be optimistic he should put it on for £255k and be lucky just to get knocked down to £250k which is the Stamp Tax boundary. Vendor says no, he wants more and insists it goes on at £20k more. EA mate eventually gives in, expecting it to sit unsold for a couple of months before he can talk down the vendor to a realistic value so it goes on at £269,950.

Not more than a few days goes by and some 'dippy bird' as he calls her offers £269,900. The vendor is delighted and giving my mate jip for almost costing him £20k. The dippy bird is well pleased with herself for saving fifty quid off the asking price.

So then the dippy birds mortgage surveyor then turns up to value the flat, he says its not worth more than £235,000. My mate challenges this but the surveyor explains that if the vendor was asking £250k he would not bother to query it. But since the valuation was taking the piss he deicide to knock it properly. So what does dippy bird do now she can't get a mortgage on the place and a valuation professional has just told her that the flat is actually worth £235k not £269k?? Well she goes to another mortgage company and sell all her savings/investments and borrows money from her friends and family to raise a bigger deposit, so she now bids £250k and gives the bloke £19,900 in cash for 'fixtures and fittings'.

So who is at fault here:

Banks: No, they got another debt slave.

EA: No, He gave good advise to his client, and carried out his wishes as paid too.

Surveyor: No, gave correct valuation.

Vendor: No, he got himself another £35k for something worth only £235, all of us would do the same as him if we knew we could.

Buyer: Yep, that dippy bird has just caused HPI, stuffed cash into the pocket of a greedy vendor, become a debt slave and generally overpaid and ******ed up from the word go.

The reason we have chronically overpriced house in this country is because we have more than enough morons who keep it going. Even now with volumes on the floor we just have vendors holding out for the greater fool that may well actually turn up before long.

Like many people i know, most folk really do deserve the term sheeple.

Their appetite for naivety combined with an aspirational hunger, bordering on that of a junkie looking at a bag of scag, sickens me at times.

People research all sorts when they buy a TV or even clothing - we shop around. When it comes to houses sensibe, even those of a commercial mind seem to lose all sense of rationality.

Though i see it as the banks AND the general public standing shoulder to should in a greedy orgy of wa**ers.

I hope future generations look upon this and recent decades of anger and contempt all stratas of UK public deserve.

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<br />Great story from a EA mate of mine:<br /><br />Bloke wants to sell his seaside flat on a road where no flat has ever gone for more than £250,000, even at height of boom. My EA mate does his valuation research and tells the vendor that if he wants to be optimistic he should put it on for £255k and be lucky just to get knocked down to £250k which is the Stamp Tax boundary. Vendor says no, he wants more and insists it goes on at £20k more. EA mate eventually gives in, expecting it to sit unsold for a couple of months before he can talk down the vendor to a realistic value so it goes on at £269,950.<br /><br />Not more than a few days goes by and some 'dippy bird' as he calls her offers £269,900. The vendor is delighted and giving my mate jip for almost costing him £20k. The dippy bird is well pleased with herself for saving fifty quid off the asking price. <br /><br />So then the dippy birds mortgage surveyor then turns up to value the flat, he says its not worth more than £235,000. My mate challenges this but the surveyor explains that if the vendor was asking £250k he would not bother to query it. But since the valuation was taking the piss he deicide to knock it properly.  So what does dippy bird do now she can't get a mortgage on the place and a valuation professional has just told her that the flat is actually worth £235k not £269k?? Well she goes to another mortgage company and sell all her savings/investments and borrows money from her friends and family to raise a bigger deposit, so she now bids £250k and gives the bloke £19,900 in cash for 'fixtures and fittings'. <br /><br />So who is at fault here:<br />Banks: No, they got another debt slave.<br />EA: No, He gave good advise to his client, and carried out his wishes as paid too.<br />Surveyor: No, gave correct valuation.<br />Vendor: No, he got himself another £35k for something worth only £235, all of us would do the same as him if we knew we could. <br />Buyer: Yep, that dippy bird has just caused HPI, stuffed cash into the pocket of a greedy vendor, become a debt slave and generally overpaid and ******ed up from the word go. <br /><br />The reason we have chronically overpriced house in this country is because we have more than enough morons who keep it going. Even now with volumes on  the floor we just have vendors holding out for the greater fool that may well actually turn up before long.<br />

A 'Diamond' story - you earn tw-elve 'CARbon' Credits

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That lady might regret her choice, but as you say, it was hers! :huh:

We might regret it when we bail out her dippy a*se with the next round of SMI.

Edited by pl1

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So then the dippy birds mortgage surveyor then turns up to value the flat, he says its not worth more than £235,000. My mate challenges this but the surveyor explains that if the vendor was asking £250k he would not bother to query it. But since the valuation was taking the piss he deicide to knock it properly.

He was hardley a professional either , he is meant to be there to value the flat not give a lower valuation as he thought the valuation was taking the piss. If he thougth it was worth £250k he should have valued it at £250k not £235k saying he would have let it go through at £250k if it had been under offer at £250k.

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He was hardley a professional either , he is meant to be there to value the flat not give a lower valuation as he thought the valuation was taking the piss. If he thougth it was worth £250k he should have valued it at £250k not £235k saying he would have let it go through at £250k if it had been under offer at £250k.

I have overheard conversations in recent weeks between 3 different local surveyors and EAs and have been totally unimpressed by how much guidance the surveyors appeared to, in my personal opinion, to take, let us say, from the EAs.

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Like many people i know, most folk really do deserve the term sheeple.

The result of 15 years brainwashing by the various VI's and property pornographers: don't worry about what you buy, don't worry about what you pay, you can't go wrong with property so just get on the ladder.

Edited by Goat

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I have overheard conversations in recent weeks between 3 different local surveyors and EAs and have been totally unimpressed by how much guidance the surveyors appeared to, in my personal opinion, to take, let us say, from the EAs.

Yes people have to pay £400- £500 to the bank who send around a muppet to value the property . It is not a science or a given it is an opinion only , which can be swayed to suit or not suit customers .

Have heard that banks during the boom have told surveyors not to down value if they have not reached their lending targets for the month. They are meant to be there to value not to suit the coustomers.

Edited by miko

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Buyer: Yep, that dippy bird has just caused HPI, stuffed cash into the pocket of a greedy vendor, become a debt slave and generally overpaid and ******ed up from the word go.

This made me so angry it forced me to post this video. I hope you're satisfied now.

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Surveyor: No, he gave correct valuation.

I'd agree with your summation. But take umbridge with the surveyor.

I'd have asked him how much it went for in 1997, and then had a long argument with him, about why its not worth a penny more.:D

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Absolutely nailed on that this was in Brighton.

The place is full of these sorts. Probably found the other £20k just because she'd told everyone at Yoga/Reiki/Capoeira class that she was going to buy it and didnt want to lose face.

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Absolutely nailed on that this was in Brighton.

Not too far away. Half an hour drive.

The place is full of these sorts. Probably found the other £20k just because she'd told everyone at Yoga/Reiki/Capoeira class that she was going to buy it and didnt want to lose face.

Are they not everywhere?

Edited by KingBingo

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Saw a place recently on at £315k. Needs a bit of work but not hideously overpriced compared to what else in on the Market. Liked it and thought if we could get it for around £280k it might be worth a punt. Talked to agent and asked if there'd been any offers. He said a couple who were selling had put in a full asking price offer. No negotiation, just straight in at £315k. Nevertheless, it was a non-proceedable offer as they couldn't sell their gaff. Even the agent agreed with me that it was a ludicrous offer given the state of play.

Trouble is that since then the vendor had had a couple of offers around the £290k to £300k region and turned em down, thinking (and who can blame him) that before long some other mug will be along with a full asking price offer.

This is what the Market seems like at the moment. Endless fools putting in ridiculous offers before they've sold their place, and skewing the whole thing, before any chain comes crashing down. I've convinced the missus to stay in rental for another year and consolidate. If things aren't moving then, I'll admit defeat.

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This is what the Market seems like at the moment. Endless fools putting in ridiculous offers before they've sold their place, and skewing the whole thing, before any chain comes crashing down.

Yep, seeing that over and over........

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Talking of Brighton:

This went for double the guide

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-33892226.html

At a yield of 2%.

The buyer must be hoping that the tenant drops dead next week.

Nutters. Unless they've got a plan to force the tenant into wanting to leave - because no tenant in his right mind is going to leave of his own accord when he's renting a 3 bedder like that for £650 pm. If theres a protected tenant that normally means they've been there for 10 years or something doesnt it?

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It's the dippy bird economy.

Somehow it doesn't seem to bode well for the UK :lol:

No offence ladies ;)

As discussed here many times on hpc --- SO often it's the bird who insists on "getting on the ladder" no matter WHAT the cost/price... :rolleyes:

How many of you have had massive arguments with a/their bird about the state of the pwoperty "market" - arguments in which ALL LOGIC and COMMON SENSE are thrown out the window.... by her? :rolleyes::rolleyes:

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  • 312 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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