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The Ego Epidemic

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Good Article from the daily mail - while related to women is perhaps is one of the causes of the financial cnsis... a society where everyone has a deluded opinion of themselves

The Ego Epidemic

Us women are more egocentric and narcissistic than we ever used to be, according to extensive research by two leading psychologists.

More of us have huge expectations of ourselves, our lives and everyone in them. We think the universe resolves around us, with a deluded sense of our own fabulousness, and believe we are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than we actually are.

We have trouble accepting criticism and extending empathy because we are so preoccupied with ourselves.

Am I making you angry by telling you this? It figures. Narcissistic or egotistical women do have an overwhelming sense of entitlement and arrogance.

Of course, I joke, but researchers say there is growing evidence of an epidemic of ego-itis everywhere.

Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are 'special'.

Psychology professors Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell analysed studies on 37,000 college students in 2006.

In a survey, 30 per cent of them said they believed they should get good grades simply for turning up.

NET WORTH: Facebook is a boon for those with narcissistic traits, who use the networking site for self-promotion, says a recent study

And it's not just about how intelligent they think they are. In the workplace, in friendships, even in motherhood, the pervading culture seems to have become one of competitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship.

But the sphere in which the signs of self-obsession are perhaps most obvious, and the consequences most immediately felt, is the dating one.

In a recent magazine article, four women in their late 20s and 30s shared their thoughts about why they were still single. A 39-year-old beauty director claimed to be too independent for a relationship.

A 38-year-old music agent attributed her single status to the fact she was an alpha female - independent, feisty, strong-minded, high-achieving and intimidating

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1213212/The-ego-epidemic-more-inflated-sense-fabulousness.html#ixzz1OLLJVQyT

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Yup,I work in a female dominated environment and I can relate to this completely. I have also used dating sites for more yrs than I like to recall and have recently removed my profile. I few yrs ago I would expect to get a 20-30% reply rate from mails I sent,okay I'm now older but I'm in better shape than I was then,now I'd say I'd be lucky to get 2% reply rate. So I decided to give and I'm glad I did. The women tended to have very high expectations,which is great,but their expectations were clearly not being met.

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Zen masters always said that enlightenment was the return to the totally ordinary.

So I guess my member title makes me a enlightened ... or did I just blow it right there? B)

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Oddly enough, I was talking about this only today with a friend - but this is one of my pet subjects.

Yes, we are living not just in an era of Ego but in an era of Narcissism.

This article will try to interpret the rationale for the elimination of 5 of the 10 currently recognized DSM-IV-R personality disorders with a specific focus on the Cluster B or “dramatic” personality disorders (NPD, BPD, ASPD and HPD).

The New York Times reports in A Fate that Narcissists Will Hate: Being Ignored that:

The fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (due out in 2013, and known as DSM-5) has eliminated five of the 10 personality disorders that are listed in the current edition. Narcissistic personality disorder is the most well-known of the five, and its absence has caused the most stir in professional circles.

The DSM is used by psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, social workers and other mental health professionals to diagnose different mental illnesses like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depressive disorders, anxiety disorders, personality disorders and other behavioral and cognitive disturbances. As stated in the NYT excerpt, the 5th edition of the DSM is “eliminating” half of the currently recognized personality disorders including 2 of the 4 Cluster B personality disorders; Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD).

Does this mean that there will no longer be such a thing as narcissists, histrionics, borderlines and antisocials?

Hope springs eternal, but no. The APA (American Psychiatric Association) seems to be collapsing the existing 10 diagnoses into 5 diagnostic buckets, which means it will probably be even more difficult for the average Joe or Jane to figure out what is going on with their loved one/tormenter. Just because the current members of the DSM committee are doing away with a particular disorder in the Manual doesn’t mean it no longer exists. If only it were that easy!

For example, there used to be a Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder in the DSM-III, but it was removed from the DSM-IV because women’s groups felt it unfairly pathologized women. This doesn’t mean that these behaviors ceased to exist; it’s just that the APA terminated a specific cognitive-behavioral phenomenon and hid it in Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified due to political pressure.

Another example is the APA’s failure to officially acknowledge Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) and Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP). Numerous studies have been done by credible researchers documenting and quantifying these behaviors. Individuals who have been the target of these pathological and malicious behaviors know full well how real they are. Yet, the APA won’t touch it with a 10-foot pole, probably because it would also assign pathology to a great many women.

Never forget that both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association are very political organizations and the DSM is in some ways a manifestation of political infighting, allegiances, prejudices, zeitgeist and feminism. Don’t even get me started on the blatant sexism and male bashing engaged in by Division 35 of the APA; the Society for the Psychology of Women. Apologies for my digression.

http://www.shrink4men.com/2010/12/01/narcissistic-personality-disorder-and-histrionic-personality-disorder-to-be-eliminated-in-the-dsm-v-welcome-to-starbucks-diagnostics/

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Yup,I work in a female dominated environment and I can relate to this completely. I have also used dating sites for more yrs than I like to recall and have recently removed my profile. I few yrs ago I would expect to get a 20-30% reply rate from mails I sent,okay I'm now older but I'm in better shape than I was then,now I'd say I'd be lucky to get 2% reply rate. So I decided to give and I'm glad I did. The women tended to have very high expectations,which is great,but their expectations were clearly not being met.

Oddly enough, I deleted profiles I had on several dating sites only this week. Many months ago I stopped looking on such sites as places to date but as places to study the Human Female personality - even that now is no longer of interest.

I have simply given up on having one nutjob after another contact me.

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A 38-year-old music agent attributed her single status to the fact she was an alpha female - independent, feisty, strong-minded, high-achieving and intimidating

IMPO if any woman you meet describes herself as being 'feisty' - run, run a mile and do not look back.

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I remember once, when I was working in a shop in my shirt sleeves, this quite hot girl asked me something but sort of made it clear she was in no way interested.

Later I noticed her watching me getting my jacket out of my, clearly executive model, car in the car park.

She then sidled back in again later with another query and was all over me like a rash.

If I saw some hot bird working in a shop, I wouldn't care what car she drove, I'd still totally do her regardless.

And there you are, a perfect example, of why men are less shallow than women..........I think. :unsure:

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Oddly enough, I was talking about this only today with a friend - but this is one of my pet subjects.

Yes, we are living not just in an era of Ego but in an era of Narcissism.

Which is fanned of course by the likes of Facebook. I really starting to go off social media.

Especially the "in a relationship" with someone they have never met, or thousands of miles away on the other side of the world. People are bonkers.

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Twitter#s even worse. Everybody's a celebrity.

An endless stream of useless twits from wannabee nonentities.

"OMG! Bought some Broccoli!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hardly Oscar Wilde is it?

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and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are 'special'.

Bizarrely I was watching this very show tonight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rIPe5akN48&feature=related

The women tended to have very high expectations,which is great,but their expectations were clearly not being met.

Must be solvent, have own car and house?

(Best to take along your last few bank statements on your first date.)

I remember this shrill, horse-faced city lawyer I had just met, ticking off her wish list for her ideal man

A (male) friend of mine once listed in great and endless detail his ideal woman. I had to tell him that short of employing "Weird Science", there was no way such a woman existed.

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This is great news for businesses selling "me me me", luxury premium products. People can't get enough.

I should have trained as a plastic surgeon.

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I remember this shrill, horse-faced city lawyer I had just met, ticking off her wish list for her ideal man when I was in the park with a group of friends picnicking in my late twenties.

Poetic, tall, athletic, strong, impetuous, wild-eyed, humorous, rides wild broncos bareback, etc. you get the ghist. I just found the words popped out of my mouth: "Why would a man like that be interested in you?".

I couldn't take it back. I still remember the stony, stony coldness.

(EDIT: Looking back, I hope it helped her come to her senses and have a happy life.)

Because she looks like a horse? :blink:

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I just found the words popped out of my mouth: "Why would a man like that be interested in you?".

I couldn't take it back. I still remember the stony, stony coldness.

<Sucks air through teeth>

I was expecting the punchline to be that you'd ended up marrying her...

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I have met more men with NPD. They are very insecure and needy, which you don't notice at first due to their inflated ego and deluded fantasies. The only real solution is not to interact, I mentally put a sign round their necks reading 'don't feed the animal'.

I'd love to know if people have techniques for dealing with true NPDs in the workplace (where you can't just walk away). These people damage everything they touch.

After years of coping with one, out of sheer tiredness I gave in to a bit of ego stroking which seemed to buy some respite briefly, but the disorder escalated into narcissistic rage.

It also comes across as an incurable disorder, is this true?

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Oddly enough, I deleted profiles I had on several dating sites only this week. Many months ago I stopped looking on such sites as places to date but as places to study the Human Female personality - even that now is no longer of interest.

I have simply given up on having one nutjob after another contact me.

What happened to the EA that messaged you?

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Good Article from the daily mail - while related to women is perhaps is one of the causes of the financial cnsis... a society where everyone has a deluded opinion of themselves

The Ego Epidemic

Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are 'special'.

This interests me as a parent. The tendency to excessively praise children's achievements and attributes seems to be ubiquitous. Have any of the well-read posters here any advice on encouraging children without creating little ego maniacs?

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I don't know where you people live, but I have had some very nice ladyfriends who have been intelligent and clever, liked rumpy-pumpy, and didn't look like a horse, and were so nice, I even put them on the car insurance!

I don't have an "ego" and nor did they! :o:blink:

We may not have been "ideal" partners for life, but we were partners for a time!

None of them wanted my money, even if it fell out of my trouser pocket when I was taking them off!

I think the "internet" is to blame! :huh:

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Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are 'special'.

This interests me as a parent. The tendency to excessively praise children's achievements and attributes seems to be ubiquitous. Have any of the well-read posters here any advice on encouraging children without creating little ego maniacs?

Yes, you should tell them the truth!

Praise them when they have done well!

Pull them up for a half-arsed performance!

Life is like that! :huh:

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I know some women who come across as real spoilt princesses but once i got to know them they are actually fairly normal and easy going. The reason they act like that is that they are insecure and thus adopt the outward persona of the stereotypical alpha female when they around people they are uneasy with. Once the guard is let down they are fine. I wonder how much of this behaviour (in men and women) is just act to make themselves appear like the perfect? human as has been force fed to them through the media.

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There is the inflated ego, and putting on a front, then there is NPD. For NPD there is a high level of delusion and pathological dishonesty.

From what I can tell, the NPD was spoiled rotten in childhood with false praise, but lacked any genuine love and affection from the parents.

They are also mimics, having no personality of their own, or an incredible dislike of themselves, they simply take on bits and pieces from others, or television.

They will not be able to form proper relationships, but will seek out an enabler, who is parasitic. This always amused me, as you have this massive ego wandering around, while being ripped off by all and sundry.

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I have met more men with NPD. They are very insecure and needy, which you don't notice at first due to their inflated ego and deluded fantasies. The only real solution is not to interact, I mentally put a sign round their necks reading 'don't feed the animal'.

I'd love to know if people have techniques for dealing with true NPDs in the workplace (where you can't just walk away). These people damage everything they touch.

After years of coping with one, out of sheer tiredness I gave in to a bit of ego stroking which seemed to buy some respite briefly, but the disorder escalated into narcissistic rage.

It also comes across as an incurable disorder, is this true?

Yes, it is incurable.

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As the article says, these women seem to regard a date as chance to recite a list of their achievements and perceived attributes. They are conflating female attraction with male attraction.

She is not going to have a high flying career when she is pregnant and looking after the kids. Men will always select the young and attractive woman over the elderly, rich and powerful woman. Her role is to maintain the family and support the husband in his successes. A kind and attractive woman in the home is far preferable to a ball breaking business type.

Men are not choosing them because what they are offering is not attractive.

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Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are 'special'.

This interests me as a parent. The tendency to excessively praise children's achievements and attributes seems to be ubiquitous. Have any of the well-read posters here any advice on encouraging children without creating little ego maniacs?

....constructive criticism, taking your children to parts of the world where poverty can be seen in front of them, teaching them that we are all different but everyone matters.....lead by example, treat others with respect and expect your kids to do the same...say no as many times as yes, teach them not to be wasteful with food, electricy, things we take for granted that many do not have enough of.....be kind to animals no matter how small or insignificant....is a start. ;)

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  • 284 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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