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SarahBell

Dear Mr Cameron

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Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing England's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the

money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the

following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.

Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.

Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -

Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids toschool/college/university -

Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....

and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme

that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to

reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them

down.

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back

their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

If not, please disregard.

Grumpies of the World Unite

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing

home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and

walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical

treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying

it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped

instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed

and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and

snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual

counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on

request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with

gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards

would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.

Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and

pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

------------------------------------------------------------------------

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the

mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in

Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in

the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are

unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our

country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a

Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours?

It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for

centuries and we're not using it anymore.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a

courthouse or Parliament, is this -

You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit

Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers,

judges and politicians..... It creates a hostile work environment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also;

Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of

offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us

grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!

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Dear Sarah,

Giving 10 million people one million pounds each would cost TEN TRILLION pounds. Where are we supposed to get that money from? The total tax take for the year is only just over half a trilion pounds.

Regards,

"Dave" Cameron.

PS: I hope the pensioners don't mind slopping out!

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I like the idea of putting pensioners in jail.

I think the criminals should be put in new build flats with bars on them, that would keep the developers in business.

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Dear Sarah,

Giving 10 million people one million pounds each would cost TEN TRILLION pounds. Where are we supposed to get that money from? The total tax take for the year is only just over half a trilion pounds.

Regards,

"Dave" Cameron.

PS: I hope the pensioners don't mind slopping out!

LOL It was forwarded me from a pensioner and I thought it was amusing.

I wasn't expecting anyone to take it seriously.

Just think how empty the supermarkets would be a on a Thursday though if they were all locked up ! :)

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You also need to consider the inflationary effect of injecting ten trillion pounds into the economy via the pensioner base. A packet of Werther's Originals could easily cost more than a house!

;)

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Dear Sarah,

Giving 10 million people one million pounds each would cost TEN TRILLION pounds. Where are we supposed to get that money from? The total tax take for the year is only just over half a trilion pounds.

Actually, in real numbers (i.e. not the smaller American numbers that politicians use) a million millions is a billion. A billion billions is a trillion.

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Actually, in real numbers (i.e. not the smaller American numbers that politicians use) a million millions is a billion. A billion billions is a trillion.

That's the old numbering scheme. The new scheme isn't just a politicians' trick. It's used through out economics and science.

Edited by Nationalist

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I like the idea of putting pensioners in jail.

I think the criminals should be put in new build flats with bars on them, that would keep the developers in business.

...the pensioners would then have a higher standard of living and would eat well...but it would cost more.... :rolleyes:

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You also need to consider the inflationary effect of injecting ten trillion pounds into the economy via the pensioner base. A packet of Werther's Originals could easily cost more than a house!

;)

:lol::lol::lol:

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Dear Sarah,

Giving 10 million people one million pounds each would cost TEN TRILLION pounds. Where are we supposed to get that money from? The total tax take for the year is only just over half a trilion pounds.

Regards,

"Dave" Cameron.

PS: I hope the pensioners don't mind slopping out!

Exactly and that is the plan -

trick those in the public sector to go for the shenanigan - bloated public sector solved. Once the ink dry and then they realised

that their £1m doesn't buy that many things, it is too late.

That will also cause hyperinflation - so, national debt problem fixed.

All mortgage debt will also be wiped out pretty quickly - debt bubble fixed.

Now sterling is worth very little, we can out compete China - unemployment fixed.

nice plan though but as soon as I hear this, I will swap all my sterling for foreign currencies..

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Dear Sarah,

Giving 10 million people one million pounds each would cost TEN TRILLION pounds. Where are we supposed to get that money from? The total tax take for the year is only just over half a trilion pounds.

Regards,

"Dave" Cameron.

PS: I hope the pensioners don't mind slopping out!

PPS: I think my predecessor tried something pretty similar and I'm not sure that it worked for him....

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  • 312 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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