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The Masked Tulip

An Estate Agent Fancies Me...

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After months of cajoling a friend persuaded myself to stick up a photograph of myself on a national dating site.

My friend even took a nice new photo of TMT.

Well, there is an estate agent in a South Wales office that I visit.

She is usually rude to me, seems unable to talk without sounding rude, loud, curt and just plain old obnoxious.

If you ask her to get you the details of a property it appears to be that you have asked her to climb Mountain Everest and then make love to the fattest man in the World on top of said mountain. The filing cabinet with the property details in must be all of a mamouth distance from her of right next to her desk.

If you ask her for any information you get the impression that you have interrupted her vital research into a cure for all known diseases whilst simultaneously planning the first Mars landing.

She appears IMPO to have a real elevated opinion of herself. Everytime I see her I am reminded of that Carly Simon song 'You're So Vain...'.

The dating site I am on has the option for people to click on your profile and let you know that they like the look of you, want to go on a date, etc.

I just logged on and am horrified to see that this EA has added me as a 'would like to go on a date with'.

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After months of cajoling a friend persuaded myself to stick up a photograph of myself on a national dating site.

My friend even took a nice new photo of TMT.

Well, there is an estate agent in a South Wales office that I visit.

She is usually rude to me, seems unable to talk without sounding rude, loud, curt and just plain old obnoxious.

If you ask her to get you the details of a property it appears to be that you have asked her to climb Mountain Everest and then make love to the fattest man in the World on top of said mountain. The filing cabinet with the property details in must be all of a mamouth distance from her of right next to her desk.

If you ask her for any information you get the impression that you have interrupted her vital research into a cure for all known diseases whilst simultaneously planning the first Mars landing.

She appears IMPO to have a real elevated opinion of herself. Everytime I see her I am reminded of that Carly Simon song 'You're So Vain...'.

The dating site I am on has the option for people to click on your profile and let you know that they like the look of you, want to go on a date, etc.

I just logged on and am horrified to see that this EA has added me as a 'would like to go on a date with'.

Come on then post her piccy

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I so much want to but I know I shouldn't. So I won't.

You're pulling her pigtails with the preamble. All that, she's horrible, I hate her, she hates me ... drop the act and ask her out. Or thump her on the shoulder, it's the same thing.

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I so much want to but I know I shouldn't. So I won't.

Link to her profile then, since it is already a website anyone can access and the dating site would welcome the extra traffic?

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Given your avatar I'm sure it will be easy for you to get her off her high horse into submission :D

Come on, admit it, you surely would like to give her a good spanking...

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You should go on a date as HPC research. We need a good 'asset' in the industry! Dam, I've been watching too much Spooks.

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I just logged on and am horrified to see that this EA has added me as a 'would like to go on a date with'.

...were you not flattered?....go for it, let us know how you got on.. ;)

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Even James Bond slept with a few baddies, all in the name of queen and country. So take one for the team and find the inside info. We want to know what's really happening with the housing market, and you sir, are our spy. ;)

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You should dive into her portfolio, then drive her on a romantic tour of propertyville, finally ending with a nice "ooh, youll have to up your offer as there is another interested party"

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After months of cajoling a friend persuaded myself to stick up a photograph of myself on a national dating site.

My friend even took a nice new photo of TMT.

Well, there is an estate agent in a South Wales office that I visit.

She is usually rude to me, seems unable to talk without sounding rude, loud, curt and just plain old obnoxious.

If you ask her to get you the details of a property it appears to be that you have asked her to climb Mountain Everest and then make love to the fattest man in the World on top of said mountain. The filing cabinet with the property details in must be all of a mamouth distance from her of right next to her desk.

If you ask her for any information you get the impression that you have interrupted her vital research into a cure for all known diseases whilst simultaneously planning the first Mars landing.

She appears IMPO to have a real elevated opinion of herself. Everytime I see her I am reminded of that Carly Simon song 'You're So Vain...'.

The dating site I am on has the option for people to click on your profile and let you know that they like the look of you, want to go on a date, etc.

I just logged on and am horrified to see that this EA has added me as a 'would like to go on a date with'.

Would it really be a problem if you could never go into this estate agency again?

If she reminds you of the Carly Simon song she must at the very least be bangable, admit it, we don't think that about ugly people.

Get her into the sack and do the very worst that your avatar implies you're capable of, make her crawl, make her beg. Then never call back - if she gets in touch remind her of all the times she said she'd get back to you about a house.....

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After months of cajoling a friend persuaded myself to stick up a photograph of myself on a national dating site.

My friend even took a nice new photo of TMT.

Well, there is an estate agent in a South Wales office that I visit.

She is usually rude to me, seems unable to talk without sounding rude, loud, curt and just plain old obnoxious.

If you ask her to get you the details of a property it appears to be that you have asked her to climb Mountain Everest and then make love to the fattest man in the World on top of said mountain. The filing cabinet with the property details in must be all of a mamouth distance from her of right next to her desk.

If you ask her for any information you get the impression that you have interrupted her vital research into a cure for all known diseases whilst simultaneously planning the first Mars landing.

She appears IMPO to have a real elevated opinion of herself. Everytime I see her I am reminded of that Carly Simon song 'You're So Vain...'.

The dating site I am on has the option for people to click on your profile and let you know that they like the look of you, want to go on a date, etc.

I just logged on and am horrified to see that this EA has added me as a 'would like to go on a date with'.

:lol:

You've evidently been underestimating the power of your fatal charm!

(I take it you haven't been spraying yourself with Lynx Effect)

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After months of cajoling a friend persuaded myself to stick up a photograph of myself on a national dating site.

My friend even took a nice new photo of TMT.

Well, there is an estate agent in a South Wales office that I visit.

She is usually rude to me, seems unable to talk without sounding rude, loud, curt and just plain old obnoxious.

If you ask her to get you the details of a property it appears to be that you have asked her to climb Mountain Everest and then make love to the fattest man in the World on top of said mountain. The filing cabinet with the property details in must be all of a mamouth distance from her of right next to her desk.

If you ask her for any information you get the impression that you have interrupted her vital research into a cure for all known diseases whilst simultaneously planning the first Mars landing.

She appears IMPO to have a real elevated opinion of herself. Everytime I see her I am reminded of that Carly Simon song 'You're So Vain...'.

The dating site I am on has the option for people to click on your profile and let you know that they like the look of you, want to go on a date, etc.

I just logged on and am horrified to see that this EA has added me as a 'would like to go on a date with'.

I hope you do to her what estate agents have been doing to us for the past few years.

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  • 284 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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