Jump to content
House Price Crash Forum
bumpy

Estate Agent Euphemisms

Recommended Posts

With house prices on the turn, Estate Agents seem to be getting more desparate in the wording of their adverts.

Can we pick out the best, and also give what is a more realistic meaning.

Here is mine:

"Seldom available at this price" (never likely to be this expensive again).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Motivated Seller : " The seller is in negative equity"

Priced to Sell: " We know its still too bloody expensive, we hope a Russian oligarch wants to move to Surbiton"

Sold Subject to Contract:" Expect the board to disappear, only to be put back up in 6 months time when the price is reduced by 40%"

Edited by JustAnotherProle

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For we rural types:

"Idyllic" : Isolated

"Good access to motorway network" ; You wont get a job round here.

"converted barn/school/chapel"; overpriced for size and having undergone architectural contortions to get bedrooms and living areas into the building's shape.

"within reach of" no shops anwhere near the house.

Y

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Ideal for investors or first time buyers" = tiny box with little or no value as somewhere to live, only something to speculate with

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's a bit harsh, San Francisco has a digester which converts dog droppings to methane gas to use as fuel, very handy.

http://inhabitat.com/dog-poop-power-for-san-francisco/

Ok then heres another one....

"Yes" = Please feed me some dog droppings so that I may digest them and produce methane for use as a fuel thus escalating my contribution to society.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Good access to local shops and schools" On a noisy main road.

"Benefit from modernisation" Last time it saw a lick of paint Maggie Thatcher was PM.

"suit first time buyer" No body with any experience of owning property would be conned into paying such a price for a poky dump.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"property sold with tenant" = rent doesn't even cover mortgage let alone maintenance and fees

"benefiting from electric boiler central heating" = costs a fortune to keep warm

Edited by cica

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • 309 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.