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Not So 'premium' Bonds

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NOT SO PREMIUM BONDS

Many years ago

I had cash to invest

Try premium bonds

National Savings suggest

HM Treasury backed

Tax free prizes to win

Your capital is safe

Yours to cash in

I gave them a try

I had nothing to lose

Hoping every month

My numbers he’d choose

No knock on the door

No big prizes came

Month after month

It was always the same

So if I invest more

Then more chances there’ll be

So I gave them more cash

Surely now he’d pick me

After years of trying

I have finally given in

The biggest prize I received

Was a £50 win

Hardly enough

To keep up with inflation

My money has sat

In a state of stagnation

So after so long

My feelings are mixed

I can only conclude

The ERNIE is fixed

Dishing out prizes

To those in high places

Those who hold titles

Those who hold maces

I pay enough tax

Without paying anymore

I think its now time

To show ERNIE the door

I think Premium Bonds

Are a foregone conclusion

The element of luck

Is just an illusion

<_<

So then 'Gordon'

If your reading

Sit up, take note

And do your pleading

We know your game

We're about to riot

Or give us big wins

And we'll keep quite

:angry:

Modified to add last two verses.

Edited by Paperclip

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Guest absolutezero

I've had £700 in there for three years or so.

How much have I won? Nothing.

Could have had £800 if I put it in the bank.

I look at PBs as a bit of fun and not as a "serious investment" as the old bloke on the leaflet used to say.

Out of interest: You can tell the economy is in trouble. Premuim Bond adverts on TV. The Government want to borrow your money (for a tiny fee).

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Out of interest:  You can tell the economy is in trouble.  Premuim Bond adverts on TV.  The Government want to borrow your money (for a tiny fee).

agreed, but if its this bad do you want it in a commercial bank thats overlent to a public that might not be able to pay it back.

look at germany - 5 MILLION unemployed. it could be coming here.

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I've had PBs for years, and I always calculate my annual winnings as a percentage of my investment. This year It's about 4.8%. If I average the annual returns (some years good, others poor), I'm at least keeping up with post tax interest in BS accounts. And there's always a dream that I could win a big 'un e.g. £100k or £1m.

I like premium bonds.

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I've got the max (£30k) in there and some months I get nothing. However I find that overall is yields about 4-5% net :) ,

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Paperclip

Would it be possible to put a '0' (nothing) option on your PB poll so that we could also see how many are winning something against those who have never won anything?

Thanks

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Paperclip

Would it be possible to put a '0' (nothing) option on your PB poll so that we could also see how many are winning something against those who have never won anything?

Thanks

And those who have never bought the things.... I think I'd prefer to stick the horses :lol::lol::lol:

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Guest muttley
Good on you muttley, it gets better as time goes by.

Last 3 years returned  around 9% between us.  <_<

I thought it was random!

I drive past ERNIE on my way to work.I'll put in a good word for you.

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Paperclip

Would it be possible to put a '0' (nothing) option on your PB poll so that we could also see how many are winning something against those who have never won anything?

Thanks

Thats a good idea, but unfortunatly I seem to have messed up the poll abit and it won't let me back into alter it. I also unwittingly clicked the no reply section on it because I had already posted this thread, but now because there are no replies it seems destained to disappear down to the bottom of the page!

:(

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Like I say, like I say I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it, that's why my fee for this pi$$take is going to GREAT ORMOND STREET HOSPITAL. That's my FEE understand, not money out my own pocket.

I gave New Labour a couple of million quid in donations and received a knighthood for my trouble, it was all a miraculous coincidence you understand, but that's what I call value for money.

Now I'm flogging index linked bonds, they're guaranteed to match inflation, and the latter figures are guaranteed to be rigged, so you can't lose! You know the idea, 1% inflation means a 48p rise in old age pensions, the same applies to these bonds, you lend NS&I your life savings for some pitful return and it will be gleefully eroded without you even realising. Premium bonds are even better, 3% average return, no guarantee of winning anything apart from the guarantee of the capital being eroded to death.

Value Added is the name given to the way we measure how cost effective NS&I is at raising finance for the Government. The total cost of raising funds, including NS&I's operating costs, is compared to how much it would cost the Government to raise funds in the wholesale market.

That's right, NS&I is nothing more than a cheap way of financing our national debt.

I don't like liars. I don't like cheats. I don't like bullshitters. I don't like schmoozers and I don't like ****-lickers... they remind me of myself too much, you just don't want that!

But New Labour, well, I believe in 'em.

Edited by BuyingBear

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Results so far seem to be that people are winning collective small prizes but no individual big prizes. Even though premium bonds offer the same anonymity as the national lottery you still occasionally get to hear about big lottery winners. I have yet to hear about a big premium bond winner, other than a documentary I watched a while back about the Hamiltons, where Lady Hamilton claimed they had won a big prize?!

£50 Prize [ 1 ] [11.11%]

£100 Prize [ 8 ] [88.89%]

£500 Prize [ 0 ] [0.00%]

£1000 Prize [ 0 ] [0.00%]

£5000 Prize [ 0 ] [0.00%]

£10,000 Prize [ 0 ] [0.00%]

£25,000 Prize [ 0 ] [0.00%]

£50,000 Prize [ 0 ] [0.00%]

£100,000 Prize [ 0 ] [0.00%]

£1000,000 Prize [ 0 ] [0.00%]

:angry:

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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