Jump to content
House Price Crash Forum

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

lovelyhead

How Did You Guys Survive The Lead Up To Your Wedding?

Recommended Posts

I asked my Girlfriend of 6 years to marry me last week whilst on holiday and she said yes. I am a pretty introverted guy and hate any sort of fuss. My girlfriend fiancée is the opposite though. I would be happy to just go sneak away and get married but this is not the way it is going to happen. Oh no. 100's of guests, big party all the usual. It fills me with dread. At least she doesn't want to go crazy with extravagant things and it will be a cheap wedding compared to most I hear about.

When I proposed I thought that we would just be engaged for a while but within a week the venue has been booked and we are due to be married next August. This has taken me by surprise. My mother and my mother in law have just went bat shit crazy as well. I suggested that I just drive myself to the wedding because I don't care about a flash wedding car and the two mothers gave me looks like I had just pissed in their cornflakes!

To be honest I have less than no interest in weddings and am only doing it because I love my girlfriend fiancée and she has always dreamed of getting married.

I am alone in thinking these thoughts? How did you guys get through it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I asked my Girlfriend of 6 years to marry me last week whilst on holiday and she said yes. I am a pretty introverted guy and hate any sort of fuss. My girlfriend fiancée is the opposite though. I would be happy to just go sneak away and get married but this is not the way it is going to happen. Oh no. 100's of guests, big party all the usual. It fills me with dread. At least she doesn't want to go crazy with extravagant things and it will be a cheap wedding compared to most I hear about.

When I proposed I thought that we would just be engaged for a while but within a week the venue has been booked and we are due to be married next August. This has taken me by surprise. My mother and my mother in law have just went bat shit crazy as well. I suggested that I just drive myself to the wedding because I don't care about a flash wedding car and the two mothers gave me looks like I had just pissed in their cornflakes!

To be honest I have less than no interest in weddings and am only doing it because I love my girlfriend fiancée and she has always dreamed of getting married.

I am alone in thinking these thoughts? How did you guys get through it?

Why did you propose then? You know weddings drive most apparently sane women totally off their heads. If you don't want it to be next August, TELL her. Assert yourself. Or regret it ever after.rolleyes.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am alone in thinking these thoughts? How did you guys get through it?

It all boils down to one question you need to find the answer too.

The question is : How much control do I really want over my own life. Everything else is about protecting our own ego....There are no rules. How much of your own independance and feelings of self worth are you willing to give away to your partner for a quiet life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why did you propose then? You know weddings drive most apparently sane women totally off their heads. If you don't want it to be next August, TELL her. Assert yourself. Or regret it ever after.rolleyes.gif

I proposed because I love her very much and the status quo was starting to become untenable. Getting married in August isn't really that big a deal I suppose. Why prolong the madness! ;) I just wondered how other guys coped with the irrationality!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I asked my Girlfriend of 6 years to marry me last week whilst on holiday and she said yes. I am a pretty introverted guy and hate any sort of fuss. My girlfriend fiancée is the opposite though. I would be happy to just go sneak away and get married but this is not the way it is going to happen. Oh no. 100's of guests, big party all the usual. It fills me with dread. At least she doesn't want to go crazy with extravagant things and it will be a cheap wedding compared to most I hear about.

When I proposed I thought that we would just be engaged for a while but within a week the venue has been booked and we are due to be married next August. This has taken me by surprise. My mother and my mother in law have just went bat shit crazy as well. I suggested that I just drive myself to the wedding because I don't care about a flash wedding car and the two mothers gave me looks like I had just pissed in their cornflakes!

To be honest I have less than no interest in weddings and am only doing it because I love my girlfriend fiancée and she has always dreamed of getting married.

I am alone in thinking these thoughts? How did you guys get through it?

I'm not a guy, but I'll answer anyway.

They're your biggest problem IMHO.

My mother was a pain in the backside when we got married. She's doing her best to interfere in my brother's wedding preparations. It's near damn killing her that she hasn't got any leverage, because he's footing the entire bill himself.

My advice, either develop selective deafness or elope.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear about it!!

I've been seeing my (much older) girlfriend for 3 years now and marriage has been brought up a few times. She's great but I'm naturally wary - she has an asset, I have more years of potential earnings - she has baggage etc etc. We get on like best friends, though - couldn't imagine a better match (I think! Still young).

What we've said is if it happens, we will get it done abroad, just the two of us - some place nice like St Lucia or even over in Disney Florida lol!!

I can't imagine the fussing you're talking about - would drive me insane......... I'd agree - speak up and be brutally honest or forever be miserable!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear about it!!

I've been seeing my (much older) girlfriend for 3 years now and marriage has been brought up a few times. She's great but I'm naturally wary - she has an asset, I have more years of potential earnings - she has baggage etc etc. We get on like best friends, though - couldn't imagine a better match (I think! Still young).

What we've said is if it happens, we will get it done abroad, just the two of us - some place nice like St Lucia or even over in Disney Florida lol!!

I can't imagine the fussing you're talking about - would drive me insane......... I'd agree - speak up and be brutally honest or forever be miserable!

I think we are similar in some ways. I am 26 and the other half is 29. I proposed to her while we were on a cruise ship and at the time suggested that we could maybe get married on-board on another cruise. This would have eased all my worries as all the food is taken care off, there is a chapel on board, entertainment is provided and we wouldn't need to worry about a honeymoon etc. The answer was "but what about all the family and friends. They wouldn't be able to afford to come." So that was that. I am quite pissed off about that to be honest. I suppose when it boils down to it, it is really the brides big day and they have probably been dreaming about it all their lives.

We get on like a house on fire most of the time and I don't want to spoil her dreams so I suppose I just have to just follow the path of least resistance for the next few months until it's all over. It is a shame I feel this way though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Moral of the story, don't get pissed up on holiday and say things you might regret.

Too late now, the witches are already cackling around the couldron, you can't un-ring a bell etc etc etc.

EDIT- scrub that, Congratulations to the pair of you!!! ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Moral of the story, don't get pissed up on holiday and say things you might regret.

Too late now, the witches are already cackling around the couldron, you can't un-ring a bell etc etc etc.

EDIT- scrub that, Congratulations to the pair of you!!! ;)

:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think we are similar in some ways. I am 26 and the other half is 29. I proposed to her while we were on a cruise ship and at the time suggested that we could maybe get married on-board on another cruise. This would have eased all my worries as all the food is taken care off, there is a chapel on board, entertainment is provided and we wouldn't need to worry about a honeymoon etc. The answer was "but what about all the family and friends. They wouldn't be able to afford to come." So that was that. I am quite pissed off about that to be honest. I suppose when it boils down to it, it is really the brides big day and they have probably been dreaming about it all their lives.

We get on like a house on fire most of the time and I don't want to spoil her dreams so I suppose I just have to just follow the path of least resistance for the next few months until it's all over. It is a shame I feel this way though.

Hmmm, don't think you should be feeling this way, man... just being honest. I don't buy this 'it's her day' thing. Well I do, but not to the extent others do. You should be completely happy, too.

My girlfriend's near two decades older with kids (there I said it - fully expecting SOME flak!) - over the internet I guess this doesn't sound great! But anyway... I guess she's done it before - but we want it to be just us. Venue and honeymoon would be in the oner, no fussing, just a great big holiday, really!

I almost get annoyed just reading what you're writing, as if these other people are budging in on what you would rather keep as a private event with your now fiance. Can imagine this must be very annoying - you know the cincher for me would be if costs spiralled out of control. For me £4-5k absolute max (even that scares me lol - clothing, nice holiday, flights, everything included) - none of this £20k+ nonsense I know some do!! One thing I WONT put up with is financial incompetence.

EDIT - you should speak to her. Even if it provokes an argument - tell her how you feel and don't 'bottle it' (not being nasty when I say that).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We get on like a house on fire most of the time and I don't want to spoil her dreams so I suppose I just have to just follow the path of least resistance for the next few months until it's all over. It is a shame I feel this way though.

Dont make the mistake of thinking it ends when you get married........marriage is just the start of following many, many paths of least resistance...men often don`t realise this until its gone on for far too long...we are stupid...I definately have been, but am quite sure a huge percentage of of us are...

All because we want a quiet life........ :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congratulations! Your wedding day will be the best day of your life! Your fiancée will go nuts but just roll with it. Within reason, go along with what she says and just enjoy the day - it will go very quickly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congratulations! Your wedding day will be the best day of your life! Your fiancée will go nuts but just roll with it. Within reason, go along with what she says and just enjoy the day - it will go very quickly.

Good to see a bit positivity, too.... good on you!! Too many miserable sods here lol..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm, don't think you should be feeling this way, man... just being honest. I don't buy this 'it's her day' thing. Well I do, but not to the extent others do. You should be completely happy, too.

My girlfriend's near two decades older with kids (there I said it - fully expecting SOME flak!) - over the internet I guess this doesn't sound great! But anyway... I guess she's done it before - but we want it to be just us. Venue and honeymoon would be in the oner, no fussing, just a great big holiday, really!

I almost get annoyed just reading what you're writing, as if these other people are budging in on what you would rather keep as a private event with your now fiance. Can imagine this must be very annoying - you know the cincher for me would be if costs spiralled out of control. For me £4-5k absolute max (clothing, nice holiday, flights, everything included) - none of this £20k+ nonsense I know some do!! One thing I WONT put up with is financial incompetence.

EDIT - you should speak to her. Even if it provokes an argument - tell her how you feel and don't 'bottle it' (not being nasty when I say that).

As long as your both adults age doesn't really matter in my opinion.

Yes I suppose if there wasn't any family to worry about then she would probably have went for getting married on board a cruise ship.

You bring up another reason I love her. She is more financially prudent than me and I'm Scottish! She has saved a few grand especially for the wedding so there will be no debt. If we don't have the money for something then we won't get it. Simple as that. She is different to most women I know as well as she isn't into buying tons of pointless crap on credit. Although she does use the narcissist's favourite website to talk to her friends unfortunately. No-one's perfect.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just let the wife get on with it.

I agree it's a huge waste of money on some levels, although we did have a great day.

If your making a speech I'm sure the adrenalin on the day will get you through it and a few pints beforehand. My best man help as he didn't bother to prepare anything and just rambled on after having about 6 pints.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You bring up another reason I love her. She is more financially prudent than me and I'm Scottish!

Although she does use the narcissist's favourite website to talk to her friends unfortunately.

First line: Jesus! :D

Second line: facebook?

You love her - make it a good one and hope you remain happy! :)

Oh:

'As long as your both adults age doesn't really matter in my opinion.' - exactly! Cheers B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whats the real problem? Is it just 100s of people all turning out with eyes focussed on you and your missus. If so, i can symapthise with those thoughts as i hate being the centre of attention like that as well. But when you get down to it, its just for one day and maybe you should just grit your teeth for the day for her sake.

You should still let her know how you feel though. Bottling stuff like this up and smiling like everything is dandy will just lead to resentment further down the line.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whats the real problem? Is it just 100s of people all turning out with eyes focussed on you and your missus. If so, i can symapthise with those thoughts as i hate being the centre of attention like that as well. But when you get down to it, its just for one day and maybe you should just grit your teeth for the day for her sake.

You should still let her know how you feel though. Bottling stuff like this up and smiling like everything is dandy will just lead to resentment further down the line.

Yeah that pretty much sums it up. I think it is fair to say that I am a bit of a social recluse. I hate parties at the best of times never mind when the party is for me. The other thing that gets to me is the formalness of it. It is so far removed for everyday life and that scares me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah that pretty much sums it up. I think it is fair to say that I am a bit of a social recluse. I hate parties at the best of times never mind when the party is for me. The other thing that gets to me is the formalness of it. It is so far removed for everyday life and that scares me.

Ive never been married but ive always found that in intimidating social situations like this, a nice swally beforehand does wonders ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Firstly, congratulations!!

Secondly, it really is just one day, but you should have some input to make it as comfortable for you as possible. When my husband and I got married last year, we had a huge South African braii down our local rugby club. Very informal but loads of good food and booze. The only formalities were the speeches and the first dance. I am also quite shy, this kind of wedding suited me fine.

Also, we didn't hire cars, just asked our rich Dr friend to drive us to the registry office!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • 312 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.