Works Christmas Party

[Bosh]

Got my works bash tonight and like every year I`m probably, no!!! defintely going to be hanging tomorrow morning but before I neck a few too many I wanted to take this opportunity to wish all the Guys and Gals on HPC seasons greetings and urge you all to exchange the tin foil for party hats, get off the computer for at least one night over the festive season and talk absolute ****** to some real people.

I leave you with the following nugget of wisdom

Hangovers are big business. Each December sales in Alka-Seltzer treble as we rev up for a month of getting geoffed on a nightly basis. Restaurants make a killing serving breakfast and brunch to rescue the ailing hoser, and health food shops hawk a bizarre array of isotonic drinks and prickly pear pills. Recently ‘The Hungover Cookbookhttp://www.assoc-amazon.co.uk/e/ir?t=lovefoodcom-21&l=as2&o=2&a=022408657X’ posited a bunch of recipes as the essential dishes for tackling a hangover.

It’s all ********. There is no such thing as a hangover cure. I know this because I’ve tried most of them. I’m sure you have too. Fry-ups, Nurofen, Alka-Seltzer, Ribena, bacon sandwiches, soup, coffee, sweet tea, Coca-Cola, spoon-fed sugar, Bloody Marys, McDonald’s, orange juice, milk thistle…none of them consistently works. Some even make you feel worse. If I were fibbing then there’d be no hangover industry. There would be a panacea and we could all get nandoed 7 nights a week with impunity.

Perhaps the greatest fib of all is coffee. There is very, very little to recommend coffee as a hangover cure. After all, the principle cause of the thudding in your head is dehydration. Coffee will only compound this problem. Sure, the effects of the caffeine might give you a brief reprieve, but in the longer term coffee will only make you feel more wretched. The same goes for exercise. The idea that you might sweat out the alcohol is bonkers. You’re only further dehydrating yourself.

Some ‘cures’ half work and half aggravate. Orange juice restores sugar and vitamins to the body, but its acidity can make that brand of churny-churny hangover a great deal worse. Hair of the dog, that old lush’s favourite, can perk you up momentarily, but like some pissed Canute you are only delaying the inevitable and, consequently, your recovery.

There are those remedies that do help to alleviate symptoms to an extent, but they largely depend on the kind of hangover you are enduring. If it is hypoglycaemia that is causing you to feel like you’ve been hit by a bus then a can of coke can help, providing much-needed blood sugar and helping to rehydrate you. The sainted bacon sandwich is rightly revered, its balance of salt and sugar undoubtedly reviving that which your body lacks. A medic friend often takes Dioralyte, that post-squits rehydrating tablet. Makes sense in theory, but considering she is the worst hangover sufferer I know it’s difficult to put a great deal of faith in this technique.

Ultimately none of these even comes close to guaranteeing your recovery. Yet to wake to the gaping reality that very little besides time will cure alcohol’s cruel retaliation is to wake to a world that is very bleak indeed. In situations as abject as a truly Pantagruelian hangover we must take solace in such placebos.

Enjoy

Bosh

[RichB]

Ultimately none of these even comes close to guaranteeing your recovery. Yet to wake to the gaping reality that very little besides time will cure alcohol's cruel retaliation is to wake to a world that is very bleak indeed. In situations as abject as a truly Pantagruelian hangover we must take solace in such placebos.

Bosh

/bosh

/chicken

/dance

Incidentally, are you familiar with the use of a goose's neck?

[Bossybabe]

Got my works bash tonight and like every year I`m probably, no!!! defintely going to be hanging tomorrow morning but before I neck a few too many I wanted to take this opportunity to wish all the Guys and Gals on HPC seasons greetings and urge you all to exchange the tin foil for party hats, get off the computer for at least one night over the festive season and talk absolute ****** to some real people.

I leave you with the following nugget of wisdom

Hangovers are big business. Each December sales in Alka-Seltzer treble as we rev up for a month of getting geoffed on a nightly basis. Restaurants make a killing serving breakfast and brunch to rescue the ailing hoser, and health food shops hawk a bizarre array of isotonic drinks and prickly pear pills. Recently 'The Hungover Cookbookhttp://www.assoc-amazon.co.uk/e/ir?t=lovefoodcom-21&l=as2&o=2&a=022408657X' posited a bunch of recipes as the essential dishes for tackling a hangover.

It's all ********. There is no such thing as a hangover cure. I know this because I've tried most of them. I'm sure you have too. Fry-ups, Nurofen, Alka-Seltzer, Ribena, bacon sandwiches, soup, coffee, sweet tea, Coca-Cola, spoon-fed sugar, Bloody Marys, McDonald's, orange juice, milk thistle…none of them consistently works. Some even make you feel worse. If I were fibbing then there'd be no hangover industry. There would be a panacea and we could all get nandoed 7 nights a week with impunity.

Perhaps the greatest fib of all is coffee. There is very, very little to recommend coffee as a hangover cure. After all, the principle cause of the thudding in your head is dehydration. Coffee will only compound this problem. Sure, the effects of the caffeine might give you a brief reprieve, but in the longer term coffee will only make you feel more wretched. The same goes for exercise. The idea that you might sweat out the alcohol is bonkers. You're only further dehydrating yourself.

Some 'cures' half work and half aggravate. Orange juice restores sugar and vitamins to the body, but its acidity can make that brand of churny-churny hangover a great deal worse. Hair of the dog, that old lush's favourite, can perk you up momentarily, but like some pissed Canute you are only delaying the inevitable and, consequently, your recovery.

There are those remedies that do help to alleviate symptoms to an extent, but they largely depend on the kind of hangover you are enduring. If it is hypoglycaemia that is causing you to feel like you've been hit by a bus then a can of coke can help, providing much-needed blood sugar and helping to rehydrate you. The sainted bacon sandwich is rightly revered, its balance of salt and sugar undoubtedly reviving that which your body lacks. A medic friend often takes Dioralyte, that post-squits rehydrating tablet. Makes sense in theory, but considering she is the worst hangover sufferer I know it's difficult to put a great deal of faith in this technique.

Ultimately none of these even comes close to guaranteeing your recovery. Yet to wake to the gaping reality that very little besides time will cure alcohol's cruel retaliation is to wake to a world that is very bleak indeed. In situations as abject as a truly Pantagruelian hangover we must take solace in such placebos.

Enjoy

Bosh

My favourite hangover cure is American Cream Soda with glucose in it - works every time.

[Reck B]

I'm just going to stay in and knock one out.

+1

the only real cure for a hangover is;

1) Time

2) Dominoes Pizza

2) Masterbation

lock the doors, keep the curtains shut, rig yourself up a *****ing den & get yourself a half peperoni passion / half texas bbq. You'll be fine by Songs of Praise on Sunday.

[erranta]

My favourite hangover cure is American Cream Soda with glucose in it - works every time.

Is there a cure to stop you hanging around the main gates of the bases?

[Bossybabe]

Is there a cure to stop you hanging around the main gates of the bases?

Of course not - the other cure is s*x.

[Scunnered]

At risk of sending this part of the forum back to a time when people actually posted here, what constitutes the perfect masturbatory den?

I have a few ideas but would like to hear from other experts too.

[Reck B]

At risk of sending this part of the forum back to a time when people actually posted here, what constitutes the perfect masturbatory den?

I have a few ideas but would like to hear from other experts too.

Duvet, porn, lube, columbian marching powder, splash pad, 5v battery, ligatures, panic button.

You know, standard stuff - nothing too kinky.

[erranta]

Of course not - the other cure is s*x.

What six at a time!!

[Bosh]

No, but I bet you quite often wake up to find that you've slashed in your bed.

I actually do drink a pint or two of water after a big drink and it does help but the risk of pissing the bed or against the radiator in the hallway of my ex-girlfriends parents house is defintely a possibilty.

[swissy_fit]

At risk of sending this part of the forum back to a time when people actually posted here, what constitutes the perfect masturbatory den?

I have a few ideas but would like to hear from other experts too.

Rolf still posts occasionally on another forum you know, I feel sure he could define this in more detail than you would like.

[swissy_fit]

He's the only poster in my entire history of forum visitng that I really believe to be a c0ck.

Nonetheless, if you want an expert opinion on this........

[Number79]

my favourite hangover cure is not getting one.

best way for me to avoid one....dont eat. Food doesnt soak the booze up. It makes the liver work harder so the booze doesnt get broken down and you wake up with plenty still in your system, dehydrated and feeling poo. I dont mean going out on an empty stomach though, i mean eating before hand and not during the night.

I dont eat when drinking and try to drink water when going to bed.

[swissy_fit]

my favourite hangover cure is not getting one.

best way for me to avoid one....dont eat. Food doesnt soak the booze up. It makes the liver work harder so the booze doesnt get broken down and you wake up with plenty still in your system, dehydrated and feeling poo. I dont mean going out on an empty stomach though, i mean eating before hand and not during the night.

I dont eat when drinking and try to drink water when going to bed.

Isn't there something you can take before you go out now?

I forget what it's called

[EmmaRoid #FBPE#JC4PM#GTTO]

Got my works bash tonight and like every year I`m probably, no!!! defintely going to be hanging tomorrow morning but before I neck a few too many I wanted to take this opportunity to wish all the Guys and Gals on HPC seasons greetings and urge you all to exchange the tin foil for party hats, get off the computer for at least one night over the festive season and talk absolute ****** to some real people.

I'll drink to that next week

[Wahoo]

This is so funny and very very quick witted.

(Youngsters won't understand it though)

[Darkman]

I'm just going to stay in and knock one out.

I dont eat when drinking and try to drink water when going to bed.

Yes, I think a large amount of water is the logical hangover cure/preventative.

[Wahoo]

I have never yet had to endure a works Christmas party in 31 years. I have pulled every trick out of the hat, to avoid these awful tortures.

Is this a record?

[EmmaRoid #FBPE#JC4PM#GTTO]

I have never yet had to endure a works Christmas party in 31 years. I have pulled every trick out of the hat, to avoid these awful tortures.

Is this a record?

Don't mean to be harsh but maybe that's why yo're sat at home tonight

[Wahoo]

Don't mean to be harsh but maybe that's why yo're sat at home tonight

So where are you? In the pub?

[Darkman]

So where are you? In the pub?

It's an office xmas party in McDonalds. He's posting on their wifi

jk

[fellow]

Do what I do, it works every time.

Before going to bed force down at least 1 pint of water sometimes 2pints if you have been really hitting the booze hard.

I never wake up with a hangover now.

+1

Then have a pint of water, a strong coffee and a banana when you wake up.

[pl1]

Yes off the computer. I've got a guaranteed Internet Date but with a pretty looking young lady in her mid-twenties. I want to do it but I'm frightened.

[EmmaRoid #FBPE#JC4PM#GTTO]

So where are you? In the pub?

I've had to babysit. Uunfortunately taking toddlers to the pub is still frowned upon

[winkie]

A great party song......