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Reck B

Funny Rightmove Property Description

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(title said w.a.n.k.y)

BwahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAH!

The name's intriguing. The location is perfect. :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/new-homes/property-28629508.html

You know what you want. The best in contemporary living and design, in a vibrant landmark location with the heart of the city just a few minutes from your door. Welcome to EX1905.

It's your life. It's your lifestyle. You love your own lace (?) and space, but you're out at every opportunity* living every moment, taking everything city life has to give. You need to live in the city and for the city.

*yeh - probably due to the severe claustrophobia and depression brought on by spending £155,950 on that ******ing pathetic slavebox.

Check the bizarre 3d tetris ******** on the wall!

80612_2BedMaisonette_IMG_00_0000_max_620x414.jpg

Developers should be made to live in this shit before peddling it out.

Edited by Reck B

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It's your life. It's your lifestyle. You love your own lace and space, but you're out at every opportunity living every moment, taking everything city life has to give. You need to live in the city and for the city.

Would anyone care to translate this b0ll0cks?

Lace and space? Anyone? Bueller?

This is very bizarre.

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Would anyone care to translate this b0ll0cks?

Lace and space? Anyone? Bueller?

This is very bizarre.

I'm amazed anyone can write such crap without cringing.

Estate agents really are a different breed aren't they?

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Would anyone care to translate this b0ll0cks?

Lace and space? Anyone? Bueller?

This is very bizarre.

Translation:

You must spend every waking hour outside.
If you stay inside those 4 walls there's a very real danger of going stark, raving mad.

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(title said w.a.n.k.y)

BwahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAH!

*yeh - probably due to the severe claustrophobia and depression brought on by spending £155,950 on that ******ing pathetic slavebox.

Check the bizarre 3d tetris ******** on the wall!

80612_2BedMaisonette_IMG_00_0000_max_620x414.jpg

Developers should be made to live in this shit before peddling it out.

I'm actually quite impressed.

I didn't expect there to be a bedroom I thought the photo shown above was the only room, with the tetris image to create a sense of depth in the wall to make the room appear bigger.

I half though the two lights were bedside lights atop of two bedside cabinets cunningly painted to match the wall and skirting board to once again make the room appear bigger. With the sofa bed being kept in, so you don't realise you need to put it back to access the wardrobe on the left of the picture.

If I'd got £160k to spend on a property, I wouldn't be looking at that. I'd be more inclined to buy a 6 bed detatched up north in a family members name and live off the dole and housing benefit it would generate, perhaps even letting out a few of the other rooms to friends eligible for property owner (housing) benefit.

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"Once the site of the historic County Rugby Ground, where in 1905 Exeter thrashed the All Blacks at home, EX1905 offers an exciting choice of new two, three and four bedroom homes"

I wasn't going to buy, but now I've read this, I can't wait to purchase!!!

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(title said w.a.n.k.y)

BwahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAH!

*yeh - probably due to the severe claustrophobia and depression brought on by spending £155,950 on that ******ing pathetic slavebox.

Check the bizarre 3d tetris ******** on the wall!

80612_2BedMaisonette_IMG_00_0000_max_620x414.jpg

Developers should be made to live in this shit before peddling it out.

No twigs!!! What is wrong with them?

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(title said w.a.n.k.y)

BwahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAH!

*yeh - probably due to the severe claustrophobia and depression brought on by spending £155,950 on that ******ing pathetic slavebox.

Check the bizarre 3d tetris ******** on the wall!

80612_2BedMaisonette_IMG_00_0000_max_620x414.jpg

Developers should be made to live in this shit before peddling it out.

I've seen them sell sheds, garages and boxes on there before.

Now I see they are selling a lego playset. That's taking the p1ss.

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You need to live in the city and for the city.

Spot on. Any fule kno' that Stevie Wonder wrote 'Living for the City' about Exeter.

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here is my current favourite descripton on rightmove

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-29185178.html

:lol:

DO YOU NEED THE DOCTOR? I said "DO YOU NEED A F*CKING DOCTOR?" Do you want to be raped and sodomised less than average. Do you want your car stolen less often. If so, buy this property motherf*cker! Comes complete with gun emplacement.

*ENGLISH AVERAGE

Severe beating with baseball bats SG8 10.2 NATIONAL 15.0

Sodomy and kiddyfiddling offences SG8 0.5NATIONAL 999.9

Armed robbery SG8 0.5NATIONAL 891.0

Buggery (dildo) SG8 3.2 NATIONAL 564.3

Peeping toms SG8 1.4 NATIONAL 992.3

Fisting with menaces SG8 5.1 NATIONAL 999.2

Being glassed in the face and having a poker shoved in genitals SG8 75.6 NATIONAL 450.30

:blink:

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This estate agent seems to think he is a prophet new inspir'd ...

This superb one bed ex-local authority flat is like a light in a sea of darkness, a beacon of hope to any distressed purchaser looking for the last great deal!

Call now to view this other Eden, demi-paradise...

As well as the bonus of being next to Brick Lane you are also only a 10 minute walk to Aldgate tube which makes no where to far!

That last line didn't scan so well ...

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-37804331.html

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Would anyone care to translate this b0ll0cks?

Lace and space? Anyone? Bueller?

This is very bizarre.

"It's your life. It's your lifestyle. You love your own lace and space, but you're out at every opportunity living every moment, taking everything city life has to give. You need to live in the city and for the city."

That's estate agent BS for 'it's so small you will have to be out of it as much as you can be'.

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  • 284 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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