Not Boootifull - Very, Very Bad News Indeed.

[Wahoo]

The King of 'Christmas Turkeys' has gone. Just when we thought inflation was getting under-control.

I'm not one to panic, but I'm getting my bird now, before everyone wants one.

Boootifull

What a selfish man to do this, just before christmas

[Harry Monk]

Call me a Conspiracy Theorist but I find it highly suspicious that he died on Thanksgiving Day

[Daltski]

Fowl play?

He is due to be cremated next Wednesday at 3pm, Gas Mark 6 for 3 hours

[xux42]

He is due to be cremated next Wednesday at 3pm, Gas Mark 6 for 3 hours

It will be a funeral with all the trimmings that's for certain.

[Unexpected]

How can you lot joke at such a time when it must feel like the sky is falling to his family and friends?

[Daltski]

How can you lot joke at such a time when it must feel like the sky is falling to his family and friends?

You're right, in fact I'm going to go to his funeral to pay my respects. It should be good, I hear The Cranberries are playing!

[longtomsilver]

How can you lot joke at such a time when it must feel like the sky is falling to his family and friends?

Chicken Little ?

[Unexpected]

Chicken Little ?

Good to see someone was keeping abreast.

[Harry Monk]

Bernard Matthews started his empire in Norfolk from scratch, in the early days of trading he could count the number of turkeys he had on one hand.

Six.

[Orsino]

Now he's gone his company will soon be gobbled up.

[porca misèria]

I'm not one to panic, but I'm getting my bird now, before everyone wants one.

Processed with lots of salt and other preservatives and vacuum-packed?

[fluffy666]

He is due to be cremated next Wednesday at 3pm, Gas Mark 6 for 3 hours

Well, if his last wish is carried out, the next few batches of Turkey Twizzlers will taste a bit different.

[Democorruptcy]

The article doesn't say what knocked the stuffing out of him? What was it?

[juvenal]

Bernard Matthews started his empire in Norfolk from scratch, in the early days of trading he could count the number of turkeys he had on one hand.

Six.

[cica]

His will is substantial baste on what I've heard.

[Caveat Mortgagor]

Best before 25/11/2010.

[Jack's Creation]

The article doesn't say what knocked the stuffing out of him? What was it?

Chicken pox

[GordonBrownSpentMyFuture]

at the sad news of Bernard's death.

at the characteristic HPC deference towards such sad news.

Dutiful. Really dutiful.

[singlemalt]

Chicken pox

or bird flu

[Orsino]

or bird flu

or thrush

[singlemalt]

In fairness to Mr Matthews he was from a small crop of entrepreneur that the UK urgently needs to get us out of the guano that we're in.

[tomwatkins]

In fairness to Mr Matthews he was from a small crop of entrepreneur that the UK urgently needs to get us out of the guano that we're in.

Yea but but when he started it was easier to get a leg up. Nowadays some bigger firm would have gobbled him up early on.

[longtomsilver]

In fairness to Mr Matthews he was from a small crop of entrepreneur that the UK urgently needs to get us out of the guano that we're in.

Agreed we need more like him. No fancy tech bubbles or securitisation of sound industries.

[juvenal]

I hope the church is well-heated for the funeral. It would be regrettable if the parson's nose was cold.

[tomwatkins]

Seriously folks, being in the US for Turkey Day I missed the news on this. I just followed this thread and my American missus caught me almost on the floor laughing that much. We really are sick bast@rds us Brits. She read every one and didn't raise a titter. Gotta get back to Blighty soon, I really have. The Yanks have no sense of humour (or is it humor, I forget?)