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copydude

Got My 250 Quid Winter Fuel Allowance Today

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. . . . When A Poor Man Came In Sight

Gathering Winter Fuel Allowances

PanQueensHeadInterior.jpg

I got this 250 quid 'Winter Fuel Allowance' today in a 'Brown' envelope. (Laugh.) It's the last of the free money isn't it? Didn't even have to borrow it. Can't see the Coalition repeating this magnanimosity in 2011.

The WFA always comes as surprise, since I'm not like hangin' out for it with Raygen's disease or anything. But I'm not sending it back, because I'm worth it. Old people are wise and can hand out advice worth much more than £250.

(I always liked that quote by that Oscar Wilde: "I love good advice . . . I pass it on at the earliest opportunity'.)

Anyway, what would you do with an unexpected windfall of £250?

I have thought of the following:

1. Turn up the heating and spend the winter in T-Shirt and shorts. Then watch the lights go out all around as the grid can't cope.

2. Make a donation to those less fortunate, like the Battered Cod Wives of Iceland.

3. Invest it in a deal with Al Quaeda, so I get more refillable printer ink cartridges.

4. Buy a £250 starter at a Gordon Ramsay Restaurant of my choice and film a complaint about the tacky overpriced food.

5. Er . . . buy three new tyres for my 1995 Ford Escort.

I know the Government wants me to be straight down the Mall increasin' retail footfall patterns and all, in the national interest, but somehow I wanted to make a statement this year.

Suggestions welcome.

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1) Get rid of the car. How can you think freely owning something so boring??

2) Do nothing for a month three weeks until the effects of Escort ownership diminish

3) Sell everything & get the hell out of Britain before the final big freeze sets in (see elswhere)

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Go to a student bar and buy everybody drinks, seeing as they'll be the ones paying off the national debt your WFA came from.

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Burn it. It is, after all, supposed to be fuel.

But it would be a waste to burn it privately. The ideal would be to get a like-minded action group together and organise the press to turn up as you all burn it in a happening. Then someone can complain about the impoverished quality of this fuel, and see if you get something better next year.

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Buy some government debt/lend it back to them, the Approved group is just filling in a form anyone can join.

It costs £20 in admin and they will lump you in with a larger group worth £ millions when the purchase goes through.

https://www-uk.computershare.com/Investor/Gilts/Default.asp

IMPORTANT NOTES

(i) If you are not a Member of the UK Debt Management Offce’s Approved Group please visit www.computershare.com for an Approved Group application pack.

(ii) Please ensure that you read the Terms and Conditions of the Purchase and Sale Service before completing Sections 1 to 8 as appropriate. Sign in Section 8.

(iii) For investments of £25,000 or less, the cheque must be for the amount you wish to invest. You must pay by a sterling cheque drawn on an account in your name with a UK bank or

building society. If the cheque is from a building society please see Section 7 (i) of the Terms and Conditions of Service. Cheques must be made payable to Computershare Investor

Services PLC and crossed “A/C Payee”.

(iv) For investments of more than £25,000, payment may be made electronically or by cheque. Electronic payment should be made to Computershare’s bank account – see Section 7

(ii) of the Terms and Conditions of Service for details of how this payment should be effected. Investments of more than £25,000, supported by a cheque will be conducted 5 business

days after receipt of the cheque and form providing cleared funds have been received by Computershare - see Section 7 (iii) and 8 (iii) of the Terms and Conditions.

(v) Please return this form with the appropriate cheque or confrmation as to when electronic payment will be received to Computershare Investor Services PLC, P.O. Box 2411,

The Pavilions, Bridgwater Road, Bristol BS99 6WX.

(vi) Further copies of this form can be downloaded from www.computershare.com, as can the list of Stocks that are available for purchase through this service.

(vii) Stock certifcates resulting from this purchase will be sent, at their own risk, to the frst named holder by 1st class post. If you wish your certifcate to be sent by Royal Mail Special

Delivery (or equivalent), this should be requested in writing when submitting this form, together with a cheque for £20 for the administration fee.

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Buy £250 of winter fuel.

Actually, according to British Gas it's more expensive than summer fuel, so unfortunately you won't get so much. - Maybe keep hold of your £250 and buy fuel next summer for the winter.

I dunno, get some ho's or something.

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Go to a student bar and buy everybody drinks, seeing as they'll be the ones paying off the national debt your WFA came from.

Thanks. That's exactly the kind of idea I was looking for.

But . . . maybe pointedly not buying them a half of scrumpy, while spilling trebles all over them, would help to radicalise and embitter the very people we need to protest?

Good thought.

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Buy £250 of winter fuel.

Actually, according to British Gas it's more expensive than summer fuel, so unfortunately you won't get so much. - Maybe keep hold of your £250 and buy fuel next summer for the winter.

I dunno, get some ho's or something.

That line sums up why I read and post on HPC , funny as feck :lol:

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Buy £250 of winter fuel?

. . . . I dunno, get some ho's or something.

You are clearly out of the loop.

Ho's provide only time-limited warmth and are therefore not cost-effective over the whole winter, in relation to say, a wood burner.

However, I had considered hiring a kiss'n'tell ho. You can make make money out of such stories.

I'm still fascinated by those two girls from 'Katies Lovelies' who strung up the banker on Dartford Common. Quite amazing how the truth of that story has never been told.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1303018/Sacked-City-banker-paid-escorts-taunt-hanged-himself.html

250 quid, stuffed down someone's tank top, can often get people to talk.

Thanks for the thought.

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Go to a student bar and buy everybody drinks, seeing as they'll be the ones paying off the national debt your WFA came from.

But insist that they dance like happy prospectors first.

This sort of thing:

102483-Royalty-Free-RF-Clipart-Illustration-Of-A-Happy-Prospector-Man-Dancing.jpg

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Two hundred and fifty quid!

Seriously, what are these coffin dodgers on the news moaning about when gas prices go up.

I wish I got a xmas bonus like that, I fully expect to see some old biddys kitted out with some new bling or stuffing their faces in a restaurant.

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take up guitar... 250 gets you a lovely acoustic these days

i'd recommend a LAG - an 'Autumn' or 'Winter' model. both about right for that budget. all solid wood, with inlays, sounds like a 1000 quid guitar

bargain!

lag-autumn-gla300d-dreadnought-guitar.jpg

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  • 145 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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