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Kyoto

How To Save The Economy Without Really Trying: A Guide For Gideon Osborne

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This week 23-year-old chancellor Osborne Osborne will rise on his hooves in the House of Commons and unleash the most brutal series of cuts since the shower scene in Psycho. So what will actually happen? Gloomy predictions abound, but almost everyone agrees the results will be as palatable as a wax-and-cat-hair sandwich. It's frightening stuff. In fact, the preliminary coverage is filled with so much sadomasochistic language – "pain", "agony", "eye-watering measures", "tightening of the belt", and so on – that it sounds as if we really ought to establish a "safe word" now, before Prince Osborne pulls his leather mask on and sets about his business.
The problem: making kids clever is way too expensive. But failing to educate them at all will eventually lead to the entire nation resembling a giant chimps' tea party.Which it absolutely doesn't at the moment.

The solution: sell bespoke classroom time-slots to corporations. Your child's new timetable: 9am Geography. 10am French. 11.30am Yakult Studies. 12pm Lunchtime sponsored by Cheestrings. 1pm The Story of Rolos. 2pm Just Do It! (formerly PE). 3pm English Literature. 3.05pm GlaxoSmithKline Sing-a-Long Zone. 4pm Hometime (sponsored by Renault).

:lol:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/oct/18/charlie-brooker-nationwide-jumble-sale

Edited by Kyoto

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Didn't this guy used to be funny? Guess married life has killed off his sense of humour.

Common or garden Rentier socialist hypocrite. Married to "Rachman Huq" Probably has a few properties of his own. ( funny as f*ck on occasion, though. "Lunchtime sponsored by Cheesestrings" made me laugh)

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He also mentions that housing needs to be subsidised in order to be affordable.

I was going to add a comment to set him straight, but there were already 86 comments, so couldn't be bothered.

In all other respects, though, Brooker is a minor deity.

Edited by WageslaveX14

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He also mentions that housing needs to be subsidised in order to be affordable.

I was going to add a comment to set him straight, but there were already 86 comments, so couldn't be bothered.

In all other respects, though, Brooker is a minor deity.

in all seriousness shouldnt we be going back to sandwich courses and industry/commerce funding students thro

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But failing to educate them at all will eventually lead to the entire nation resembling a giant chimps' tea party.Which it absolutely doesn't at the moment.

It doesnt?

Thats not what i see when i venture into the town centre, turn on the tv, go to asda, go out of a friday night etc etc.

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But failing to educate them at all will eventually lead to the entire nation resembling a giant chimps' tea party.Which it absolutely doesn't at the moment.

It doesnt?

Thats not what i see when i venture into the town centre, turn on the tv, go to asda, go out of a friday night etc etc.

Sarcasm bypass... oh yes, it would appear so!

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But failing to educate them at all will eventually lead to the entire nation resembling a giant chimps' tea party.Which it absolutely doesn't at the moment.

It doesnt?

Thats not what i see when i venture into the town centre, turn on the tv, go to asda, go out of a friday night etc etc.

Either you live very close to me or the whole country is infected with this Chav-Pandemic.In Asda the staff look like extras from a chimps tea party and the customers look like extras from 50000BC.I almost expect to turn into the next aisle and see clubs with a nail through BOGOF.

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Either you live very close to me or the whole country is infected with this Chav-Pandemic.In Asda the staff look like extras from a chimps tea party and the customers look like extras from 50000BC.

I almost expect to turn into the next aisle and see clubs with a nail through BOGOF.

Too late - others would have beaten you to it!

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Sarcasm bypass... oh yes, it would appear so!

Its a guardian article...not private eye or the daily mash.

About 9/10 articles i read in the guardian i assume are satire. Then i remind myself its the guardian.

These people are deadly serious.

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I remember Arbury being a right chavalanche...

Its orchard park now. Where the beautiful people go to shoot ideas at each other over a dinner party.

Chavs have been moved out and exiled to Cambourne, and a Morrisons provided for their leisure.

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I've been to Asda's both north and south of the UK through necessity and it is invariably like swimming through sh1t.

There's already a site that catalogs some of the more colorful inhabitants of the parent company over the pond.

people of walmart

Here's just one of many

2009.jpg

Edited by Jack's Creation

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Its a guardian article...not private eye or the daily mash.

About 9/10 articles i read in the guardian i assume are satire. Then i remind myself its the guardian.

These people are deadly serious.

It's Charlie Brooker. He has never knowingly been serious!

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Theres an ASDA in Cambridge. There are no chavs in Cambridge. It is forbidden.

I went into Sainsbury's on the ring road near the airport.Posh Hippies.An improvement on Chavs though,they had a nice line in that rope hair that Swampy used to wear.

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  • 150 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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