muggle Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Kirstie Allsopp: My battleplan for house buyers and sellers Television’s property expert Kirstie Allsopp explains what works – and what doesn’t – when it’s time to move house. Don’t dawdle If you like the first place you see, buy it. It’s like dating; if you meet a man you like, you don’t say you’ll have a good look around first. You get his number. And insist on exclusivity. If the vendors accept your offer, ask them to remove it from the market immediately, and check they have done so. If you have any doubts, get a friend to ring up the estate agent and ask if they have anything on the market at around the price you’ve agreed... Grow up about estate agents I just wish people would get over themselves when it comes to dealing with estate agents. They are not devils incarnate, they’re people who are selling something that you want and that’s currently in short supply... ( ) Do the weeding out When you see a place you like, ring the estate agent (ask for them by name). Ask these questions: What do you see when you look out of the front of the property? Out of the back? Is the house in the middle of the street, or at the end? What’s the parking like? Any red routes nearby? Are there yellow lines? Of course, no estate agent is going to say the place is unsuitable, just as no clothes shop assistant is going to tell you your bottom looks big in that new dress. Politely ask these questions and you can avoid annoying everyone at work by constantly rushing off at 5pm to view unsuitable properties. If the agent continues to show you rubbish places, don’t blame him. But ask why that is happening. Chances are, you may be offering too little money for that area. Telegraph Well, it made me laugh anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juvenal Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) Telegraph Well, it made me laugh anyway KA: 'What do you see when you look out front of the property?' Agent (wearily): 'Our saleboard, madam. Ever heard of Google ******* Streetview?' Edited October 15, 2010 by juvenal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric pebble Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Telegraph Well, it made me laugh anyway Stupid, THICK, fat cow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19 year mortgage 8itch Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Scooters. I was expecting more judicious use of bowed in the middle scooters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan B'Stard MP Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 What on earth is wrong with that woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffneck Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 comparing a one night stand with some bloke to buying a 250,000 slave box that youll be paying off for 20 years the woman is stark raving bonkers is she still advising the tories on housing policy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juvenal Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 comparing a one night stand with some bloke to buying a 250,000 slave box that youll be paying off for 20 years the woman is stark raving bonkers is she still advising the tories on housing policy? No, mercifully Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecrashingisles Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 I just wish people would get over themselves when it comes to dealing with estate agents. They are not devils incarnate, they’re people who are selling something that you want and that’s currently in short supply. Plus, however young they are, they have probably seen a lot more properties than you have. For heaven’s sake, if you’re trying to buy something that is hard to get hold of, like a Hermès or Louis Vuitton handbag, the last thing you do is walk into the shop and start being rude to the assistant. Why do I get a vision of the Harry Enfield 'I saw you coming' sketch? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecrashingisles Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 In return, hand each of them your card with your name, address and email. Make sure it has a clear breakdown of your property requirements and your budget. Be sure to include your solicitor’s address and telephone number. You have no idea of the number of buyers who don’t get around to finding a solicitor until they have had an offer accepted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Home_To_Roost Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) She will start rattling on about "mortgage affordability" and the need for a "stamp duty holiday" Edited October 15, 2010 by Home_To_Roost Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misanthrope Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 What on earth is wrong with that woman. Everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Bear Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 What on earth is wrong with that woman. Probably not a lot. She may talk crap but presumably she gets paid to talk crap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bomberbrown Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) Edited October 15, 2010 by bomberbrown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Austin Allegro Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Doesn't this woman realise it's not 2007 any more? She's like one of those Japanese soldiers who hid in the jungle refusing to believe the war was over... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pole Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) ??? Edited October 15, 2010 by Pole Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
council dweller Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 She's right though. She doesn't need to be told that her bottom looks big. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilchardthecat Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 She's right though. She doesn't need to be told that her bottom looks big. That's true, since it's the size of a small moon and has it's own gravitational pull, she would have become naturally aware of it's massiveness as she realised that household items had started to orbit her.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saving For a Space Ship Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Stupid, THICK, fat cow. Dear Eric, there is no need to get personal. Yours SIncerely Saving for a space ship (BA Hons. in Krusty-Bashing from Hpc University) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richc Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Stupid, THICK, fat cow. I find that I can't help but think "fat cow" whenever I hear this woman's name. I know it's sexist, it's insensitive, it's not pretty -- but I just can't help thinking it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Sando Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 come on, the kirsty bashing is a little long in the tooth now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riedquat Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 come on, the kirsty bashing is a little long in the tooth now. Would've been if she'd not said anything new, but when she comes up with this sort of nonsense... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAnotherProle Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 come on, the kirsty bashing is a little long in the tooth now. You may be right but it is amusing to laugh and point when the one trick pony that is Kirsty opens her mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singlemalt Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) '...Any red routes nearby?' I'm guessing that this is a very London centric article. For the most part the only red routes outside of the capital are those walked by prostitutes in the local red light district. Not that I'd know Edited October 15, 2010 by singlemalt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lets get it right Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 What on earth is wrong with that woman. She hasn't had a slug of the adrenalin of publicity lately ... so she pens some vacuous article and, I wouldn't mind betting, some mate, friend, friend of a friend or family member at the Telegraph pays her a wad of money for the right to publish a load of nonsense. I'd rather that ran white space than that nonsense. It would save them some ink and the money paid to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAnotherProle Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) She hasn't had a slug of the adrenalin of publicity lately ... so she pens some vacuous article and, I wouldn't mind betting, some mate, friend, friend of a friend or family member at the Telegraph pays her a wad of money for the right to publish a load of nonsense. I'd rather that ran white space than that nonsense. It would save them some ink and the money paid to her. You probably are not far wrong here, although Kirsty doesn't need the money as daddy is very very rich, this would explain the complete detachment from reality as evidenced by her rambling nonsense, this type of vacuous verbal psychedelia is indicative of the over privileged but stupid, the type that really has no outlet other than property speculation or some minor media position and is an example of the type of idiot that the vast majority of the population simply pities , as in this case, or just ignores if we can, but for some unknown reason the media "luvvies", who also orbit in the same circles, seem to think we want to see them broadcast into our living rooms lecturing us on how to live our lives...a collective term I use for them is cultural parasites. Edited October 15, 2010 by JustAnotherProle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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