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Kirstie Allsopp: My battleplan for house buyers and sellers

Television’s property expert Kirstie Allsopp explains what works – and what doesn’t – when it’s time to move house.

Don’t dawdle

If you like the first place you see, buy it. It’s like dating; if you meet a man you like, you don’t say you’ll have a good look around first. You get his number. And insist on exclusivity. If the vendors accept your offer, ask them to remove it from the market immediately, and check they have done so. If you have any doubts, get a friend to ring up the estate agent and ask if they have anything on the market at around the price you’ve agreed...

Grow up about estate agents

I just wish people would get over themselves when it comes to dealing with estate agents. They are not devils incarnate, they’re people who are selling something that you want and that’s currently in short supply... ( :lol: )

Do the weeding out

When you see a place you like, ring the estate agent (ask for them by name). Ask these questions: What do you see when you look out of the front of the property? Out of the back? Is the house in the middle of the street, or at the end? What’s the parking like? Any red routes nearby? Are there yellow lines?

Of course, no estate agent is going to say the place is unsuitable, just as no clothes shop assistant is going to tell you your bottom looks big in that new dress. Politely ask these questions and you can avoid annoying everyone at work by constantly rushing off at 5pm to view unsuitable properties.

If the agent continues to show you rubbish places, don’t blame him. But ask why that is happening. Chances are, you may be offering too little money for that area. :blink:

Telegraph

Well, it made me laugh anyway :lol:

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Telegraph

Well, it made me laugh anyway :lol:

KA: 'What do you see when you look out front of the property?'

Agent (wearily): 'Our saleboard, madam. Ever heard of Google ******* Streetview?'

Edited by juvenal

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comparing a one night stand with some bloke to buying a 250,000 slave box that youll be paying off for 20 years

the woman is stark raving bonkers

is she still advising the tories on housing policy?

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comparing a one night stand with some bloke to buying a 250,000 slave box that youll be paying off for 20 years

the woman is stark raving bonkers

is she still advising the tories on housing policy?

No, mercifully

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I just wish people would get over themselves when it comes to dealing with estate agents. They are not devils incarnate, they’re people who are selling something that you want and that’s currently in short supply. Plus, however young they are, they have probably seen a lot more properties than you have. For heaven’s sake, if you’re trying to buy something that is hard to get hold of, like a Hermès or Louis Vuitton handbag, the last thing you do is walk into the shop and start being rude to the assistant.

Why do I get a vision of the Harry Enfield 'I saw you coming' sketch?

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In return, hand each of them your card with your name, address and email. Make sure it has a clear breakdown of your property requirements and your budget. Be sure to include your solicitor’s address and telephone number. You have no idea of the number of buyers who don’t get around to finding a solicitor until they have had an offer accepted.

tfw765benbc5ukc43e8aafn.gif

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She's right though.

She doesn't need to be told that her bottom looks big.

That's true, since it's the size of a small moon and has it's own gravitational pull, she would have become naturally aware of it's massiveness as she realised that household items had started to orbit her....

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Stupid, THICK, fat cow. :rolleyes:

I find that I can't help but think "fat cow" whenever I hear this woman's name. I know it's sexist, it's insensitive, it's not pretty -- but I just can't help thinking it.

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'...Any red routes nearby?'

I'm guessing that this is a very London centric article.

For the most part the only red routes outside of the capital are those walked by prostitutes in the local red light district.

Not that I'd know :ph34r:

Edited by singlemalt

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What on earth is wrong with that woman.

She hasn't had a slug of the adrenalin of publicity lately ... so she pens some vacuous article and, I wouldn't mind betting, some mate, friend, friend of a friend or family member at the Telegraph pays her a wad of money for the right to publish a load of nonsense.

I'd rather that ran white space than that nonsense. It would save them some ink and the money paid to her.

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She hasn't had a slug of the adrenalin of publicity lately ... so she pens some vacuous article and, I wouldn't mind betting, some mate, friend, friend of a friend or family member at the Telegraph pays her a wad of money for the right to publish a load of nonsense.

I'd rather that ran white space than that nonsense. It would save them some ink and the money paid to her.

You probably are not far wrong here, although Kirsty doesn't need the money as daddy is very very rich, this would explain the complete detachment from reality as evidenced by her rambling nonsense, this type of vacuous verbal psychedelia is indicative of the over privileged but stupid, the type that really has no outlet other than property speculation or some minor media position and is an example of the type of idiot that the vast majority of the population simply pities , as in this case, or just ignores if we can, but for some unknown reason the media "luvvies", who also orbit in the same circles, seem to think we want to see them broadcast into our living rooms lecturing us on how to live our lives...a collective term I use for them is cultural parasites.

Edited by JustAnotherProle

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  • 259 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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