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Guest Charlie The Tramp

Your Doctor

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Guest Charlie The Tramp

Received a questionnaire from my GP today with the pretence of updating their computer records.

The very dodgy questions.

Do you smoke? How many a day? last box states over 30

Do you drink? How many units per week? last box states 21 units plus.

Do you take regular exercise/ sport? How regular? What does it involve?

Oh well will have to rely on syrup of figs in the future. :(

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Guest The_Oldie
Received a questionnaire from my GP today with the pretence of updating their computer records.

The very dodgy questions.

Do you smoke? How many a day?  last box states over 30

Do you drink? How many units per week? last box states 21 units plus.

Do you take regular exercise/ sport? How regular? What does it involve?

Oh well will have to rely on syrup of figs in the future.  :(

Just ignore it. Large modern NHS mega practices are far too inefficient to notice ;) and even if they do, they'll only send a chase letter; if you ignore that, they won't have the system in place to take it any further. I have a number of GP friends who have told me stories that would make your toes curl.

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Guest rigsby II

Every time I go to the doctor he has an unhealthy interest in my prostate.

Rubber gloves, bend over and MOONRIVER...

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Guest muttley
Every time I go to the doctor he has an unhealthy interest in my prostate.

Rubber gloves, bend over and MOONRIVER...

Rigsby,a word of advice..

When you first feel the doctor's finger go in,check he hasn't got a hand on each of your shoulders.

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Guest The_Oldie
Care to elaborate...?  :huh:

Mostly about bureaucracy and practice management inefficiency caused by the need to meet the ever increasing government targets.

"Toes curl" was probably the wrong metaphor to use :D.

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Guest muttley
Received a questionnaire from my GP today with the pretence of updating their computer records.

The very dodgy questions.

Do you smoke? How many a day?  last box states over 30

Do you drink? How many units per week? last box states 21 units plus.

Do you take regular exercise/ sport? How regular? What does it involve?

Oh well will have to rely on syrup of figs in the future.  :(

Charlie,tell them you don't smoke,don't drink and go 3 times a week to the gym.The surgery will not question it.Furthermore,they can cite the figures to the government to show they are increasing their "healthcare performance".

Gone are the days when you were not considered to be overindulging,providing you smoked and drank less than your GP.

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Won’t work, Muttley

The doctor will read it, go and visit him and say “What’s with all this lying Charlie?”

Then ask him. “Who’s the Queen of England.

He will reply “Queen Victoria of course. Sod I’ve left my pipe down the pub.”

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Guest Charlie The Tramp
Won’t work, Muttley

The doctor will read it, go and visit him and say “What’s with all this lying Charlie?”

Then ask him.  “Who’s the Queen of England.

He will reply “Queen Victoria of course.  Sod I’ve left my pipe down the pub.”

I remember a while back a GP asking patients if they smoked, and got them to blow into a contraption. If the results were positive he told them if they did not make the effort as from now to give up, he would remove them from his list.

The form received is very dark and suspicious and the only question you could refuse to answer was your ethnic background.

Well, when I next take my little mate to the vets I will enquire if I can go on their books. Miracle workers are they, what does a GP do other than prescribe medicines which are completely useless.

Many years ago I kept parrot like birds and was infected in the aviary with serious problems. Went to the vet and he gave me the last bottle of a veterinary medicine called I believe sulphurmethazine 16% solution for fowl cholera which had just been banned.

Gave it to them and within 24 hours all back on their perches singing and tweeting away.

A few years later I had some bad stomach trouble, taking the medication from the GP with no effect. While looking through the medicine cabinet for another cure I found the old bird medicine. Took a chance mixed up the correct amount and within a hour was back up on my perch tweeting away.

When I told the GP he went absolutely mad and suggested I was irresponsible and could have killed myself. Well said I it cured the birds so why not me, and I`m still here to prove it.

My life`s medical record is the thickness of the local church magazine.

Sadly I have known many people going to their grave before their mid fifties, all non smokers, healthy eaters, light social drinkers, and taking adequate exercise.

When I was a child our GP sat in a dingey surgery out of Dicken`s time lit by a hanging 60 watt bulb puffing away at his desk on a senior service cigarette. What gave us great faith in him was the polished brass plaque on the outside wall which said

Dr B Lang MD blah blah blah

Physician and Surgeon

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Charlie your last post reminded me of two incidents witnessed by my wife as she worked in two of her many different jobs.

One when she worked as a doctor’s receptionist.

The doctor used to smoke and when he had a patient whom he had to recommend giving up, there was always the obvious objection by the patient by saying “Well you smoke”

He would answer “Look, if I give it up, would you?”

There would be erming and arring.

Then he would dramatically throw his packet of cigarettes out of the window and say “There”

When the patient had gone, he would buzz my wife and say

“Cathy, go down and get my fags.”

She also worked as a receptionist for the PDSA.

I don’t know if you remember there used to be an electronic talking parrot that used to record your voice and repeat it.

One day a bloke came in and took it into the vet.

The vet said “Ah a parrot”

Then this thing repeated “Ah a parrot”

Of course the joker got turfed out.

foxy

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Guest growl

I had a letter the other day asking me to make a NHS appointment with my dentist. It reminded me that NHS dentists are hard to come by in my area. It is true. In fact the only reason why I have got my(brilliant) NHS dentist is because I get her to do private treatment, and my first appointment was private.

But even though I am seeing her at the end of the month(private treatment), I will still ring up in case the receptionist bins my files.

Its getting bad though when doctors are behaving like this. Many people don't get their eyes checked. Many illnesses don't get caught early from the opticians and the dentist who can spot other stuff.

After waiting for months to have an operation to prevent a life threatening illness my doctor sent me to casualty twice.

I don't beleive in the health service anymore. I now have Bupa and if it needs doing I pay for it. Some people have accused me of being a capitalist snob in the past for doing this. What they don't realise is, that it is fear and disgust at being treated as if I live in third world country that has lead me to it.

It makes me wonder where all our taxes go? :angry:

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Guest Charlie The Tramp
But even though I am seeing her at the end of the month(private treatment), I will still ring up in case the receptionist bins my files.

Even my private dentist`s prices are now sky high more to do with all the new regs and compliances.

Check up

Hygienist x2 sessions

One extraction

One temporary filling

Two complicated fillings

Seven X Rays

Five injections

Six appointments

£460 and that`s not Harley St prices. :o

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Even my private dentist`s prices are now sky high more to do with all the new regs and compliances.

Check up

Hygienist x2 sessions

One extraction

One temporary filling

Two complicated fillings

Seven X Rays

Five injections

Six appointments

£460 and that`s not Harley St prices.  :o

You're right. The reason why dentistry is so expensive it because the overheads are so high. Staff, materials, premises, equipment, maintenance, servicing of the equipment (obligatory), disposables (for cross-infection control), continuing professional development courses, lab bills (see the price of gold). I could go on and on. The days when most dentists earned mega bucks are over. Even in private practice the profit margin is no way near as high as people think.

PS: as regards NHS dentistry: when your registration runs out - ie. you're taken 'off the list', it is not the dentist that does this but the government body which pays dentists. The reason they do it is because this body pays the dentist a small amount to have you on their books and under their care. If you do not attend for a check-up within the 15 month time limit, the body erases your name (and the payment to the dentist).

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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