40% Of Domestic Abuse Victims Are Men

[AteMoose]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-11196907

[porca misèria]

No charities out there to help men. So instead, we get to pay nice juicy taxes to help everyone else.

[AThirdWay]

Poor beggar.

I wonder how many family men are in a similar position? Leaving the abuser probably means huge bills for support of any children, plus the abuser if the attacks can't be proven.

[ccc]

It is socially acceptable for a woman to abuse a man both physically, verbally and mentally.

[izzy]

It is socially acceptable for a woman to abuse a man both physically, verbally and mentally.

Is it?

I watched the link. All I can say is I hope she was convicted and sent to prison. Nobody should have to suffer such abuse.

[ccc]

Is it?

I watched the link. All I can say is I hope she was convicted and sent to prison. Nobody should have to suffer such abuse.

I cannot watch the link. I was just talking about life in general.

Go into any town centre on a Saturday night and watch women treating men and vice versa. The 'line' at which others get involved is far far far higher for men than it is for women.

A woman can slap a man in the middle of a street, shout abuse at him and walk away. Very unlikely anyone would get involved or even be bothered. Many would probably find it amusing.

The same with the roles reversed ? Would result in mayhem and most probably the Police being involved.

[Pole]

A woman can slap a man in the middle of a street, shout abuse at him and walk away. Very unlikely anyone would get involved or even be bothered. Many would probably find it amusing.

+1

[ccc]

+1

Very interesting. Backs up most of what I, and most other blokes, have thought for years.

Interesting that it is also men who ignore it as well. Although it is the women who seem to just assume he deserved it. Must have cheated. You go girl.

No wonder so many of us blokes are wary of birds. Most of them are mentalists !! Good to see a few good uns at the end though.

Even the male cop just ignores it but would have jumped in if it were the other way around. Police eh.

[gilf]

Not that I'm disagreeing with the concept that it is, if not socially acceptable, not seen as a major problem. But the thing is that to some extent the lines have been blurred by the concept that men and women are equal.

Intellectually, with regards to opportunity and so forth we certainly should be, but physically we are not and not even slightly. Most men could knock out a women with one punch, we are more than capable of defending ourselves and therefore in such a situation it is the man himself that is accepting the violent behaviour (I'm talking about the sort of thing in the video and not systematic abuse).

I for example could physically stop my wife from leaving the room, she would have no chance of stopping me, and I think that is the central difference in perception. Men and women both know these limits, that's why women can dish out the odd slap but men can't.

I'm not dismissing the problem, or going against what the initial link is saying. Just challenging the notion that men and women are "equal" in every way and therefore by definition that women being violent to men is exactly equal to men being violent to women.

Of course violence towards anybody let alone your partner is unacceptable.

[Orsino]

I'm glad to see the BBC addressing this under-reported issue. About bloody time. I remember an article they had some three years ago in which they said that the 'overwhelming majority' of domestic abuse victims were women based on a report from a women's charity. Later in the article the BBC said the report showed that 70% of domestic violence victims were women. 'Overwhelming majority'? I was very unimpressed that 30% of victims identified by the report (ie Men) could be dismissed as so insignificant.

[gilf]

I'm glad to see the BBC addressing this under-reported issue. About bloody time. I remember an article they had some three years ago in which they said that the 'overwhelming majority' of domestic abuse victims were women based on a report from a women's charity. Later in the article the BBC said the report showed that 70% of domestic violence victims were women. 'Overwhelming majority'? I was very unimpressed that 30% of victims identified by the report (ie Men) could be dismissed as so insignificant.

It's one of those statistics which for me means very little. Define domestic violent, for most people hitting a women is, but a slap on the face to a man from a women isn't. We see it all the time on TV and in films, men getting a slap across the face and then him stopping her.

If I were to hit my wife she has always said she would be straight out the door, if she hit me it would be water off a ducks back to me and I wouldn't give it a second thought. She wouldn't do it and I wouldn't do it to her, but neither of us are the sort of person to use violence to solve a problem.

[Guest eight]

I'm glad to see the BBC addressing this under-reported issue. About bloody time. I remember an article they had some three years ago in which they said that the 'overwhelming majority' of domestic abuse victims were women based on a report from a women's charity. Later in the article the BBC said the report showed that 70% of domestic violence victims were women. 'Overwhelming majority'? I was very unimpressed that 30% of victims identified by the report (ie Men) could be dismissed as so insignificant.

I'm just amazed that this thread hasn't yet been visited by a sanctimonious old bint reminding everybody that the quality of today's domestic violence isn't a patch on what you got in her youth.

eight

[GBdamo]

I'm just amazed that this thread hasn't yet been visited by a sanctimonious old bint reminding everybody that the quality of today's domestic violence isn't a patch on what you got in her youth.

eight

Now now, there's no need for that, she's an ex professional donchaknow

Plus it doesn't uphold her misandric agenda.

[pete.hpc]

You can watch any sitcom, drama, even kids programme, and see a woman kick a man in the balls or slap him to the acceptance of everyone around. It's accepted, even slightly slapstick, to see a woman kick a guy in the privates.

[Sledgehead]

Not that I'm disagreeing with the concept that it is, if not socially acceptable, not seen as a major problem. But the thing is that to some extent the lines have been blurred by the concept that men and women are equal.

Intellectually, with regards to opportunity and so forth we certainly should be, but physically we are not and not even slightly. Most men could knock out a women with one punch, we are more than capable of defending ourselves and therefore in such a situation it is the man himself that is accepting the violent behaviour (I'm talking about the sort of thing in the video and not systematic abuse).

I for example could physically stop my wife from leaving the room, she would have no chance of stopping me, and I think that is the central difference in perception. Men and women both know these limits, that's why women can dish out the odd slap but men can't.

I'm not dismissing the problem, or going against what the initial link is saying. Just challenging the notion that men and women are "equal" in every way and therefore by definition that women being violent to men is exactly equal to men being violent to women.

Of course violence towards anybody let alone your partner is unacceptable.

I think you summed things up about right wrt the way I feel on this issue.

I have personal experience of this. I went out with a girl for maybe 6 months who had issues. Some of the time she expressed them physically. We're talking full on pummelling attempts at my head. She was always out of control during these incidents.

For my part I never considered her a threat, though thankfully sharp items were never present when things kicked off, cos if they had been I'm sure she'd have had a go. Having said that I can handle myself so although there was violence there was never intimidation, in fact, she acted more like she felt threatened, like an injured thing lashing out. I could laways have left the room, restrained her if I did not mind causing her bruising. I could never have decked her, cos as the strapping copper in the film says:

"if you are raised the way I was raised you don't put your hands on a woman"

Maybe men need to be weened off this idea that sprang out of Lara Croft etc: women can't "kick ass". Not if you don't want them to. Not if you aren't a total dweeb. There's no need to feel threatened by them. You really can take a punch in the face from a woman with zero ill effects, but if you don't wish to make such a statement, just deflect it.

Of course, you could be stabbed in your sleep or poisoned, but I don't think we're talking about that kind of thing.

As to the relationship, it went the way of all the peaceful ones, which I regret, because I don't think I ever got to the bottom of her issues, and I view that as a personal failure.

[okaycuckoo]

+1

Nah, I don't buy that. Women are so feeble that I'd assume what she's doing is the near side of foreplay. Beyond that I'd assume he can look after himself if it gets too much. Would not make that assumption with a woman being roughed up by a man.

[northwestsmith2]

Nah, I don't buy that. Women are so feeble that I'd assume what she's doing is the near side of foreplay. Beyond that I'd assume he can look after himself if it gets too much. Would not make that assumption with a woman being roughed up by a man.

I agree, that report says the women who are abusive don't do hand to hand fights in public. They stab the victim with a knife , use cigarette burns or irons, hit men around the head or dump boiling water on their legs. Most it's mental abuse which probably results in suicide for the man and she gets away with it.

[Rain'ard]

No charities out there to help men. So instead, we get to pay nice juicy taxes to help everyone else.

I think in general women should be protected from male abusers, and so should men. Violence is violence and taxation is taxation. I also think that these studies should be fully understood as nobody knows fully how the data is collected. This could involve men being abused by their carers by being in a vulnerable postion or opportunistic frustation. But the man shown was in a dire situation

[Guest Absolutely Fabulous]

Now now, there's no need for that, she's an ex professional donchaknow

Plus it doesn't uphold her misandric agenda.

Amazing that you can use words with more than two syllables but conveniently omit to mention the fact that I was into researching this... most likely before you were out of nappies!

In seeking to convince others with your insidious lies about MY supposed agenda, you hope to obscure your rather nasty tendencies.

Shame that you and eight have such a 'history'. I guess nothing will ever assuage that rage you feel towards people like me: Don't know if it is my age, my gender or the fact that I am too smart for you to bear - you like your women thick I reckon, which is probably why you get a rough deal with them.

[Guest Absolutely Fabulous]

I'm just amazed that this thread hasn't yet been visited by a sanctimonious old bint reminding everybody that the quality of today's domestic violence isn't a patch on what you got in her youth.

eight

Gee I'd rather be a sanctimonious old bint than a resentful mard *rse who carps on about people who aren't even around at the time. And there was I thinking that bitching behind someone's back was more of a feminine trait.

Bit of a big girl's blouse are we?

[Guest eight]

Gee I'd rather be a santimonious old bint than a resentful mard-*rse who carps on about people who aren't even around at the time. And there was I thinking that bitching behind someone's back was more of a feminine trait.

Bit of a big girl's blouse are we?

How can you be so sure that I was referring to you?

eight

[Guest Absolutely Fabulous]

How can you be so sure that I was referring to you?

eight

GDamo's reply?

[Sledgehead]

GDamo's reply?

I expect you find it excruciatingly annoying / amusing how men - yes, we supposedly straightforward, simple sorts, leave bitchy allusions all over a forum, clearly directed at certain individuals, only to then retreat from such comments the minute the intended target shows up and confronts us.

For your information, I don't call such people men. "Shirt buttons" is one term I use. You probably have others.

If anyone is unclear whether I'd apply this term to them, feel free to ask me. You'll find me pretty straightforward.

[right_freds_dead]

I think you summed things up about right wrt the way I feel on this issue.

I have personal experience of this. I went out with a girl for maybe 6 months who had issues. Some of the time she expressed them physically. We're talking full on pummelling attempts at my head. She was always out of control during these incidents.

For my part I never considered her a threat, though thankfully sharp items were never present when things kicked off, cos if they had been I'm sure she'd have had a go. Having said that I can handle myself so although there was violence there was never intimidation, in fact, she acted more like she felt threatened, like an injured thing lashing out. I could laways have left the room, restrained her if I did not mind causing her bruising. I could never have decked her, cos as the strapping copper in the film says:

"if you are raised the way I was raised you don't put your hands on a woman"

Maybe men need to be weened off this idea that sprang out of Lara Croft etc: women can't "kick ass". Not if you don't want them to. Not if you aren't a total dweeb. There's no need to feel threatened by them. You really can take a punch in the face from a woman with zero ill effects, but if you don't wish to make such a statement, just deflect it.

Of course, you could be stabbed in your sleep or poisoned, but I don't think we're talking about that kind of thing.

As to the relationship, it went the way of all the peaceful ones, which I regret, because I don't think I ever got to the bottom of her issues, and I view that as a personal failure.

wow. sounds like you took quite a few fistings in that relationship

[Sledgehead]

wow. sounds like you took quite a few fistings in that relationship

If you have something to say, just say it. I've had enough of people using "code" just so they can claim they never said what was clearly intended.