How Debt Can Destroy A Budding Relationship

[Kyoto]

$170,000 for a photography degree. Jesus wept!

Http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/04/your-money/04money.html?_r=1

The woman is a financial slave for the rest of her life. I would have bobbed off the relationship too.

[juvenal]

I always ask a woman to bring her last three years' bank statements to the first date. Going through them together with the calculator can be a useful ice breaker...

[Mancghirl]

$170,000 for a photography degree. Jesus wept!

Http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/04/your-money/04money.html?_r=1

The woman is a financial slave for the rest of her life. I would have bobbed off the relationship too.

Terrifying. She could have bought herself a ton of books, a decent camera, Photoshop, set up a home editing suite, travelled around the world taking pictures and had change from $30,000.

[miko]

I always ask a woman to bring her last three years' bank statements to the first date. It's a useful ice breaker...

lol,

Finance and relationships,

Speaking to a woman today who had just finished a new relationship, she had met what she described as a good looking man , who told her he was comfortable.

He soon reveiled that he did not turn his boiler on and had no hot water to save money After boiling the kettle in the morning to make a cup of tea he then used the rest of the water to have a strip wash and took showers where he worked as they had these there.

They took a holiday together and when they got there he had only £20 with him which he changed into the local money. At the end of the holiday he changed the money he had left back into English money and still had £10.

[mikthe20]

lol,

Finance and relationships,

Speaking to a woman today who had just finished a new relationship, she had met what she described as a good looking man , who told her he was comfortable.

He soon reveiled that he did not turn his boiler on and had no hot water to save money After boiling the kettle in the morning to make a cup of tea he then used the rest of the water to have a strip wash and took showers where he worked as they had these there.

They took a holiday together and when they got there he had only £20 with him which he changed into the local money. At the end of the holiday he changed the money he had left back into English money and still had £10.

She wasn't much of a shag anyway.

[Authoritarian]

Anyone stupid enough to borrow $170,000 for a university photography course should immediately be barred from uni's up and down the land. They've already proven that they don't deserve to be there so any more $'s spent on their education would clearly be a waste of precious resources.

[Bloo Loo]

Right.

But here's the other side of the story for the UNWARY:

How Debt can create a Budding Relationship...

Remember this girl?:

xx

WHAT WILL SHE DO...

When she meets a man with money, whom she thinks can provide the lifestyle that she thinks "she deserves", but cannot provide throughh her own efforts?

Men (and high-earning Women, too)... Should BEWARE --- there are many gold-diggers about, and the law generally rewards their dishonesty and greed, if the relationship goes on for a long time.

(I am so lucky that I met a decent women of high integrity - but before I met her, I knew many of the other type.)

SOunds like that Greek tourist Minister who lived the high life with her 70 year old husband....who financed his lifestyle (and hers) by not paying 5million in tax.

course, he must have earned a packet too....but 5m would come in handy for a little something extra.

[Protect Rural England]

Right.

But here's the other side of the story for the UNWARY:

How Debt can create a Budding Relationship...

Remember this girl?:

xx

WHAT WILL SHE DO...

When she meets a man with money, whom she thinks can provide the lifestyle that she thinks "she deserves", but cannot provide throughh her own efforts?

Men (and high-earning Women, too)... Should BEWARE --- there are many gold-diggers about, and the law generally rewards their dishonesty and greed, if the relationship goes on for a long time.

(I am so lucky that I met a decent women of high integrity - but before I met her, I knew many of the other type.)

What now seems like a long time ago I remember this scenario well.

It was boy/girl "selling" themselves to one another in terms of future wealth generation and potential inheritance with an awful lot of bs thrown in. I was very good at it but then the girl's parents did their homework and after getting lucky a few times the relationship petered out.

Like Dr Bubb I thankfully and luckily married someone with a greater brain than me. My wedding present from her was my negative equity (£6k) on my flat. Seriously ....absolutely true. Never looked back since, despite all the temptations that increased wealth and prosperity brings. But always in the back of my mind were those teribble weeks and months in 1991 when I dreaded the post, 15% interest rates, mortgage, second mortgage, credit cards etc.

Pay close attention to what Dr Bubb says. I have read hundreds of his posts and he is the best "uncle" anyone on this forum or GEI could ever have. The truisms and honest comment the shrewd observations he shares with us all will save you thousands and make you a wiser and happier person.

[Mr Yogi]

These were the questions that weighed on Kerrie Tidwell. A third-year student at the Medical College of Georgia and an aspiring emergency room doctor, she doesn’t worry so much about her ability to pay back her loans.

Ms. Tidwell, 26, is involved in a serious relationship with Stefan Kogler, an architect who is a native of Austria and living in Vienna. To Europeans, who often pay little or nothing toward their university studies, the idea of going deeply into debt to get educated is, well, foreign.

Ms. Tidwell feels no guilt about the $250,000 in debt she will probably run up, including some from a master’s degree program she completed in London, where she and Mr. Kogler met. “I didn’t acquire it because I go out and shop a lot,” she said. “It’s because I’m doing something that I’ll love for the rest of my life.”

Still, if she and Mr. Kogler are going to move in together and get engaged, she wants their financial arrangements to be clear and fair. But how do you define fair when you’re bringing a quarter of a million dollars in debt to a relationship?

Mr. Kogler, 30, said he’s not so worried about it. “In the long run, it will equal out,” he said. “In the short run, you have to support each other, and I will support her as much as I can.”

His stoicism is admirable. It’s all the more so, given that if he moves to the United States permanently, he’ll probably lose the chance to run his family’s business in Austria.

What a choice.

Running your family's extablished achitecture practice in Vienna or shacking up with some bimbo medic in the US with a quarter of a mill of debt...

If she moved to Austria would she still have to pay it back?

[Bloo Loo]

What a choice.

Running your family's extablished achitecture practice in Vienna or shacking up with some bimbo medic in the US with a quarter of a mill of debt...

If she moved to Austria would she still have to pay it back?

worse, for British students, even Bankruptcy doesnt clear a student loan.

[Protect Rural England]

These were the questions that weighed on Kerrie Tidwell. A third-year student at the Medical College of Georgia and an aspiring emergency room doctor, she doesn’t worry so much about her ability to pay back her loans.

Ms. Tidwell, 26, is involved in a serious relationship with Stefan Kogler, an architect who is a native of Austria and living in Vienna. To Europeans, who often pay little or nothing toward their university studies, the idea of going deeply into debt to get educated is, well, foreign.

Ms. Tidwell feels no guilt about the $250,000 in debt she will probably run up, including some from a master’s degree program she completed in London, where she and Mr. Kogler met. “I didn’t acquire it because I go out and shop a lot,” she said. “It’s because I’m doing something that I’ll love for the rest of my life.”

Still, if she and Mr. Kogler are going to move in together and get engaged, she wants their financial arrangements to be clear and fair. But how do you define fair when you’re bringing a quarter of a million dollars in debt to a relationship?

Mr. Kogler, 30, said he’s not so worried about it. “In the long run, it will equal out,” he said. “In the short run, you have to support each other, and I will support her as much as I can.”

His stoicism is admirable. It’s all the more so, given that if he moves to the United States permanently, he’ll probably lose the chance to run his family’s business in Austria.

$250,000 debt comes with the free sex......=£164,473 NETT after tax. That is a huge debt despite her young age.

Top class hookers in London (all night) say £2000 buys 82 "appointments" with some of the very best (you interpret )

If you want the Wimpey, Barrett, Bovis types then say 822 "appointments"

If I were the groom in this scenario I sould go down the 82 appointment route. One of the top girls will think he's OK in bed and her job prospects will be better than the brides in this example, plus the groom as another poster clearly stated, gets to keep the family business

[Protect Rural England]

Wow. Thanks for those kind words.

And the best advice I can give anyonw here is: Don't listen to me, as much as you listen to yourself. Develop your own counsel.

All true amigo. I don't always concur with your analysis and interpretations of charts etc but without doubt you are a giver of knowledge. Not many like you about. Most as you know are takers or at the very least expect something for nothing.

The hard times ahead, and they will be hard, will give the smart boys aged 20-30 now, with a good long term job, the pick of the girls who will overlook their shortcomings in exchange for security, stability and a decent quality of life. I hope they choose wisely for the world is full of trickery. For the boys I would say never pick the best looker, pick the top of Div II, for they will always be most grateful and be unlikely to wander.

[ken_ichikawa]

worse, for British students, even Bankruptcy doesnt clear a student loan.

You cheat, you borrow the money from a bank for something else pay it off then go bank rupt... ensure you make a couple payments though as you maybe done for fraud

[ken_ichikawa]

To the OP..

A girl I lived with when I was 19 was doing a photography course, she ran away from her debt by marrying and getting a green card in the US. She takes photos of herself, her photos have not changed in 10 years. But she does ok as her hsband is a pilot.

[19 year mortgage 8itch]

lol,

Finance and relationships,

Speaking to a woman today who had just finished a new relationship, she had met what she described as a good looking man , who told her he was comfortable.

He soon reveiled that he did not turn his boiler on and had no hot water to save money After boiling the kettle in the morning to make a cup of tea he then used the rest of the water to have a strip wash and took showers where he worked as they had these there.

They took a holiday together and when they got there he had only £20 with him which he changed into the local money. At the end of the holiday he changed the money he had left back into English money and still had £10.

My hero

:love:

[interestrateripoff]

The US economic system is all about debt.

So you need to run up $250k just to get educated... Then you've got health care bills, buying a house....

No wonder we need perpetual growth.

[erranta]

I am so lucky that I met a decent women of high integrity - but before I met her, I knew many of the other type.

Rule No.1

Hook 'em up to a lie detector!

Rule No.2

Never lull into complacency or let your guard down for a minute!

[erranta]

Anyone stupid enough to borrow $170,000 for a university photography course should immediately be barred from uni's up and down the land. They've already proven that they don't deserve to be there so any more s spent on their education would clearly be a waste of precious resources.

Although she's idiotic - if you didn't have some photographers you would have no pictorial record of the past ages, since it was invented.

They are always showing TV progs of photo collections.

Most Historical TV programs will show old still photos within the period time frame.

KEN MORSE is one of the most famous, 'known but unknown' people on TV!

[Saving For a Space Ship]

lol,

Finance and relationships,

Speaking to a woman today who had just finished a new relationship, she had met what she described as a good looking man , who told her he was comfortable.

He soon reveiled that he did not turn his boiler on and had no hot water to save money After boiling the kettle in the morning to make a cup of tea he then used the rest of the water to have a strip wash and took showers where he worked as they had these there.

They took a holiday together and when they got there he had only £20 with him which he changed into the local money. At the end of the holiday he changed the money he had left back into English money and still had £10.

it's not the way you look

it's not the way that you smile

although there's something to them

it's not the way you have your hair

it's not that certain style

but it it could be that $170,000 of fookin' debt!

if I had a photograph of you

something to remind me

I wouldn't spend my life just repaying

A Flock Of Seagulls -

or perhaps more appropriate with the title...

[The Ayatollah Buggeri]

If she moved to Austria would she still have to pay it back?

I'm in a very similar situation to this couple. I recently became engaged to a US citizen, and we both earn around the same. She has very little savings and around $90k of remaining student loan debt; I am debt free and have net savings that are earmarked for a hefty deposit. This is obviously, therefore, a question we've been asking ourselves. From the research we've done, the answer is that she probably can leave her debt if she emigrates here, but that if she does so, she'll probably never be able to set foot in her home country again. There is a civil procedure in her state whereby a lender can apply to have the passport seized of a debtor until the debt is repaid in full. Given that her family all live there and that we'd want to visit on a regular basis, flying away from her debts would have serious implications and is basically not do-able. Were she to press that nuclear button, she wouldn't even be able to attend a parent's funeral without the risk of not being able to leave the country again. I've done a rough back-of-an-envelope calculation making the assumption that she takes six months to find a job here after relocating, and that it pays two thirds of what she was earning in the job she'd be leaving (which, given our respective situations, I believe to be realistic). Basically, if she continues to pay off her student debts at the current level, we'll be living off my salary plus around 25-30% of hers for the next eighteen years. And of course, that removes the option of her not working for a few years if we have children. The way the sums are adding up, we'll have a reasonable standard of living if we decide not to have children; but if we do, we'll struggle unless either of us changes jobs to one with a six-figure salary.

[wherebee]

I'm in a very similar situation to this couple. I recently became engaged to a US citizen, and we both earn around the same. She has very little savings and around $90k of remaining student loan debt; I am debt free and have net savings that are earmarked for a hefty deposit. This is obviously, therefore, a question we've been asking ourselves. From the research we've done, the answer is that she probably can leave her debt if she emigrates here, but that if she does so, she'll probably never be able to set foot in her home country again. There is a civil procedure in her state whereby a lender can apply to have the passport seized of a debtor until the debt is repaid in full. Given that her family all live there and that we'd want to visit on a regular basis, flying away from her debts would have serious implications and is basically not do-able. Were she to press that nuclear button, she wouldn't even be able to attend a parent's funeral without the risk of not being able to leave the country again. I've done a rough back-of-an-envelope calculation making the assumption that she takes six months to find a job here after relocating, and that it pays two thirds of what she was earning in the job she'd be leaving (which, given our respective situations, I believe to be realistic). Basically, if she continues to pay off her student debts at the current level, we'll be living off my salary plus around 25-30% of hers for the next eighteen years. And of course, that removes the option of her not working for a few years if we have children. The way the sums are adding up, we'll have a reasonable standard of living if we decide not to have children; but if we do, we'll struggle unless either of us changes jobs to one with a six-figure salary.

Good luck with this one. I'd find any way - ANY WAY - before you get married of her discharging the debt. bankrupty, jail, emigrate and never go back, dont care. Just do it. If you really belive that she is going to be with you for 30 years, you want those years to be enjoyable, not mired in debt. Even say to her family you will fly them over at your expense once every 2 years - must be cheaper than the debt once you take interest and opportunity cost into account!

[izzy]

All true amigo. I don't always concur with your analysis and interpretations of charts etc but without doubt you are a giver of knowledge. Not many like you about. Most as you know are takers or at the very least expect something for nothing.

The hard times ahead, and they will be hard, will give the smart boys aged 20-30 now, with a good long term job, the pick of the girls who will overlook their shortcomings in exchange for security, stability and a decent quality of life. I hope they choose wisely for the world is full of trickery. For the boys I would say never pick the best looker, pick the top of Div II, for they will always be most grateful and be unlikely to wander.

So only good-looking people have affairs? I'd say plainer people were more of a risk. Attractive people are used to attention and regularly have to rebut advances. Plain people rarely get noticed and are much more likely to 'have their head turned' when someone drops them a few crumbs.