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People That Need To Talk Constantly When In Company

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What is it with them ? Why can't they just sit in peace for a few minutes ?

There are plenty of people out there who, if with someone else, MUST speak and not have any quiet periods at all. It is almost as if their lives depend on it. You see them actively thinking of something to say rather than the 'dreaded' silence.

What is wrong with silence ? I can talk like the next person - but at the same time silence is good. Why does it matter if someone is sitting next to you or not ?

Thoughts....

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Wimmin?

Nope, there are plenty blokes out there who also have this affliction.

I was hoping that someone with this would be able to spill the beans. However I don't actually think they realise they do it most of the time ?

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knew someone who said they always needed background noises, it stopped the voices in there head from speaking.. They needed the radio on in the night...

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What is it with them ? Why can't they just sit in peace for a few minutes ?

There are plenty of people out there who, if with someone else, MUST speak and not have any quiet periods at all. It is almost as if their lives depend on it. You see them actively thinking of something to say rather than the 'dreaded' silence.

What is wrong with silence ? I can talk like the next person - but at the same time silence is good. Why does it matter if someone is sitting next to you or not ?

Thoughts....

I'm pretty much like that. I also loathe being alone.

You'd probably think I was very irritating. You probably do.

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knew someone who said they always needed background noises, it stopped the voices in there head from speaking.. They needed the radio on in the night...

I'm pretty much like that. I also loathe being alone.

You'd probably think I was very irritating. You probably do.

Do you know each other :)

So what is this thing then ? Is it a fear of silence ? Where does it come from ?

Any of the budding "Psych<insert as appropriate>" on this forum care to comment.

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Do you know each other :)

So what is this thing then ? Is it a fear of silence ? Where does it come from ?

Any of the budding "Psych<insert as appropriate>" on this forum care to comment.

<shrugging shoulders> I dunno

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What is it with them ? Why can't they just sit in peace for a few minutes ?

There are plenty of people out there who, if with someone else, MUST speak and not have any quiet periods at all. It is almost as if their lives depend on it. You see them actively thinking of something to say rather than the 'dreaded' silence.

What is wrong with silence ? I can talk like the next person - but at the same time silence is good. Why does it matter if someone is sitting next to you or not ?

Thoughts....

Sometimes staying silent can be read as being disrespectful. They want to avoid that.

It also depends on what or whom they talk about. I agree that too much of meaningless chat can be soul destroying.

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I have been known to talk sh*te sometimes, to fill a silence. I think it's more a nervous thing, because a silence can indicate people not getting on. Silent people can be surprisingly intimidating because you have no idea what's going through their head. They could be creating a mental shopping list, or considering murdering you ;)

I actually learnt to use silence in some work situations as a weapon haha. If a manager is trying to have a go, remaining silent can be very unsettling, and of course you're not providing ammunition in any way. If you don't speak you can't admit to anything intentionally or unintentionally.

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Smalltalk is social glue. Obv. one can go too far and not let anyone get a word in, or break into peaceful moments...

It's all too easy for a bunch of people who don't know each other too well to lapse into an uncomfortable silence, and an (entertaining) chatterbox can be welcome.

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What is it with them ? Why can't they just sit in peace for a few minutes ?

There are plenty of people out there who, if with someone else, MUST speak and not have any quiet periods at all. It is almost as if their lives depend on it. You see them actively thinking of something to say rather than the 'dreaded' silence.

What is wrong with silence ? I can talk like the next person - but at the same time silence is good. Why does it matter if someone is sitting next to you or not ?

Thoughts....

I've noticed this to be generational and regional (West coast of Scotland as one example.)

People are different. Some have been brought up to believe that it is incredibly bad manners not to converse when in the same room as another person - even if TV / radio is on or music being listened to. They couldn't stop if they tried.

They will ask 'what is it with the people who won't talk, how can they sit there in silence'?

There are other reasons. Some consider conversation (in a form of academic discussion) to be the whole point of meeting other people. Some have not been brought up with a culture of extensive reading, so will talk while you're trying to read.

I've long realised that sometimes a) I must put up with an element of incessant talking from some people (my mother, the-mother in-law etc). and B) I must accept that many people might find me rude or anti-social for not contributing to the chatter. So I decide the extent to which I fit in with them or do my own thing. As in all interactions between people the end result is a balance.

And yes its very irritating of them.

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I'm pretty much like that. I also loathe being alone.

You'd probably think I was very irritating. You probably do.

Sounds like I am the anti you. We should be careful never to meet as the resulting catalysm may destroy the universe :P

I rarely get bored on my own and a mate at uni once commented that the stonehenge is chattier than me. Whilst I can often come across as unintentionally anti-social or aloof it does mean I am confident the friends I have value me (because frankly I can be hard work at times) and I have also mastered the weapon of silence. I can also surprise people as they often assume my quiet demeanour means I am either (i) unaware of what is going on or (ii) unwilling to stand up for myself and therefore can be steamrollered at will. So being quiet can have its advantages.

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What is it with them ? Why can't they just sit in peace for a few minutes ?

If I stop talking then some other idiot will pipe up and I'll have to listen to their inane drivel.

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It's probably because their brain is hard-wired that way.

There's a guy at work who can -and does- talk all day every day and it drives me nuts having to be there pretending to listen. He's just been on holiday for two weeks and it was bliss.

I do like the guy, but I just wish he'd leave me alone sometimes.

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Sounds like I am the anti you. We should be careful never to meet as the resulting catalysm may destroy the universe :P

I rarely get bored on my own and a mate at uni once commented that the stonehenge is chattier than me. Whilst I can often come across as unintentionally anti-social or aloof it does mean I am confident the friends I have value me (because frankly I can be hard work at times) and I have also mastered the weapon of silence. I can also surprise people as they often assume my quiet demeanour means I am either (i) unaware of what is going on or (ii) unwilling to stand up for myself and therefore can be steamrollered at will. So being quiet can have its advantages.

Are you God? (We had a friend at uni like that, we called him God because he just watched and listened..... and very very very occasionally came out with a profound statement/miracle, everything he said was incredibly useful or important, he just never said anything else)

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What is it with them ? Why can't they just sit in peace for a few minutes ?

There are plenty of people out there who, if with someone else, MUST speak and not have any quiet periods at all. It is almost as if their lives depend on it. You see them actively thinking of something to say rather than the 'dreaded' silence.

What is wrong with silence ? I can talk like the next person - but at the same time silence is good. Why does it matter if someone is sitting next to you or not ?

Thoughts....

I have to say - I don't mind someone who is chatty but no malice - it can be just be being friendly - and the feel strange if they are not talking, or making small talk - I used to feel like that but i am more comfortable being quiet.

One I can't bear are people who deliberately are always trying to domineer conversations, meetings etc to look more important, or always trying to get the last word in.

But equally its hard dealing with people who have conversational skills, no sense of humour, nothing to chat about - nothing interesting to say - Remember once I shared a car with a guy every day for two years - we just could not speak about anything - it was painful and cringing everyday

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I don't mind people talking if the TV is just on in the background but everyone in the house knows that the punishment for talking during Doctor Who is a slow and painful death.

People talking to me when I am quite obviously trying to watch a film or read a book winds me up. Two people striking up a conversation near me while I am trying to watch something will incur the wrath of Ding, this also applies to phone conversations too, and has happened more than once, usually in a flatshare/ uni house and always just before the climatic scene in a movie you're really enjoying:

"And after all this time we now know who the murderer is, brace yourselves for it be......"

<Ring, ring>

"OH HAI!!!! How are yooooooo! Long time no speak....Oooohh I knowwww!......"

<gunshot>

The End.

Pet hate.

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I have to say - I don't mind someone who is chatty but no malice - it can be just be being friendly - and the feel strange if they are not talking, or making small talk - I used to feel like that but i am more comfortable being quiet.

One I can't bear are people who deliberately are always trying to domineer conversations, meetings etc to look more important, or always trying to get the last word in.

But equally its hard dealing with people who have conversational skills, no sense of humour, nothing to chat about - nothing interesting to say - Remember once I shared a car with a guy every day for two years - we just could not speak about anything - it was painful and cringing everyday

Thanks for all the responses. At least I am not the only one !!

The above really struck me though. It is the example I was looking for. Why was it painful and cringing just to sit beside each other and have your own thoughts for a journey ?

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What is it with them ? Why can't they just sit in peace for a few minutes ?

There are plenty of people out there who, if with someone else, MUST speak and not have any quiet periods at all. It is almost as if their lives depend on it. You see them actively thinking of something to say rather than the 'dreaded' silence.

What is wrong with silence ? I can talk like the next person - but at the same time silence is good. Why does it matter if someone is sitting next to you or not ?

Thoughts....

Silence is like a vacuum to some people. they just have to fill it.:rolleyes:

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Silence is like a vacuum to some people. they just have to fill it.:rolleyes:

I like silence. Except when I want to speak of course. :lol:

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Nope, there are plenty blokes out there who also have this affliction.

I was hoping that someone with this would be able to spill the beans. However I don't actually think they realise they do it most of the time ?

I had a friend like this for some years, however it was this appallingly egocentric social behaviour that means we no longer see each other. At a dinner party she would talk incessantly about herself, could turn any conversation to herself, could hijack anyone else's anecdote to talk about herself and was utterly unable to perceive her habit. Her children (adult now) were embarrassed and angry about it - that whenever they wanted to speak with her about a problem in their own life, she would refocus the conversation on herself, and we had to stop inviting her and her partner to an annual lunch we hold because she became such an unwieldy guest. I don't know whether it was all about ego, but it certainly seemed that way - she was utterly unable to perceive another person's view or treat them with sufficient respect to listen to them. We don't see each other at all now.

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I had a friend like this for some years, however it was this appallingly egocentric social behaviour that means we no longer see each other. At a dinner party she would talk incessantly about herself, could turn any conversation to herself, could hijack anyone else's anecdote to talk about herself and was utterly unable to perceive her habit. Her children (adult now) were embarrassed and angry about it - that whenever they wanted to speak with her about a problem in their own life, she would refocus the conversation on herself, and we had to stop inviting her and her partner to an annual lunch we hold because she became such an unwieldy guest. I don't know whether it was all about ego, but it certainly seemed that way - she was utterly unable to perceive another person's view or treat them with sufficient respect to listen to them. We don't see each other at all now.

Just to clarify. I don't do ^ ....

I like talking with people about, well anything. Sometimes myself - normally something bizarre......... ironic I have to talk about myself not talking about myself .... forgive me :(

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I've noticed this to be generational and regional (West coast of Scotland as one example.)

People are different. Some have been brought up to believe that it is incredibly bad manners not to converse when in the same room as another person - even if TV / radio is on or music being listened to. They couldn't stop if they tried.

But surely the chatter being described here is not 'conversation' at all. If 'conversation' can be defined as "the use of speech for informal exchange of views or ideas or information etc" then a monologue does not meet the criteria for maintaining good manners at all. I'd always thought the essence of good conversation, particularly in a social setting, was in the exchange of ideas and this requires both enquiring and listening - both of which come much more easily if you have some interest in the person with whom you are speaking; I suppose that's why I tend to thing egocentricity lies at the heart of the OP's question.

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I had a friend like this for some years, however it was this appallingly egocentric social behaviour that means we no longer see each other. At a dinner party she would talk incessantly about herself, could turn any conversation to herself, could hijack anyone else's anecdote to talk about herself and was utterly unable to perceive her habit. Her children (adult now) were embarrassed and angry about it - that whenever they wanted to speak with her about a problem in their own life, she would refocus the conversation on herself, and we had to stop inviting her and her partner to an annual lunch we hold because she became such an unwieldy guest. I don't know whether it was all about ego, but it certainly seemed that way - she was utterly unable to perceive another person's view or treat them with sufficient respect to listen to them. We don't see each other at all now.

Argh, that is one of my pet-hates in people. I've met loads of people like your 'friend'; self-absorbed, self-obssessed, egotistic etc etc and avoid them like the plague. As you say, people like her have no sense of self-awareness or empathy; just a blank wall of me, me, me. One of my colleagues at work is exactly the same; were possible I refuse to engage her in conversation (directly or indirectly) and will make great pains to involve everyone else in the office.

How do these people become so f*cking annoying? Is it incremental or were they born entirely lacking in personality?

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  • 152 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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