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Old Eddy

Request For Advice

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Can anybody please give some advice for my daughter....she and her boyfriend bought flat with a deposit from previous flat sale profit plus a gift from his parents...they took out joint mortgage and there was no written agreements regarding deposits. Relationship fails,flat up for sale till then they are having to live together which worked fine for a while but now he is playing silly games saying as his parents paid part of deposit he is major shareholder and he calls shots. Daughter would like to rent her room out to enable her to get away from stress and agro and use rent to pay her rent elsewhere- he is saying she cant..daughter was also prepared that he take away from flat whatever his parents had paid in and then split (if any) profit flat between then ..morally correct but now silly girl is wondering if in fact she would have any legal claim against the deposit too.............

any help advise from you guys I would really appreciate

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How long have they lived together?

We often talk on this site about how women can take half of what a man's earns/owns in a divorce from his house to his car to his savings in the bank... and we are mightily critical of such women who do so... and we are very critical of the fact that now when a woman lives with a man she basically has, more or less, the same rights as if she was a wife.

I only mention this because, dependent upon how long they have been in a relationship, is it not possible that she could get him to see sense and to stop 'hassling' her by implying that she is, for want of a better phrase, going to take him to the cleaners?

Obviously, there are dangers in this - I do not know this man nor his personality and whilst, on one hand, he made be putting pressure on your daughter because he is worried about getting his parent's money back, he may also just be a control freak who is hurt/offended/insulted* (delete as appropriate) that a woman is daring to leave him?

I would hate to see your daughter attempt this if there is any chance of him becoming violent.

You have to ask yourself why his attitude is so. I can only think of 3 reasons:

1. He still loves your daughter?

2. He is worried about not getting the money back?

3. He is a control freak? (If so, you need to have a long chat with your daughter about her choice of men.)

Sounds as if she needs to have a serious chat with him, reassure him that he will get his parent's deposit back as soon as the house is sold. Perhaps get a solicitor to draw up a witnessed to this affect.

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Can anybody please give some advice for my daughter....she and her boyfriend bought flat with a deposit from previous flat sale profit plus a gift from his parents...they took out joint mortgage and there was no written agreements regarding deposits. Relationship fails,flat up for sale till then they are having to live together which worked fine for a while but now he is playing silly games saying as his parents paid part of deposit he is major shareholder and he calls shots. Daughter would like to rent her room out to enable her to get away from stress and agro and use rent to pay her rent elsewhere- he is saying she cant..daughter was also prepared that he take away from flat whatever his parents had paid in and then split (if any) profit flat between then ..morally correct but now silly girl is wondering if in fact she would have any legal claim against the deposit too.............

any help advise from you guys I would really appreciate

Who has liability to pay according to the mortgage? That's all that counts, I believe and that the ex talking about being the major shareholder with rights to tell your daughter what to do is rubbish. I'd get free legal advice:

Citizens Advice Bureau

Community Legal Advice (free legal advice)

Law Centres (free legal advice)

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If a fairly short relationship take out of it what was put into it, split any surplus if there is any......your daughter would be happier not living around her ex it could prolong any pain.

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Can anybody please give some advice for my daughter....she and her boyfriend bought flat with a deposit from previous flat sale profit plus a gift from his parents...they took out joint mortgage and there was no written agreements regarding deposits. Relationship fails,flat up for sale till then they are having to live together which worked fine for a while but now he is playing silly games saying as his parents paid part of deposit he is major shareholder and he calls shots. Daughter would like to rent her room out to enable her to get away from stress and agro and use rent to pay her rent elsewhere- he is saying she cant..daughter was also prepared that he take away from flat whatever his parents had paid in and then split (if any) profit flat between then ..morally correct but now silly girl is wondering if in fact she would have any legal claim against the deposit too.............

any help advise from you guys I would really appreciate

Not sure if this is relevant but do you know whether they bought the place as a beneficial joint tenancy or a tenancy in common; IIRC tenancy in common splits it automatically into declared proportions and is helpful in disputes like this.

FWIW it sounds to me like he's being a bit of a tool btw

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they have been together 11 years ...she is major wage earner but cannot afford the flat alone . nor can he, I believe they pay 50/50 to mortgage and bills and always have. she has reassured him that parents money will be repaid if sufficient funds from sale allow..of course..he is for the most part OK but every now and then goes off on a mood and makes things uncomfortable....she would like to rent room out so she can move out ...he will also then realise that she is going and the relationship is finished

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Guest theboltonfury

Can anybody please give some advice for my daughter....she and her boyfriend bought flat with a deposit from previous flat sale profit plus a gift from his parents...they took out joint mortgage and there was no written agreements regarding deposits. Relationship fails,flat up for sale till then they are having to live together which worked fine for a while but now he is playing silly games saying as his parents paid part of deposit he is major shareholder and he calls shots. Daughter would like to rent her room out to enable her to get away from stress and agro and use rent to pay her rent elsewhere- he is saying she cant..daughter was also prepared that he take away from flat whatever his parents had paid in and then split (if any) profit flat between then ..morally correct but now silly girl is wondering if in fact she would have any legal claim against the deposit too.............

any help advise from you guys I would really appreciate

Happened to me years ago. It;ll be very tough for your daughter but she'll learn from it. Notably, that entering into a 25 year relationship with a bank is a hell of a lot more binding than that she made with her partner.

Realistically, she needs to hope it sells asap, which she will do by pricing it correctly and in the mean time not take on any further leasing committments. She should move in with mates, you or whatever until it sells but just concentrate on selling the house, payoing back the bank and moving on.

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they have been together 11 years ...she is major wage earner but cannot afford the flat alone . nor can he, I believe they pay 50/50 to mortgage and bills and always have. she has reassured him that parents money will be repaid if sufficient funds from sale allow..of course..he is for the most part OK but every now and then goes off on a mood and makes things uncomfortable....she would like to rent room out so she can move out ...he will also then realise that she is going and the relationship is finished

Sounds as if this is as much a relationship issue as a financial one.

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they have been together 11 years ...she is major wage earner but cannot afford the flat alone . nor can he, I believe they pay 50/50 to mortgage and bills and always have. she has reassured him that parents money will be repaid if sufficient funds from sale allow..of course..he is for the most part OK but every now and then goes off on a mood and makes things uncomfortable....she would like to rent room out so she can move out ...he will also then realise that she is going and the relationship is finished

That's the best answer then...things sound a bit raw at the moment and emotions riding high, it is very disappointing when things don't work out how we planned them...but hey that's life, live and learn, all the best for a trouble free outcome. ;)

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they have been together 11 years ...she is major wage earner but cannot afford the flat alone . nor can he, I believe they pay 50/50 to mortgage and bills and always have. she has reassured him that parents money will be repaid if sufficient funds from sale allow..of course..he is for the most part OK but every now and then goes off on a mood and makes things uncomfortable....she would like to rent room out so she can move out ...he will also then realise that she is going and the relationship is finished

how long ago did they buy?

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I think a lot of it depends on the loan from his parents!

Did they lend them, for example, £20k expecting £20k plus interest back or have they bought 20% of the flat? Eitherway it's a priority that the parents get the money back, whether it's a share of the sale price or 20k, your daughter and him can fight over the rest.

I think one trying to buy the other out is a good idea, although I know you said they can't afford to.

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What does she want?

If it's to never see him again then she should move out. Stop paying mortgage and tell him to hurry up and sell.

She's got to be prepared to screw her own credit rating to sort it out though I expect. Once parents get involved it'll not be fun.

Support her but don't encourage her to stay with a nutter just for the sake of ... well anything.

The place needs selling and pronto.

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they bought this flat 2006..she doesnt want to "take him to the cleaners" and i wouldnt permit that to happen..my kids were brought up properly with morals and respect for others..she is trying her best to work this out ammicably and i think his moods are because he still loves her...he isnt a bad guy and I wish it had worked out.

time will be a healer and a quick sale of property.... they have reduced the asking price by 30k- north london..

she needed reassurance that she does have an equal say in matters pertaining to the flat....

the money from parents was a 50k gift

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There is something else to bear in mind I think - tax.

I think, although could be wrong, that you cannot give a gift off over 3K per annum to anyone even a relative other than your spouse.

If the people who give the gift pass on prior to, I think, 9 years then there is tax. The tax is about 40% if they pass on in the first year and then decreases each year until year 7 or 9 I think. I am not sure of the details.

So this adds a can of worms into the equation for the son... to whom the gift was presumably... or was the gift to them both... if the parents should pass on in the foreeseable future... I think...

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Can anybody please give some advice for my daughter....she and her boyfriend bought flat with a deposit from previous flat sale profit plus a gift from his parents...they took out joint mortgage and there was no written agreements regarding deposits. Relationship fails,flat up for sale till then they are having to live together which worked fine for a while but now he is playing silly games saying as his parents paid part of deposit he is major shareholder and he calls shots. Daughter would like to rent her room out to enable her to get away from stress and agro and use rent to pay her rent elsewhere- he is saying she cant..daughter was also prepared that he take away from flat whatever his parents had paid in and then split (if any) profit flat between then ..morally correct but now silly girl is wondering if in fact she would have any legal claim against the deposit too.............

any help advise from you guys I would really appreciate

Depends how they have registered their ownership, either as Joint Tenants or Tenants in Common. It will most probably be the former. which means they each own the property jointly and the law sees them, in effect, as a single person. Basically, they sell it, pay off the mortgage and split what's left.

If they are registered as Tenants in Common they will have specific shares as a percentage so whatever is left is split in that percentage.

I can't see that she could rent her room out as it would need both of them to sign the lease. Besides, they would also need the consent of their mortgagee and would need to arrange appropriate insurance. In addition, the flat will most likely be leasehold and the lease may prohibit sub-letting.

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they have been together 11 years ...she is major wage earner but cannot afford the flat alone . nor can he, I believe they pay 50/50 to mortgage and bills and always have. she has reassured him that parents money will be repaid if sufficient funds from sale allow..of course..he is for the most part OK but every now and then goes off on a mood and makes things uncomfortable....she would like to rent room out so she can move out ...he will also then realise that she is going and the relationship is finished

Unfortunately its not her room to rent out. Its one of their rooms. He is not required to take a stranger into his/their home against his wishes. You are getting only one side to the story

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Further to what I said above. The lateness of the hour was affecting me last night and what I should have said was yes, if they sell now then the residual money will be distributed to them in the proportions in which they put the money in. However, if one of them serves notice on the other that they are severing the Joint Tenancy then it turns into a Tenancy in Common in which they both have equal shares.

Your daughter has this to hold over her ex and can threaten to do it if he gets unreasonable.

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they bought this flat 2006..she doesnt want to "take him to the cleaners" and i wouldnt permit that to happen..my kids were brought up properly with morals and respect for others..she is trying her best to work this out ammicably and i think his moods are because he still loves her...he isnt a bad guy and I wish it had worked out.

time will be a healer and a quick sale of property.... they have reduced the asking price by 30k- north london..

she needed reassurance that she does have an equal say in matters pertaining to the flat....

the money from parents was a 50k gift

I'd suggest that's between him and his parents. They're adults right?

Sell house; split in proportion to what they each put in. (Parents gift to him was his money as far as you've described it - He ought to be aware there's probably a potential future tax liability there somewhere since it's in excess of the annual tax free gift allowance)

Get on with their lives - the end.

2p

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  • 149 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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