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goldilocksporridge

Offices Are Full Of Childish Easily Offended People

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Is it just me or is 90% of those who works in offices, are generally childish, catty, petty - and far too easily offended - look at them sideways and there ready for an argument, or there bitching or talking about someone- so many bitter people - there is little open and honest conversation - its just fake ******** conversations. Perhaps its sitting down all day at a desk - leads them to think too much. How would any of these people survive working in a kitchen with nasty chef, or in the army. Then again there are bosses who act like assholes - as soon as they get any abuse back your job is under threat.

I always shy away from too opening up to people in the office - as I have learned from experience, then again avoiding people leads them to bitch as well, there is not an easy way - if only I could get a decent job without having to endure other people.

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Is it just me or is 90% of those who works in offices, are generally childish, catty, petty - and far too easily offended - look at them sideways and there ready for an argument, or there bitching or talking about someone- so many bitter people - there is little open and honest conversation - its just fake ******** conversations. Perhaps its sitting down all day at a desk - leads them to think too much. How would any of these people survive working in a kitchen with nasty chef, or in the army. Then again there are bosses who act like assholes - as soon as they get any abuse back your job is under threat.

I always shy away from too opening up to people in the office - as I have learned from experience, then again avoiding people leads them to bitch as well, there is not an easy way - if only I could get a decent job without having to endure other people.

Bad day at the office?

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We live in an infantile culture of entitlement, attention-seeking and complaint. Narcissism is the dominant characteristic and what you describe is simply all of the aforementioned combining to produce the modern phenomenon of "taking offence". The great thing about offence is that the threats of the bully can be presented as the protests of the victim so that the ego can bask in virtue while the id exults in aggression. Its very randomness creates a climate of fear that all bullies find satisfying.

We live in a sick society, with extremely sick people, Freud would have his work cut out if he we still alive today. It's not your imagination, you are simply quite perceptive.

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- there is little open and honest conversation - its just fake ******** conversations.

It's to do with the slave mentality that is common at offices.

I also think it's interesting that very few office workers can handle a real conversation. They tend to talk about events or TV shows. Short sentences with nervous jokes and avoiding any insightful opinions.

Very often the conversation is extinguished the minute you ask them about their real views on a given subject.

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It's to do with the slave mentality that is common at offices.

I also think it's interesting that very few office workers can handle a real conversation. They tend to talk about events or TV shows. Short sentences with nervous jokes and avoiding any insightful opinions.

Very often the conversation is extinguished the minute you ask them about their real views on a given subject.

yes why is that - I mean of course no one wants to listen to ranting mad man shouting political opinions - and you need to be professional

its office workers, have their real personality at home, I suppose with wants, opinions etc like most people - but in work environment they turn into fake middle of the road, weasels with no opinions or real conversations - there like cloned personalities, which they will calculate will lead them fit in the best, and get promoted.

I noticed these cloned personalites are becoming more common, even outside work.

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Guest Noodle

yes why is that - I mean of course no one wants to listen to ranting mad man shouting political opinions - and you need to be professional

its office workers, have their real personality at home, I suppose with wants, opinions etc like most people - but in work environment they turn into fake middle of the road, weasels with no opinions or real conversations - there like cloned personalities, which they will calculate will lead them fit in the best, and get promoted.

I noticed these cloned personalites are becoming more common, even outside work.

Frank's right. Go and do something else.

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yes why is that - I mean of course no one wants to listen to ranting mad man shouting political opinions - and you need to be professional

its office workers, have their real personality at home, I suppose with wants, opinions etc like most people - but in work environment they turn into fake middle of the road, weasels with no opinions or real conversations - there like cloned personalities, which they will calculate will lead them fit in the best, and get promoted.

I noticed these cloned personalites are becoming more common, even outside work.

It could be lack of excercise or poor diet (too much sugar). I've found that my best office mates are those who stay active and are reasonably fit.

As long as you have one or two good mates at your office, you'll be OK.

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I can think of only two types that cause a problem:

The type that have too much power (not necessarily title) and proceed to bully / aggravate / loudly voice their opinions.

The type who are bored. They usually turn to gossiping, bitching, politics and complaining about trivial things.

I'm guessing you have a few of either one or the other?

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We live in an infantile culture of entitlement, attention-seeking and complaint. Narcissism is the dominant characteristic and what you describe is simply all of the aforementioned combining to produce the modern phenomenon of "taking offence". The great thing about offence is that the threats of the bully can be presented as the protests of the victim so that the ego can bask in virtue while the id exults in aggression. Its very randomness creates a climate of fear that all bullies find satisfying.

We live in a sick society, with extremely sick people, Freud would have his work cut out if he we still alive today. It's not your imagination, you are simply quite perceptive.

Hit the nail on the head - its taking offence at everything - just a tactic for getting your own way, so people are walking on eggshells.

And attention seeking, and trying to domineer situations - instead of just getting on with job and doing the job properly.

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Hit the nail on the head - its taking offence at everything - just a tactic for getting your own way, so people are walking on eggshells.

Could you give an example of a couple of things you've said that have caused offence?

I've usually found most offices are the opposite, where the banter goes well beyond, well, shall we say 'professional' :unsure:

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Could you give an example of a couple of things you've said that have caused offence?

I've usually found most offices are the opposite, where the banter goes well beyond, well, shall we say 'professional' :unsure:

Bosses giving dirty looks, evil stares, or rolling their eyes - but never actually clarifying the problem to lead you to think you have offended them in some way.

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Bosses giving dirty looks, evil stares, or rolling their eyes - but never actually clarifying the problem to lead you to think you have offended them in some way.

If you were loudly voicing a rumour that his wife had a face like a slapped donkey.. maybe I could understand it :P

Otherwise it seems pretty silly. Do you have the confidence to have a word with them about it?

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Bosses giving dirty looks, evil stares, or rolling their eyes - but never actually clarifying the problem to lead you to think you have offended them in some way.

It's a domination and control mechanism. Some of these 'people' are quite unwell.

Really, this office thing is not doing you any good and you do need to change what you do for a living. This is the second or third thread you've done on this theme.

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It's a domination and control mechanism. Some of these 'people' are quite unwell.

Really, this office thing is not doing you any good and you do need to change what you do for a living. This is the second or third thread you've done on this theme.

exactly - think the past being younger you just ignore these things - but as time goes on you see the same types of personalities - and all you can see is many years of dealing with people who want to hold you back, drag you down, see you fail.

part of me feels like sticking it out, and aim to get a promotion - thats the way to beat them

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exactly - think the past being younger you just ignore these things - but as time goes on you see the same types of personalities - and all you can see is many years of dealing with people who want to hold you back, drag you down, see you fail.

part of me feels like sticking it out, and aim to get a promotion - thats the way to beat them

Beat them at what? It's a waste of life. Go and do something else.

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Beat them at what? It's a waste of life. Go and do something else.

+1

When I was younger I would sometimes do things to "piss people off"; I then realised that they weren't that bothered and I had done something I wouldn't have chosen to do for a false reason. Silly boy.

Why worry about getting that promotion to get one over on people you despise. Go and work with people you might like and look forward to Mondays.

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Guest Noodle

+1

When I was younger I would sometimes do things to "piss people off"; I then realised that they weren't that bothered and I had done something I wouldn't have chosen to do for a false reason. Silly boy.

Why worry about getting that promotion to get one over on people you despise. Go and work with people you might like and look forward to Mondays.

Quite correct. This could mean a career change and possibly a drop in income, but who cares?

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I don't know where the hell you work, but as I have said before I suggest you look for another job if it's that bad.

A pretty facile statement BUT it does back up the dominant paradigm of enforced "cheerfulness". The Yanks have perfected it and we love to copy them. It doesn't matter where you work or where you go, the culture is identical. Humans hate freedom instead prefering the comfortable world of conformity, and in order to achieve this you must be seen to be "happy". Stating that you are not is "verboten". In fact stating said position is liable to get you filled with "happy" pills. Welcome to the asylum.

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A pretty facile statement BUT it does back up the dominant paradigm of enforced "cheerfulness". The Yanks have perfected it and we love to copy them. It doesn't matter where you work or where you go, the culture is identical. Humans hate freedom instead prefering the comfortable world of conformity, and in order to achieve this you must be seen to be "happy". Stating that you are not is "verboten". In fact stating said position is liable to get you filled with "happy" pills. Welcome to the asylum.

Pretty good post that. A retired American doc I know says 'If work's so great, why do they have to pay you to do it'.

I guess offices are different, but site work you could be yourself, no one tried to control your personality.

So Frank's right, this person needs to do a different job.

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Is it just me or is 90% of those who works in offices, are generally childish, catty, petty - and far too easily offended - look at them sideways and there ready for an argument, or there bitching or talking about someone- so many bitter people - there is little open and honest conversation - its just fake ******** conversations. Perhaps its sitting down all day at a desk - leads them to think too much. How would any of these people survive working in a kitchen with nasty chef, or in the army. Then again there are bosses who act like assholes - as soon as they get any abuse back your job is under threat.

I always shy away from too opening up to people in the office - as I have learned from experience, then again avoiding people leads them to bitch as well, there is not an easy way - if only I could get a decent job without having to endure other people.

Why get so philosophical about work; after all, it is just that. Don't let people get to you so much. Work is simply a minor distraction; an irksome chore that must be tolerated. Quite possibly, the problem may be that you're too sensitive. I recall my mother telling me about my father when he went back to university to study Law as a mature student. Anyway, he came home in tears because no-one would talk to him; his problem was that he was insistent on talking about 'meaningful subjects'. He failed to realise that, more often than not, people in social situations only want to discuss trivialities. Lighten-up a bit.

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I had a strange experience a few weeks ago.

I had a meeting on site with someone I've just started working with and she was absolutely awful, blind as a bat, mad as a hatter, deaf as a post, spouting off one stupid ugliness after another.

I was left shaking my head thinking,

"How can I work with this idiot?"

Anyway, because she has some contacts I need I had to steel myself and meet with her again in the office and she was fine. I had a couple more meetings with her and she was amazingly, really quite good, on the ball thorough, helpful, reasonable even.

It just seems that on site she's a nightmare but in her non-threatened comfort zone office, she is really very good.

It's a funny old world.

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I agree with the original post.

Pubs, hospitals and life in general also suffer the syndrome, leaving only little pockets of real life surviving. (Like the OT forum here... ho ho ho!) I blame mumsnet and the sweeping, stifling matriarchal influence.

I used to churn it up a bit with posts on this site, with no shortage of bites as a result, but it's not very satisfying is it? I gave up.

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+1

When I was younger I would sometimes do things to "piss people off"; I then realised that they weren't that bothered and I had done something I wouldn't have chosen to do for a false reason. Silly boy.

Why worry about getting that promotion to get one over on people you despise. Go and work with people you might like and look forward to Mondays.

+1 Guess what? They don't care about you!

Don't waste your time trying to 'get even', leave and do something else or you will become bitter. Unless you HAVE TO work with prats, do something you want to, do rather than have to do!

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  • 145 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

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