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Mark Uttley

Hpc Dilemma

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Imagine you are the only person in a points box for a section of train track.

Heading down the track at 120mph is a scheduled intercity train. If it continues on it's scheduled path, it will head towards and rapidly reach none other than Kirsty Alsopp and Phil Spencer who are walking on the track.

They are too far away for you to contact them in any way.

You have no way of contacting the driver or stopping the train.

The only way you can divert the train is to pull a lever to change a set of points. This will send the train onto a disused piece of track which runs across some slightly overgrown wasteland.

However, sitting on this piece of track is a sulky Gordon Brown.

Although no trains have used this track in recent years you know that the track has been inspected and can be confident that the train will not derail as a result of the diversion. You have no way of contacting the former PM either.

What do you do and why?

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Imagine you are the only person in a points box for a section of train track.

Heading down the track at 120mph is a scheduled intercity train. If it continues on it's scheduled path, it will head towards and rapidly reach none other than Kirsty Alsopp and Phil Spencer who are walking on the track.

They are too far away for you to contact them in any way.

You have no way of contacting the driver or stopping the train.

The only way you can divert the train is to pull a lever to change a set of points. This will send the train onto a disused piece of track which runs across some slightly overgrown wasteland.

However, sitting on this piece of track is a sulky Gordon Brown.

Although no trains have used this track in recent years you know that the track has been inspected and can be confident that the train will not derail as a result of the diversion. You have no way of contacting the former PM either.

What do you do and why?

Ring someone on the train sitting near the buffet and tell them your predicament and get them to de-couple the carriages and then change the points when first half of the train shoots through..

Kill three turds with one stone.

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Imagine you are the only person in a points box for a section of train track.

Heading down the track at 120mph is a scheduled intercity train. If it continues on it's scheduled path, it will head towards and rapidly reach none other than Kirsty Alsopp and Phil Spencer who are walking on the track.

They are too far away for you to contact them in any way.

You have no way of contacting the driver or stopping the train.

The only way you can divert the train is to pull a lever to change a set of points. This will send the train onto a disused piece of track which runs across some slightly overgrown wasteland.

However, sitting on this piece of track is a sulky Gordon Brown.

Although no trains have used this track in recent years you know that the track has been inspected and can be confident that the train will not derail as a result of the diversion. You have no way of contacting the former PM either.

What do you do and why?

Stick the end of the lever in my box holding my Schrödinger's cat. If it pulls the lever Brown dies, if it doesn't Kirsty and Phil do.

Of course I could just not bother to look inside the box, in which case both Kirsty, Phil and Gordon will simultaneously be both alive and dead until I chose to pop the quantum bubble.

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I don't think Gordon Brown deserves to die. He failed as a prime minister and had some terrible ideas for how to fix Britain, but at least he wasn't greedy or wicked. Not sure you could say the same for Tony, a wolf in bankster's clothing.

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I'd throw myself in front of the train in an effort to save all three of them. Without its favourite three villains, HPC would fall to pieces.

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I don't think Gordon Brown deserves to die. He failed as a prime minister and had some terrible ideas for how to fix Britain, but at least he wasn't greedy or wicked. Not sure you could say the same for Tony, a wolf in bankster's clothing.

Brown did more damage as Chancellor than as PM.

I'd rather he was discredited, exposed as the man at the helm during the credit boom, and humiliated, than killed.

So Kirsty(who is too thick to ever understand what she contributed to) and Phil would cop it, not him, despite Brown being more important.

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Guest Noodle

Leave the train on its course to take out Krusty and the bald guy.

Then, using a flip down phone, call the driver and tell him to back up coz he's got one more unscheduled stop to make. ;)

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I don't think Gordon Brown deserves to die. He failed as a prime minister and had some terrible ideas for how to fix Britain, but at least he wasn't greedy or wicked. Not sure you could say the same for Tony, a wolf in bankster's clothing.

Brown arrogant sociopathic tw@t.

I'd definitely change the points. Then I'd marry Sarah Brown and become the new daddy! :o:o

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Guest theboltonfury

I'd tell Jordan that there was a guaranteed OK magazine shoot for her on the lightly used wasteland track. I'd tell her that Gordon Brown was going to be there to meet her.....

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Imagine you are the only person in a points box for a section of train track.

Heading down the track at 120mph is a scheduled intercity train. If it continues on it's scheduled path, it will head towards and rapidly reach none other than Kirsty Alsopp and Phil Spencer who are walking on the track.

They are too far away for you to contact them in any way.

You have no way of contacting the driver or stopping the train.

The only way you can divert the train is to pull a lever to change a set of points. This will send the train onto a disused piece of track which runs across some slightly overgrown wasteland.

However, sitting on this piece of track is a sulky Gordon Brown.

Although no trains have used this track in recent years you know that the track has been inspected and can be confident that the train will not derail as a result of the diversion. You have no way of contacting the former PM either.

What do you do and why?

Brilliant. I would let the train continue I think

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This is a similar conundrum that was doing the rounds on mobile phones and email a while back.....

THE SITUATION:

You are in England, York to be specific.

There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.

This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water.

Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

THE TEST:

Suddenly, you see a man in the water.

He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.

You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar...

You suddenly realise who it is... It's Gordon Brown! You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two options:

You can save the life of Gordon Brown or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country's most powerful men!

THE QUESTION:

Here's the question, and please give an honest answer......

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white

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I don't think Gordon Brown deserves to die. He failed as a prime minister and had some terrible ideas for how to fix Britain, but at least he wasn't greedy or wicked. Not sure you could say the same for Tony, a wolf in bankster's clothing.

You're talking about a different Gordon Brown from the rest of us! The one we knew as PM was pathologically ambitious and his greed for power and acknowledgment knew no bounds.

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Guest Skinty

Let the train carry on. Brown's a has-been whose future is to be judged harshly by history.

Krusty & co still appear on TV.

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  • 140 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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