So I'm Going To Be A Father

[Bossybabe]

Yep it's confirmed...my boys can swim and in a little under 7 months I'll be a dad.

I have a plan, if it's a girl she will be the next British Wimbledon champ (let's face it, no Brit will win it in the next 18 years). If it's a boy (second choice) then he will do something in medicine. I started my pension late and need some income later in life.

Now there are a few things I'd like not to change. I've ordered them by importance, what will I be able to keep?

8 Hours sleep a night

6+ hour sessions on Call of Duty

4 Gym sessions a week

A clean car

Spare cash

None of the above, in my experience. And you'll probably have to give up sex for a while, too.

[Sledgehead]

agreed

Like you'd know

[I_Claudius]

I don't let things like that get to me so it's all good. If it all went to sh|t with money I'd just take off to NZ and start over (with gf and nipper of course), life's too short.

money has been way less of an issue than I anticipated, as TBF says social life costs are minimal(!!) and I've stopped finding as many ways to piss away cash as I used to

that said, holidays get pretty expensive and I'm guessing school years and above get pretty pricey too

has helped me to get a lot in perspective tbh and question how materialistic / wasteful I had been previously; simply spending time with my new family is enjoyment enough without spunking loads of cash (which is how a lot of my free time had been spent previously)

[Sledgehead]

And don't worry I'll keep my nipper and chest of cash away from foxes

[Guest Noodle]

I think I need to move my family to Thailand! I paid 15000 THB for the effing pushchair, and in Switzerland it would have been more than twice that!

It's a really good one too, Tesco Lotus, big mag wheels, orange too! £20.

The price of your pushchair in Switzerland pays for 3 years fees at a decent private school up here.

You now understand why I put up with the little things. I shall retire and it shall be here.

[swissy_fit]

None of the above, in my experience. And you'll probably have to give up sex for a while, too.

That depends on mum and IWIN. I have a colleague who is sh*gging his way through the available women at work, his wife turns a blind eye 'cause new baby takes all her attention. He was always a bit like that, but since the birth he's chasing round like a teenager.

On the other hand my missus, who is a pain in the a4se in many other respects, was desperate to get back to what she does best.....

[IWantItNow]

None of the above, in my experience. And you'll probably have to give up sex for a while, too.

Morning sickness is a problem at the moment so the no sex thing is already in progress. Don't women get super horny a few months in? Whatever...I'm man enough to handle it

money has been way less of an issue than I anticipated, as TBF says social life costs are minimal(!!) and I've stopped finding as many ways to piss away cash as I used to

that said, holidays get pretty expensive and I'm guessing school years and above get pretty pricey too

has helped me to get a lot in perspective tbh and question how materialistic / wasteful I had been previously; simply spending time with my new family is enjoyment enough without spunking loads of cash (which is how a lot of my free time had been spent previously)

I'm not currently spunking cash up the wall so I'm hoping I'm already getting used to that. The only complaint I have is that I still want to, I'm hoping that what you say is true and that desire disappears when the time comes.

[libspero]

The dear wife just had another. Last Sunday was a new push chair £20, 144# pampers £24, 16 boxes of formula £44, clothes £16 . . .

Need to pre-pay school fees for the next 3 years for other one, now 6. £600.

Sorry Noodle.. just had to put that in perspective for my own idle curiosity.

School fees are certainly good value there!

[IWantItNow]

That depends on mum and IWIN. I have a colleague who is sh*gging his way through the available women at work, his wife turns a blind eye 'cause new baby takes all her attention. He was always a bit like that, but since the birth he's chasing round like a teenager.

On the other hand my missus, who is a pain in the a4se in many other respects, was desperate to get back to what she does best.....

Kin'ell. My missus would boot me out, rightly so.

[Battenberg]

Congrats!

I think it's a load of old scaremongering.

Apart from the lack of sleep how exactly is a baby going to mess up your car? I'd say fitting in the gym might be difficult but aren't little for ever so it's about adjusting.

I've got pictures of Mr F playing the 3DO with a newborn on his lap and I'm sure he'd still squeeze in some COD time if we did it all again. Personally, I didn't find it financially difficult until, well, about now. 3 pairs of shoes from Clarks and you can kiss £100 quid goodbye and stroppy teenagers seem to be a magnet for money even if it's just for you to get shot of them for a few hours so you don't go insane.

This place is definitely getting more like mumsnet .

[swissy_fit]

Kin'ell. My missus would boot me out, rightly so.

She's traditional French. And apart from his rabbit tendencies, he's quite a catch, the blind eye may be linked to this.

[IWantItNow]

Congrats!

I think it's a load of old scaremongering.

Apart from the lack of sleep how exactly is a baby going to mess up your car? I'd say fitting in the gym might be difficult but aren't little for ever so it's about adjusting.

I've got pictures of Mr F playing the 3DO with a newborn on his lap and I'm sure he'd still squeeze in some COD time if we did it all again. Personally, I didn't find it financially difficult until, well, about now. 3 pairs of shoes from Clarks and you can kiss £100 quid goodbye and stroppy teenagers seem to be a magnet for money even if it's just for you to get shot of them for a few hours so you don't go insane.

This place is definitely getting more like mumsnet .

Most of what I said was in jest with a semi-serious twinge. For example I expected people to laugh off those expectations but if someone said to me they still managed to get in hours of personal entertainment with a newborn then I would tip my hat and ask how. I'm all about learning.

[Guest Noodle]

Sorry Noodle.. just had to put that in perspective for my own idle curiosity.

School fees are certainly good value there!

Yep. £200 a year, includes the door to door minibus each way.

The more I read about UK costs of living the more glad I am I have found refuge here.

[Guest Noodle]

I thought you hated it there though?

Improved of late, substantially. It's not the place, so much as me and blood glucose. The old womans back and quite normal, sensible. Was a very tough 18 months that though.

[I_Claudius]

Congrats!

I think it's a load of old scaremongering.

Apart from the lack of sleep how exactly is a baby going to mess up your car?

my car is now coated in various bits of kid type food detritus, toys, books, single shoes and socks and other assorted crap; the entire back seat is coated in a inch thick layer of crumbs and crushed banana; and we get it valeted every couple of weeks(!!)

[IWantItNow]

my car is now coated in various bits of kid type food detritus, toys, books, single shoes and socks and other assorted crap; the entire back seat is coated in a inch thick layer of crumbs and crushed banana; and we get it valeted every couple of weeks(!!)

That's the fear!

[Guest Noodle]

my car is now coated in various bits of kid type food detritus, toys, books, single shoes and socks and other assorted crap; the entire back seat is coated in a inch thick layer of crumbs and crushed banana; and we get it valeted every couple of weeks(!!)

Got one of these . . .

Just throw them in the back, you can hose it out afterwards.

[Guest Skinty]

my car is now coated in various bits of kid type food detritus, toys, books, single shoes and socks and other assorted crap; the entire back seat is coated in a inch thick layer of crumbs and crushed banana; and we get it valeted every couple of weeks(!!)

So is my car and my bloke's the only one in it for 5 days of the week.

[Battenberg]

my car is now coated in various bits of kid type food detritus, toys, books, single shoes and socks and other assorted crap; the entire back seat is coated in a inch thick layer of crumbs and crushed banana; and we get it valeted every couple of weeks(!!)

I don't doubt it at all, mine is too but it's not like that at the beginning. All this stuff creeps up on you.

It just always strikes me at the idea of a new baby reeking havoc on something with the exception of your sleep pattern and sex life. Having said that I'll grant, all the paraphenalia that, at the time, seems necessary even for a simple trip to the supermarket can make a bit of a mess.

[IWantItNow]

Got one of these . . .

Just throw them in the back, you can hose it out afterwards.

How much? I'm not flogging the Golf so the missus' Corsa will have to go

[Freeholder]

Never been a father but I am an uncle many times over. Being an uncle is great. You take the kids out and tell them you dont care how much Coka Cola they drink or crisps they eat. At your house you just give them the TV remote and they think you are wonderfull. As they get older you can teach them about what you do. The look on a 13 year olds face when you have just given him an AK47 to shoot is something else. Let them drive the car a bit as soon as they are tall enough, always goes down well. Answer their questions as if they were grownups, they all like that. You get lots of fun and then their parents have to do all the hard work of discipline etc. Its brilliant.

[Guest Noodle]

How much? I'm not flogging the Golf so the missus' Corsa will have to go

Dunno in Blighty, here £10k.

We do ride right in the back of these things like the Taliban. Refreshing.

Oh, something else. The Terrible Twos . . . you'll go through a stage of frightening behavior for about 12-18 months, then it all calms down again. These are the bad times.

[19 year mortgage 8itch]

Babysittng for the first time in a while, going through the terrible twos.

It's just gone 8 here, sun set a while ago and fast losing what's left of the light. Sat outside, cooler now but been 30++ today. Its not the Cyclades but the sunset is none too shabby, even on the south sde of Crete. Hoping the little one occupies himself long enough with Thomas to finish this beer.

Too late, its tractor and train play time. I think the key is that it normally gets harder as they get older and they'll make far more mess the more mobile they become. Bacj later

[Guest Absolutely Fabulous]

Yep it's confirmed...my boys can swim and in a little under 7 months I'll be a dad.

I have a plan, if it's a girl she will be the next British Wimbledon champ (let's face it, no Brit will win it in the next 18 years). If it's a boy (second choice) then he will do something in medicine. I started my pension late and need some income later in life.

Now there are a few things I'd like not to change. I've ordered them by importance, what will I be able to keep?

8 Hours sleep a night

6+ hour sessions on Call of Duty

4 Gym sessions a week

A clean car

Spare cash

Congratulations! Parenthood is wonderful, frustrating, exhilarating, exhausting, and generally bluddy hard work. Your life will change for ever.

I do so hope your comments about what they'll achieve was tongue-in-cheek. Kids need to grow in their own special soil and be what they were meant to be.

PS wave goodbye to all of the things listed above...at least in the short term.

Lean back and enjoy it all. They grow up too quickly.

Prepare for a change in attitude and outlook. If it is a girl, your attitude towards females may well change for ever.

[Daft Boy]

Is there any way to reverse this?

Yes. Insist on a DNA paternity test