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First There Was Bridezillas, Now There's Birthdayzillas!


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Guest Noodle

It's post like this that make me ashamed to be a woman.



If I were a bloke I'd stay single!

Of course I mean "anything" in the title - I'm so shocked by this thread!!!

I think it's for the best for most people to stay single. That said, me and the wife are getting on quite well now. She makes me a pork and vegetable penang curry . . . adding just enough spice to mask the metallic zest of the arsenic. It's actually very nice.

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It calls for Cubans with the Jesus piece.

I've made a complete cluster****** of everything.

It's my 30th in a weeks time. Dh is notoriously crap at planning anything in advance or organising. I'm still smarting from my 25th birthday when he'd led me to believe that it was all in hand, but at the last minute my best friend had to step in to arranage a get together with all our friends because basically Dh hadn't got around to doing it.

There's been so many similar incidents before and since. He usually ends up working on my birthdays or our wedding anniversaries, and turns up late if we've arranged to go out and celebrate. He's not a bad person he's just always disorganised and too busy with his job.

Knowing this I suggested weeks ago that I arranged a bit of a get together with all our friends for my 30th. But Dh sort of laughed it off, saying there was no need because 'It was all in hand.' Because of his track record I wasn't filled with confidence, and once or twice since I've asked him if he has really planned something? And that if he doesn't intend to please tell me so that I can. I knew there was every chance of me waking up on my 30th birthday with nothing planned and him trying to get a last minute table reservation somewhere. But each time he's just joked around and made some stupid comment about how he's going to cook me a 5 course meal (he can't cook) or he's pretended he's forgotten all about my birthday.

It's really got me worried. So today I texted one of my best friends to ask if Dh had been in touch about my birthday. She replied that he hadn't, and that she had been wondering if we were going to be doing something as it was my 30th.

It was all my worst fears come true. So I rang him at work and angrily asked if why he couldn't be bothered to arrange a get together for my 30th hadn't he been honest enough to say so weeks ago, so at least I could have sorted something. He basically told me to stop hassling him about it and that I was being a pain in the ****. So I cut him off.

2 minutes later I got another text from my best friend to say that Dh had been in touch about my 30th, but he'd spoken to her Dh and her Dh had forgotten to pass the message on!

I then got a text from my Dh saying he had planned a surprise dinner for us with a dozen friends. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I'm so furious with Dh for not just telling me straight weeks ago that he had definitely planned something and put my mind at rest, even if he didn't tell me precisely what, so it could still have been a surprise. Instead of being twattish about it and pretending he'd forgotten it was a special birthday etc.

So Dh has now taken the moral high ground because i have spoilt my surprise birthday, and none of it is his fault.

I feel gutted because I would have loved it to be a real surprise and feel so upset now I've spoilt it. But I'm also angry that his past behaviour has made me doubt him so much when it comes to making an effort for birthdays and anniversaries. It wasn't just me being skeptical that he;d bother to organise a get together, several of his own family were very skeptical that he'd bother to do anything too.

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